Wrapped in a White Cloth...

The whole place just blew up into a ball of fire...From this side of the creek, all I could do was to see them with my eyes wide open and missing every other beat of my heart...I just couldn't imagine that I was really witnessing a violent blast in my own neighborhood...I knew, any survivors was a hopeless thought...just could pray that there was nobody inside that warehouse...it was already 6 O' Clock in the evening and was naturally past office working hours...God, please, please please...let not any family be grieved by this mishap...

On my next instinct, and my years of training on first aid, brought in an urge to reach the accident site ASAP. I just hoped, IF I could be of any help...maybe the authorities would like some helping hands like mine...I rushed... How did I reach there, I don't know...but in a minute, I was there...I could see the charred remainings of a "warehouse"...practically nothing remained...the police, the water tanks, para medics, public etc was all around...I could see many people pushing against some police to find their way into this scene...I could see lots of new reporters...WHAT SHOULD I DO..WHAT WILL I DO...I just stood there...awe struck with the scene happening in front of me...

Suddenly one policeman approached me...He asked me, "Maa'm, could you please come with me. We might need some help from ladies."...I wondered, what sort of help...still as if in a trance, I walked behind him...My legs were shivering as I approached the entrance of the "once warehouse"...as I walked, I looked ahead..into the boundary of the burnt down remainings... I was shocked...I couldn't belive my eyes...among all those ashes was a cloth liner...still staying on air with its ends tied to the nails on the walls of the building...How come this didn't burn off...before I could finish my thoughts, something else just struck my heart...I saw hundreds of white clothes cleanly hanging on the clothe liners...not even one had caught fire...and with an ache in my heart, I realised those white clothes were those of babies...The white dresses that we make a baby wear at the hospitals on birth...I WAS SHATTERED... What I thought was a warehouse, was not one...It was a Baby Care Clinic...

Nothing crossed my senses...I just couldnt move...my heart started pumping blood into my brain in such a pressure, that I felt, I might collapse...with fear, my eyes looked all around the area....for what...I can't even say...But then I saw...many volunteers coming out of the place with something wrapped in their hands...It didn't take much time for me to realise, they were dead bodies...the burnt bodies of babies...not one or two...but hundreds...I wanted to run off from there...but I couldn't move...my legs were stuck to the ground...I cried... I screamed...I called out for help...I wanted to be out of that place...then and there...but none came to help...I just saw every single person walking past me with a baby wrapped in white clothe...all of them had tears in their eyes...but none spoke to me..none offered me a help...I couldn't bare to see the horrible scene in front of me anymore...My whole body was shaking...I closed my eyes and started pleading for help..I yelled and yelled...at the top of my voice...

Suddenly I felt somebody pulling me...I opened my eyes...I heard my mom's voice..."Wake up...you are already for the class"...I felt blank...What was that...Is this a dream...or what I saw earlier was a dream...with much relief, I confirmed it was a nightmare...just a nightmare...

JUST a NIGHTMARE...???? No...it wasn't JUST a nightmare for me...Because the pain in my heart persisted even after I woke from my sleep...my heart pumped hard for days...the feeling of the "something bad" ate my days...I couldn't think sense for days..the baby wrapped in white clothe came in front of my eyes for days bringing out tears in my eyes and making my heart beat faster than before...I had lost my peace of mind...I was suffering...just because of a nightmare... I wondered...HOW LONG WILL I GO FORWARD WITH THIS PAIN...I had no answer then...

But the pain had to stop one day...and it did...it was heart breaking, but still it cleared all the conufions in my mind...It answered all the worries given by that nightmare...The thought is still a pain...But still...I realised, Maybe the nightmare was an instinct...a sign...a sign preparing me for the future...

You must be wondering now..."what was that future...what did that nightmare prepare me for..." It prepared me to face a tragedy...to bear a pain..."The Pain of Death"...

Days after this dream...one day...I witnessed...

"My uncle carrying his newborn baby, who died on the second day of birth, to the grave...and the beautiful boy was all wrapped in a white cloth...."

My First Love Letter...

My first love letter...Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkk, I hate to even think of that,of all the people in the world, I got my first love letter from a stranger...The letter was ofcourse in ENGLISH...God, help meeeeeeeeee....the letter was the best proof that this boy knew not much of english and grammars and spellings...I doesn't remember the complete letter..but still, let me jot down what ever I remember of the letter...

Deer sweethart,

I want to tell you I love you. I wait 3 year tell you. I afraid. First I see you at the shop. I love you then. I come behind to your house that day. You not see me. I want know about you. So I made friend your neibor. He told all thing of you. 3 years I am behind you. You not know. I loved you like god.

when I see you, I sure God made you for me. 100% sure.your eyes beautiful. your smil beautiful. your face beautiful. no use make-up. I like nature beauty. I like you. Promise. I want marry you. .....

etc etc...and thus went on the whole letter... at times, I feel, reading that letter was the most difficult thing, I have ever done...if you guys didnt understand wht he meant..let me tell you..he meant, he first saw me at a shop before 3 years and from then he is loving me...he was always following me and I never noticed him...he even befriended my neighbour to know more about me and thats how he know everything about me...When he see me, he feels god had made me for him... and he likfe my smile,eyes, face...and also requesting me never to use make-up as he like natural beauty. and he want to marry me...

Goddd, help me...the letter made me crazy....if you had read the rest of the letter you would have really felt like trashing the author up...lol!!! What happened to that guy and his love...will write another day...

You might be wondering what I did with the letter...Nothing...I just tore off the letter and threw it into the air...uhmmm... But till date, I regret tearing the letter off...ATLEAST I COULD HAVE KEPT IT AS A MEMORIAL...and maybe could have shown it to my kids in the future to teach them how bad can grammatical errors be...lol!!!

Jogging...???? Noooooo, Never....!!!!

Are you a fitness freak??? Do you exercise or jog on a daily basis?...uhmm…I never been for regular jogging…just a month back, when I was sitting at home doing nothing (during my redundancy days)..suddenly I had this thought of staying fit…Enthusiastically I started jogging daily evening for 1 and ½ hrs… I felt healthy…and I decided, I would continue it always….heheh!!! Even my firm will power couldn’t take me forward too many days...Work, Eat, Sleep routine resumed its duty as soon as I was back at office…

Anyways, now to the real story…I was talking about jogging…this is something that happened a few years back…the years when I never needed any jogging to stay slim and fit…during those days, all of a sudden, my brother had this awakening thought of staying fit by jogging…maybe our neighbors, his friends motivated him to start jogging… not to put down weight (he had nothing to loose than some bones…lol)…What ever! one fine day he started jogging daily morning…of course accompanied by his friends…(Inside story: We used to make fun of him saying, he’s just going to the junction and sit there on the road side, sleep for 1 hr and then come back home…hehe!!! So bad right..???) Daily morning, he used to wake up at 0500am, put on his shoes and leave for the hard tenure of jogging (he used to sleep with tracksuits on, so that saves his time in the morning…waking up early was horror for all of us always...heheh!!!)

So one such day…due some reason, I was not getting proper sleep through out the night…I was having regular parades to the kitchen and scanned the refrigerator every half an hour to grab something or other to feed my mouth…lol, when I couldn’t sleep, I preferred spending my time by eating…anything like tomatoes, carrots, biscuits, chips etc…(a small incident during one such trips to the kitchen was…One night, by some 0200am, I walked to the kitchen to have some timepass…hehe!!! To my horror, I heard a sudden explosion breaking the night’s silence…Within seconds, I was back in my bed…lol, that night I had too much of imaginations of thieves, ghosts etc etc as the source of that loud sound…When I saw my mom cleaning the floor near the fridge the next day, I realized with shame, that what I heard the previous night was “A beer bottle breaking…it was kept there by one of our neighbor to make it cold quickly to serve at the wedding reception party at their house…” neither did he remember to take it back nor we knew about it…Anyways, once the bottle broke, the beer had the whole night to flow all around the floor of the room…Only if I had notified my mom regarding the sound the previous night, it would have saved her from cleaning the whole mess the next day morning…)

Now back to my story…so I wasn’t feeling sleepy and literally spend the whole night awake eating, reading books, walking around, watching the stars…etc etc…Soon it was somewhere around 5 O’ clock…I was still roaming around in the ground floor of my house when I heard the alarm go 'TTRRRRRINGGGGGG' in my brother’s room in the first floor. I decided to see him off and then go back to sleep…I waited near the stairs (ofcourse, without the lights on…)

I saw my brother walking down the stairs with closed eyes with his shoes in his right hand…Poor boy, he was still half asleep…I smiled...rather, I giggled…lol…Somehow, my brother who was walking down, hearing something, opened his eyes slowly….Ahaaaaaaa…(“did he hear me giggling..?”) What I heard next was a scream… “Aaaaaaaaaannngggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and I saw my brother turning back and climbing or rather running all the steps up…

I wondered…WHAT THE HELL….I called out… "Brooo…What happened…”

He made a sudden halt…and in a jiffy came back in front of me and shouted… “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE AT THIS TIME OF THE DAY…and that too IN THIS HORRIBLE DRESS…” and he turned back and walked to his room saying (as if to no one) … “Uhhh!!!…walking around in the night to scare people…doesn’t want to sleep herself and then scaring people…above all, no other dress to wear…”…

Only then did I realize what happened after all… I was wearing a flowy white night gown…and with the street light shining into the room, all he saw was “Somebody standing there down at the steps in a white dress waiting for him with a laugh.” In a reflex moment, he took it for a ghost…lol…!!!!

I just broke into laughter…Till date, I never leave a chance to pull his leg on his courage and the way he ran, that night, screaming Aaaaaaaaaannngggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh …

Ofcourse, Who is going to remind him of the beer bottle…!!!

A Friend in a Stranger...

A very small phase of my life from the past, but…it was years later (rather too late) that I realized how big a part that phase was inmy life…The Phase of Love…yes, its true…Love, even if it is in the minutest form, would always be large enough to make an inerasable mark in ones life…

Those were days when the person who I thought was my best friend had broken my trust putting me in a dilemma with many questions… “Should we trust anybody ever…Are friends for real…” etc etc…I needed something to ward my mind off…THAT SOMETHING which I did for fun got me a stranger as friend…FRIEND?

A stranger for a friend..???uhm...Was I back to my self??? NOPE…this time I am not going to trust anybody…and let them take me for granted…I decided…”I am going to be rough and tough…If the so called friend ever try to break my trust, I would do that to him before he even think of doing it to me…”… Thus I was cautious…

From words to voice…that’s how we came to know each other…Our common interest, MUSIC… all that we discussed was music…we used to exchange lyrics of songs…favorite songs…we even used to sing out loud….lol!!! We enjoyed every moment of it…atleast I was enjoying…I was forgetting my pains…I was happy to have him as a friend…

Soon we both knew, that we were in love…both of us had learnt every bit of the other in the longest detail, and therefore, there was no fear of secrets...no fears of breaking the trust….but still there was one fear taunting me… “To love and get hurt” was the last thing I wanted…Some sixth sense said, YOU ARE GOING TO GET HURT… I was selfish…I was… I showed a new face…a face with no love…a face with no commitments…a face with nothing more than friendship…I shaped the whole thing into Infatuation…

With this infatuation, the uncertainty, the “so called friendship”….we met…with no commitments we spend long hours together…we were not sure of the future…but decided to cherish the present…we helped each other to forget our pasts…we stood by each other during many of those hard times…we cared for each other…together we warded off the loneliness we were feeling till then…each day, we loved each other (always hiding it in the mask of friendship) as if tomorrow would never come….

In his analysis, “he fell in love with me, not knowing that I could never love him…I was just concerned for him due to the friendship we shared…but still, he can never stop loving me… and he’s not expecting me to love him back…” I agreed to this analysis…When I smiled, he took it as ridiculing his feeling… When I kept quiet, he took it as I was offended…I agreed to all his assumptions…Bcoz, I knew that was the best for both of us… “Why burn yourself by jumping into fire, knowing it would hurt…”…I tried consoling myself…

Tomorrow brought out the harsh truth of life…we have to move apart…as always, even this we did together…we gave each other the courage…the advises…the strength…we parted ways…Even then, he blamed… “You are soo heartless…”..I smiled…because I knew, he never meant what he said…because he knew me…he knew both of our helplessness…Still we parted ways…with the promise of keeping our friendship always alive…He made another promise (even if he never said that, I knew it)… “He would never stop loving me…and would never care if I love him or not…His feelings for me would never change…”

Its years past now…as we promised, our friendship is still alive…we still give strength, courage, advises to each other…

What I still know is, “He still loves me a lot…and will never stop loving me…”

What he still doesn’t know is…, “How much have I cried on the nights when we walked the opposite direction…How hurt am I, even today, thinking of the day we parted...How hard I prayed for us to get the strength to go forward…How, I can never take him out my heart…ever…even if he still stays in my life as just a ‘so called friend’…How I can never disclose my love for this ‘Friend in a Stranger’….”

For No Reason...

There are times when even the broadest smile might fail that one drop of tear from falling off…that one drop that you have been trying to hold back…and it’s then that you feel stupid when you start wondering what were those tears for…and that’s when I realized that it is most difficult to hold back those tears which flow without any specific reason… because I am one such person who faces (quite often) the embarrassment caused by “Tears for no reason…”

Today, the sky is looming above me with dark clouds, as if they were waiting to pour down loads of rain any time…and I realized…, today even my mind was in the same state as the sky … my face was dark with my eyes all filled up with tears all set to overflow any moment…Such a coincidence…I wanted to cry…rather outpour my heart with my tears…

I had a rough night yesteray, with literally no sleep…It was more like being awake with sleeps in between...rather than sleeping and waking up in between…I woke up every 10-15mts and wondering if it was time to wake up and get ready to go to office…Finally, when I got into the car, …Seeing my face all blown up, my car-mate enquired…”Any probs?”… I started wondering, “What’s the problem? Why am I feeling this heavy feeling at heart…” …and without even my knowledge words escaped my lips…”Hey, Nopes…no probs at all…Just that I feel like crying…”…

Uhhh???? What did I say??? I wondered…and I knew even my mate was wondering…but still he managed to ask, “But why???”… and I found myself replying, “For no reason…I just feel like crying..and I am trying hard not to cry…” and it was true…My eyes were filled with those unwanted tears and there was that suffocating pressure rising inside me as if there was a heavy pain on my chest ….I wanted to talk to somebody…

I wanted to talk to my aunt...rather I wanted to cry out…scream out…Pour out all my tears…I knew only that would ease me off…She is the one to whom I doesn’t mind crying out…She would always try to understand my tears…on the other hand, if it was my mother…”my tears would bring tears on her eyes…and that would make things more terrible for me…and naturally I didn’t wanted to hurt my mom with my tears” …so I really wanted to talk to her…call her on phone…but, then…@&^%*, my mobile had no balance…and I was already getting late to office…and in this weather can’t afford to waste time on the road…as rain could make the forward trip horrible, if it started pouring…

I excused myself from giving company to my friend with an excuse of a headache (usually, when he drove, I talk and talk and talk..and that keeps him from sleeping off during the long drive from home to office daily morning )…I leaned back with closed eyes…turned my head towards the glass window… I knew, I was getting ready to pour out those tears…and I did exactly that…Those salty water was flowing hard from my eyes…and I was trying hard not to let my friend know…he could misunderstand the whole thing … he might take me for an idiot for crying without any reason...

Still I cried…cried for nothing…not knowing what exactly was hurting me…I vent out all those pressure that was building inside me…Some day soon, I will know…what was it that was giving me that pain that made me cry…till then, I have to call these salty water, “Tears for no reason”

Good Afternoon, May I Help you...

Have you ever gone through embarassment just due to your over confidence? Have you felt as if you were being peeled out from some core into the open space??I am sure,atleast once in your life time, you would have gone through one such instance...and they would be always unforgettable...For me, there's one such instance from the pages of my life too which would be always memorable.Fortunately, I was not the main character of that SHOW...

This happened during my college days. For my graduation, as part of Project submission we were to work in any Company in Customer Service role. I, along with four of my friends joined one of the leading Group in the city. We were rostered to work on different departments as days passed. One such department was the Motor Vehicle Showroom which was quite coool place to work due to its hi-fi infrastructure and the exposure we got in CUstomer Service (which would help us beautify our Projects in the best possible way).

This showroom's incharge was the Sales Manager, Mr.Ray Kurian, who was very strict in nature and expected very proffessional behaviour from the staffs. When he was around, it was like all of us were standing on fire. He had a seperate office covered with Glass walls. Naturally, this made us extra consious of what we were doing and made sure we were not fooling around. Now, about the showroom : 'It was just few weeks earlier that the gearless scotter Honda Activa came to market and therefore, there was a high demand for the vehicle. But, due to non availability of the vehicle, we could only do booking and despatch was done only one "First come First Serve" basis..We, the so called staffs, were given very clear briefing and was instructed sternly that "NO ONE WILL GET THE SCOOTER OUT OF THE WAY"..means NO recommendations, NO bribing, NO emergency basis...nothing doing...What so ever happen, you will get your scooter only according to your booking number." ... Apart from this IMPORTANT thing to remember, rest we had to always keep in mind all the Golden Rules of Customer Service (like 'have a good posture', 'greet, smile while handling customers' etc etc).

Here, let me initial my friend as Miss. R. I and R was on D-day, rostered to be at the showroom and assist walk-in customers with all sort of queries they had. The morning was very hectic, as the showroom was filled with customers and the staffs had handful to take care of...We, the On-job trainees, were feeling proud that we were getting to work independently and so was busy giving 100% Customer Service to every single person who came in front of us. By afternoon, the showroom became almost vacant due heavy rain outside. I and R, tired of the heavy work proceeded towards the reception area. I released the Receptionist for her lunch and R sat in front of me, both of us easing down...

Suddenly, the phone rang. I picked up the phone and remembering the Golden Rules of answering a telephone call started talking:

Me: Good Afternoon, M Motors. May I Help You?
Customer:Ok, I want to buy a Honda Active
Me: Sure Sir, Can I have your name?
C: My name? For what???When can I get the scooter?
Me: Sure Sir. I can give you all information. But could you please give your name so that I can keep records of your query.
C: Oh, I am Thomas. I need Blue Colour. What're the documents you require?

(Gosh! three questions to answer. from where should I start...help me..especially because Mr. Ray Kurian is in the office. and I don't want to flop it up)

Me: Sure Mr. Thomas. We have five different colours of the model. But unfortunately, you will get the scooter only on booking basis. As per the present situation, we cannot promise you the scooter before 2 months.

C: WHATTTT? No way...I need it in one week.
Me: Oh, sorry sir. That wouldn't be possible. It's strict policy of the company. We can't jump the booking priority at any cost.
C: (a bit softly) I can pay extra for that
Me: Sorry Sir, It's not possible
C: I can ask one of the Ministers to recommend.
Me: Really Sir, I would love to help you. But this is not possible. I can make a booking for you and try to get it for you as soon as possible, but I can't promise you anything. It will depend upon how soon we get the scooters and the number of cancellations. But can't ever jump the priority.

(Till then, R was sitting in front of me facing me...She was showing me faces as if to ask me Who was it on the phone...)

C: Uhmmm...Ok then...Good...Give the phone to the lady sitting in front of you...
Me: Excuse me...?? What???
C: Give the phone to the lady sitting in front of you...I am Ray Kurian...
Me: (shocked) What..? (I looked to my side and saw him sitting at one of the chairs and he signalled me not to say anything and give the phone to R)...OK...

I gave the phone to R

Me: Answer the phone and handle the customer,I couldn't convince him, fast.
R: (covering the mouthpiece of the phone) Who is this?
Me: Some Customer...talk fast..talk carefully...

I tried alerting her with my facial expression..I winked at her and pointed my eyes to the direction Ray was sitting. Unfortunately, she mistook my alerting her as fun...She thought it was some friend calling to fool her...And _________....(remember, during this whole converstaion R was leaning towards the Reception table resting one of her hand on the table as if she was sleeping on it)

R: Hellloooooooo (as if she was singing)
C: Hello, I want a Honda Activa
R: Sooo??? Who is this??
C: Who are you?
R: Who is this???
C: I am Thomas. I need to know, when is the earliest I can get my scooter
R: Ohhhhhhhhh...Scooterrrrrr...Sure sure..you will get it now.. Come here... I can arrange one now only.

(She was really thinking that one of her friend was pulling a prank on her...)

C: WHAT???The other girl told NO...
R: (now fed up of the prank) So what, I told you, I will give..I will...Now stop joking..Who's this...???

(Between, I tried stopping her...and once I knew, she was in no mood to understand what I was trying to say..I stopped...and then enjoyed the conversation. I was trying hard to hold on to my laugh, imagining her face when she realise it is Ray Kurian.)

C: So, you think I am joking?? Ok...I am Ray Kurian.
R: Ahaaaaa...Now you are not Thomas. You are Ray Kurian.. Wonderful..haha!!!
C: I am Ray Kurian. Come to my office....
R: (sarcastically) OHHHHH Ray Kurian...HOW R UUU...

At this point, I intervened. I told her that it was indeed Ray Kurian and he's sitting at the other end...

You should have seen R's face.. All pale and white in colour...and shivering....

R: Oh, Sorry Sir..Sorry...I thought...I meant...I didn't mean to...
Ray: Miss. R, come to my office. I need to talk to you...

and the call ended

She was almost at verges of tears fearing that Mr. Kurian might blast her now for the silly behaviour...especially at the reception. I advised her to apologise for the mistake and try explaining the reason for her behaviour. (frankly, if it was me in her place, I would have eloped from the place long back..lol!)

Anyways, things went fine...She went and before he could say anything, she apologised and told him, that she thought it was some friends...Especially, because, I was already on phone for some time, she just thought so...and so on....Finally Ray said,"It's fine...But such situations could come in real life.. Even if it is your friend, don't behave so till you confirm it is your friend indeed..."...etc etc...

I am sure, R wouldn't have heard the full conversation as she was blank with embarassment and fear...She still get the shiver of her life remembering the embarassment she went through at that moment when on the phone she heard...

"I am Ray Kurian. Come to my office..."

Done with Hibernation...

Atlast, I am back in full spring...hope, I would be more regular in boring you all from today...I would see to it, that I am there around to eat your brains out and put you into deep thoughts... Thoughts like "WHY THE HELL AM I READING THIS"..."IS THIS REAL..."..."AM I SO UNLUCKY TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS" and so on...I am sure, you should be wondering, how come...The answer is simple...I AM BACK after my hibernation of a few weeks...

Alas, my hibernation period is over... I am back into the mechanical world of LIFE...Wake early in the morning (which i really hate), Dress Up for work (which is horrible), Drive through the traffic (Ha, Terrible..), Reach your office (all hopes gone), Work (like a sleeping log,uhm???Naahh, Work as if you have no work tomorrow...)... Eat your food (Beware, bring your own lunch, else your wallet would be empty and the Cafeteria guy's wallet would fill up...) Work again (looking forward for the last minute of work) and then again a horrible drive back...but this time with lots of expectation to have a great sleep...Thanks to Mom, that after reaching home, I don't have to worry of Cooking...Atleast after reaching home, I can have food ASAP and then jump into my sweet bed to wake again to the horrible tone of the Clock ALARM...

To be short and sweet, "I am no more Jobless"...hehe! I got a job...uhmm...Thanks Thanks...for your Congrats...lol!!!...and if you were not thinking of Congratulating, now you have the chance...Congratulate mee...Ok, Thank you...Yes, as I mentioned a few days back..All that happens, happen for good...Even if I got redundant, it was for the better...So, what happened is, I am back with my old company, but in a different department, with a better position and with more responsibilties...Thanks to Multi Tasking...I proved wrong the "Moral of the phrase", JACK OF ALL TRADE, MASTER OF NONE...being a JACK helped me get this job...This proves Learning and and trying to learn more would always help you..If not today, some day it would come handy to you...Atleast it's true for me...

So, What's the best thing of all this...Now, I don't have to worry...I don't have to miss the happiness of 25ths...Yes, 25th...Now, you should be wondering, what this 25th stand for...Come on, you should be guessing that...That's my salary date friends...Yeah, I can yet again look forward to 25ths of every month...lol, thats the day when my bank account looks COOL with fresh earned salary enhances the beauty of my account...Ha, on those days, how I love to enjoy the wonderful view I see when I gaze at the monitor of the ATM machine... It looks so full...so full with the 'Balance in Account', with not just Zero's but also some digits before that...Wouldn't you hate not seeing those digits ahead of those Zero'es...

That's when I realise and relish the beauty of Zero...uhm...Have you ever thought of the instances that one could love a Zero...I think, I would love a Zero, when its shown on the amount of Calories I consume a day...I wouldn't want to see another digit before that for sure... I would love to see a single Zero, when I search for Traffic Fines/Penalties and would hate the same Zero, if accompanied by more Zero'es with another digit as the Leader...grrr... etc etc etc...I can quote many such examples against and for Zero'es... But then the Zero / Zero'es with a digit ahead of them in our Bank Account Balance would be the most pleasant instance of all...it just washes off all the tiring days and brings in a smile in your face...Ha, that's Money... Your Hard-earned Money...Yes, that's the point...It's not just money...you worked hard for that...and that makes it more dear to you...

Sooo, as usual, I started from A and reached Z... I just came to let you all know, that I am back...and see, I started giving philosphies on what...Of all the things in the world...I gave you a lecture on Zero...??? God, help meeeeeee....Why am I so intelligent, that I have so much to say on anything and everything...

God, why did you make me sooooo ...lol!!!

Struck by the most dreaded weapon...Is it???

You must be wondering, where have I been, for the past few days...Why there wasn't any blogs or news from me...Why no more of those boring stories...Why this long silence...Not bcoz I had nothing to say...Not bcoz I was devoid of any subject / topic to blabber on...Rather the past week could have been the most busiest day in my blog...but then, still I stayed silent...Why???Was it that I didn't feel like getting on to the system and type something...Was it bcoz of that lazy feeling that was not giving any mood to confine myself to do something...You will know the reason at the end of this blog...

If you remember, just a week back, I told you, that for the time being, I got saved...but not this time...If it was 6 last time, this time it was 5 of us...who got the GET OUT letter...uhm..true..how much ever sympathetically and caringly they give us the bad news, the one word meaning for the whole stuff is GET OUT....lol!!! Something that I have been fearing for past few months finally happened...Yes...Finally, I too got struck by the most dreaded weapon of 2009...Recession...I too got that "love letter"...The letter informing me that my valuable service is no longer required by my company...They can manage the work without me...The Redundancy Letter...It was something that I was expecting from more than six months...not becoz I had no faith in my working ability...but bcoz I knew what was the current situation of the world and market...Today or tomorrow, when the company can no longer bear the expenses of salaries of all its staff, the company has to say NO to some...and somehow, luck would play its trick here, to decide who would stay back and who wouldn't...Luck helped me till last week...but not any more...Luck left me for that one moment and the letter got prepared with my name ON...

When this fear of losing job started, I used to think...what would I do, if I got that dreaded letter...I used to tell my mom, "I would faint..I would cry...I might go into a depression..."...Not because I loved my job...lol!!!..but because of the consequences it might have...With a big loan to be paid off...jobless meant moneyless...moneyless means Installment defaults...and that meant TENSION...grrr...I just was scared every moment, feared WHAT IF....but when it really happened, to be frank, suddenly a smile came across my lips...I just lturned to the other Unlucky guy from my office and we both started laughing...God knows, why we did that...but when the BOSS was very sympathetically saying sorry for giving us such a bad news, we both were laughing...and I said..."Hey, never mind..You don't have to be sorry...It's not your fault...Just keep in mind..If any job openings come across you, please let us know..."...That made all five of us laugh out...and we shaked hands and left the room...We were Job Less now...

Suddenly, I felt a big pound of weight going off from my heart...I felt much lighter at heart....I felt just the opposite of what I expected...I was calm and cool...Then I knew, what mental tension I have been going through last few months due to this fear of losing job...and now..no longerdoes I have any such fear...I no longer had any job to loose...I was cool...haaaaa...!!! The moment brought in a big feeling of Optimism in me...I have been working for quite some years now...I need some rest now...and the best part was...As the Redundancy compensation, the company would be paying 2 months salary...Sooo....????

"I am currently on a 2 months paid vacation..(so I doesn't have to worry about my loan installment for next 2 months) ... I am planning for a job change (U see, that's pride, lol!!!)...I am sure, within this two months, I would get a good job..a better one...that job which I would love to do...So why worry....(That is "Grapes are Sour", hehe!!!)...With this optimistic thought, I happily came home with the most dreaded letter, no longer dreaded for me...It was a boon that took off all the tension I had for months...I knew, if God closes one door on you, not 9 but 1000 other doors would open for you...You just need to find the right door and go in...I am just going to do that...Find the right door..."

So, even after being so optimistic..then why this silence for the past week...Dont worry friends..I wasn't on any depression...I was just enjoying the rest period I got, the unexpected vacation...I was Sleeping my head out...staying awake late night watching movies that I missed, not worrying to keep the alarm ON for the next day early morning...Let me just relish these personal treats for the first few days before I start again on the Job Hunt and get back to my old routine.....

Even if it is a yes....I don't Care...!!!

I understand, my posts are always longgggggggg...and at times that makes the unfortunate readers feel bored...But what to do...Whenever I start jotting down, I tend to get toooo elaborative and then goes on and on and on...same goes with my talking...I start talking...and then I just go on...and the worst is that, I might start talking on something and then might quote an example from somewhere...and then I might just completely forget the starting point...Many a times you would see me lost...wondering "Why did I say all this...???" and then, even ask you also, "What was I talking about...???" ... and those of you who were not that focussed on my conversation, trust me, will also suddenly find themself lost ..After all, "Why were we talking all that about...?" and guys, its soooo embarassing to realise, that you have been all this while going on and on and on and your listener wasn't paying attention to you...You feel ashamed that with your conversation you already reached Singapore, but your listener was still at some Andheri (Mumbai) Bus Stop that would take him to Airport, so that finally he can catch the flight that takes him all the way to Singapore....where I had reached much before and might have already proceeded to the Antartic area....lol!!!

I am sure, by now, you understood what I meant. If not, please excuse me...I am feeling too sleepy after my Sphagetti Alfredo lunch and the complimentary Icecream they treated me on...uhm...Heavy lunch..and there goes my below average Diet...all that I managed to cut off from my body this whole week, I managed to gain double with this one lunch....haaaaaaaaaa....Uh????Lost again...Why am i talking about my diet...It was no where in my plans for todays blog...and sorry, I am going to stop blabbering...

Another of my philosophy for you people to think upon...."You wait the longest for???? and the answer for me will be Week ends.../ offf / Vacations / Public Holidays..."... I always sit wondering, on the last day of my leave schedule the pace with which my vacation flew offf...why can't time just crawl and move, just as it moves when we are waiting for the vacation to start...and I really wouldn'd mind, if Time just doesn't reach the last day at all....Wow...What a divine thought....

At times, I wish, if my company gave me salary for sitting at home...Gosh, Another of my divine thought....At times, I wish, if our bosses had NO authority to sack us...but is FORCED to give us salary in any circumstance...I work or doesnt work, I come to office or doesn't come to office, Be it is "You know Who R word" etc etc...That would have been the most perfect Job....I am sure you are not among those people who prefer getting salary without working...I am shameless enough to accept that...hehe!!!

There's a joke that prevails among us...Somebody is really desperately sighing and saying..."I need to get a job soonn...."...WHYYYY???? .... "Only then I can take leave..."...That's a truth....When we are at home, we wish we got a job soon..and once we are on the job, we wish we could stay home...lol!!!

By the by..My dear Readers... Why am I saying all this to you....What did I start my blog on...To be frank, today I thought of blogging about a "Patch Up" I made with one of Close friend with whom I had a misunderstanding and lost that closeness between us.... The relation was a sweet one to be explained and as the saying says, the more you love someone, the more it can hurt you....But after years, the clouds of misunderstandings drfited apart...and the sun of our love for each other came out again...After years, I spoke to her with my mind and heart open...We cleared our misunderstandings...and apologies exchanged...This is was what I wanted to share with you all...Unfortunately, my blabbering mouth took the better off me...

Naturally I am happy...so is my tongue, I suppose...So maybe, some other day, I will come back to bore you with my Patch-up story....For today, you are saved...bcoz I am logging off for the day...But just now, one doubt came up.... "AM I BORING YOU...???"

Why waste a second...???

As I was very elaborately scribbling down my earlier adventure, suddely I recollected another instance of embarassment..and this time for a change I was not the Prey...but my bro...Before I go into that story, lemme first give you a brief description of my bro's character... He's basically quiet in nature, a complete opposite to me...and reserved too and behave as if hes tooooo matured... When its 'fun matters' he do indulge in them with a totally opposite face, completely enjoying every moment.but still keeping on that dignified manners(don't forget he's younger to me...)..for the same, he was one among the most respected guy in my family....(I used to every now and then get the sarcastic comments...Your bro is very sweet and nice...uh???does that mean I am not... bcoz I talk a lot, does that mean I am not...grrr!!!)...

So now to the main story...This happened in 2003...he was abroad studying...and joined us for a one month vacation...As part of enjoying vacation, we used to roam around to anywhere and everywhere...and thus we reached yet another Crime Scene...lol!!! thats the best way to explain such places where we get HARRASSED..haha!![come on guys, you were supposed to laugh here...I meant truth...].

We roamed around this particular Mall and was just about to leave the place...when myself noticed a Skeleton hanging on one corner of that main hall... You see, Some Great Guy had once said, "Curiousity is the Mother of all Embarassment"...now no need of googling "WHO IS THAT GREAT GUY"..naturally its ME...so due curiosity, I dragged my bro and my friend towards the entrance of that area where the Skeleton was hanging waiting for us...To my Excitement, we found we were standing at the entrance of the Haunted House...

I had to really work with all my pursuing skills to make my bro and friend to join me to the House...Ofcourse, who would like to enter a Haunted House alone...(ofcourse not for fear, hehe!!..its fun to be with more people, right???)..Finally, we started our journey through the door...ofcourse, we were all holding our hands so that if something scary happens, we can atleast run together...But to our total disappointment, the place was just like walking through an old museum...only difference was that this place was dark and some wierd sound coming from back ground...we just saw some artificial skeletons, ghosts, vampires etc on either sides of the path we were walking which couldnt excite us in any way...Naturally, we started talking to each other telling.."Ha, what is this...This is boring...We wasted our money..."..etc... and continued walking...

Finally, we could see the Exit door ...My bro exclaimed..."Ha, its done...What a waste.."...!!!From where we were standing then, the exit door was in a straight line in front of us almost 15 steps ahead...and to our left was an area that resembled like rocks...we noticed that a large portion of the rock was leaning down from the ceilings towards the floor...and if we had to cross that area, we had to bent down quite a bit and move forward...Due to the dissapointment we had till then, we were in no mood to just crawl that area for nothing... so we decided to walk forward and just exit the Boring place....

At this point, suddenly I (who was last in the line of the three people walking with hands holding to each other) felt like something brushing against my ears...I thoughts something might have fallen from the ceiling..and just brushed my ears off, just in case it was some cockroach...But then again, something touched my shoudler and this time something said inside me that "Something was wrong Somewhere.." ...My first expression was of a bit of Fear+Curiousity+Alertness...I slowly told others, "Bro, I feel there's something behind me..."... Soon after I said that, all three of us turned slowly to look what it was...

Alas....all I saw in the dark was a "Blue face with lots of Witch -like hair and a blue broom which was being brushed against my back..." This sudden revelation of seeing a Ghost, somehow made all of us go blank...and to mine and my friend's shock, My brother who was guiding us till then holding our hands, suddenly screamed..."Sis, Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnn..." and started running...ofcourse leaving his hands off us...We saw him run forward, and suddenly the blue face was right in front of us on the way to the Exit...Then my bro changed his route and took the left route, which was to walk beneath the rocks...

Neither me nor my friend saw my brother walking...we saw him running or rather flying off like a lightning...for his life...All we could at that moment is just follow him...and Myself was looking behind and a glimpse of that Blue face was more than enough for us to gain speed...We too reached the rocky area and was just about to cross the area with our backs bent...and suddenly we noticed, that the area where we were supposed to cross, on the floor is a big pit with a coffin and something like a dead body was lying in there...Naturally we had to jump that area and goo...and remember we should jump with our back bend...Anyways, with the fear that had engulfed us already, we got all energy to jump across even the Pacific Ocean...we cross the area and reached the Exit and came out (for onlookers, they felt that we were being thrown out of that place by somebody...because, none of could exit that room with any grace,,none of us were walking, nor running or flying...We were all just falling off that room..hahah!!!)...and I just turned back to have one last look to know what actually happened in that split of a second...and I saw the blue face nodding his head to either sides and laughing...his teeth all blue in colour in that dark room...

Suddenly, we saw a number of people (the onlookers)...around us, staring at us, all laughing their heads out on the way three "Bodies" fell out of that Haunted room, one behind other with pale faces and shivering legs....and the worst was my bro...To top it up, we started screaming at him for leaving us and running off to save his own life...But once after the shivers subsided and regained our energy, we started making fun of him...We realised the funny part of the whole incident...

Later we reached home with a 'still quiet brother'...We were explaining the whole incident to our mom...and my bro just couldn't raise his head due embarassment...Because, being a MAN, he was expected to protect us...and instead he RAN OFF....lol!!! Between, while explaining the room, we reached the point where we had to jump across the coffin...and Guess what...

My bro said, "Uh...coffin...??? where??? I never saw anything like that..."

Me, "What...You didnt see the coffin...You went out through that rocky area, right???"

Bro: "Yes, I did...but I just ran off that area...Why?"

Me: "Still you didn't see the coffin on your way...You couldnt miss that, as you need to jump that to cross that area...."

Bro: "Ha...lol!! Frankly I didnt see that coffin nor the pit...actually I was not even in my senses...I was just jumping off to save my butt from that area...Maybe I might have crossed that unnoticed...Ha, imagine if I hadn't made my jump properly, I could have even fallen into that pit..."

We all had a huge laugh on that comment..and also on imagining what would have happened to him, if he had fallen into that pit....Then suddenly my mom asked him...a Real Genuine Question...

"But, son, How could you leave two girls inside such a room alone and run off to your own safety...You were supposed to protect them right???"

My Bro replied....

"Ha...Sis is always behind adventure...and for her fun, she put us in trouble...I just thought, if she's that adventure hearted, she will surely find a way out safely...Still I did tell her to Run, didnt I??? If I wait there to save her..I would just end up staying there...WHY WASTE A SECOND, IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO SAVE YOURSELF...HA!!!!"

In the Air...On the Twister...

Did you know that I loveeeeeeee adventure...and the extent of my love for the most daring activities was always unknown to me...But by the Grace of God...or better I should say "by the Grace of Devil...ha !!!", I didn't have to live a hundred years to explore the "Limit of my Adventurous Heart..."... ME, the Ultimate Adventurous Heroine of the locality learnt a true lessons on "WHAT TO EXPECT and WHY NOT TO BOAST and HOW TO / NOT TO UNDERESTIMATE...."

The incident was a hilarious one for everybody else other than me and my Partner in Crime...lol!!!Today, it seems funny and knowingly / unknowingly a wicked smile do pass my lips...But that day....NOOOO...that day I was neither in the position to smile nor to cry...Neither could I react nor could I be calm...Because...I was just not on ground...I was on air...Even after hours of that experience, I still couldn't help myself from feeling that I was still on air...and feel as if I was being powdered in a Mixer...or was it as if being grinded in a Grinder...No...it was like being spinned inside a Waching Machine... Yes, thats the exact feeling...I was undergoing a Spinning treatment inside a Washing Machine and that too on HIGH speed...Gosh...How can I ever forget that day...

You have to take a big leap with me to the past to know what exactly happened that day...A leap of almost 14 -15 years back... I can, happily, call myself a young and daring friend to all and enemy to none....So this young Me, stepped into this world of fun and entertainment on that evening with my whole family...Yeah, that included my own family, my aunts, uncles and their families... So naturally, a small crowd stepped in with me to the Crime Area... The aim for the adults was pure shopping and the Fun Fair, the final destination, for the young 'KIDS' [I hate to call myself a kid...but even now (years after getting my voting power), I get side tracked by the older generation as a Kid...so, that day obviously I was a kid for them]... But as usual, we had to oblige and let the so called adults to have their own plate full of shopping, before we start on our fun at the Adventure ground....

You should keep in mind, that this is a story of years back..when the technology was not so hitech.. but still the games and adventure rides that filled the area was real treat to our eyes and heart....Me being the most Oversmart (uhmmm.....) among the lot, was literally running and excitedly expecting my parents to provide me with the money required for the tickets for every single rides and today I feel like comparing myself to a dog wagging his tail in front of every single food stall he pass by....lol!!!

Anyways, I treated myself with a number of rides, like the Giant Wheel, Toratora, Boat Ride etc, all of them was like right hand game for me...and just for the purpose of SHOW OFF, I started getting oversmart in front of all others - complaining the speed was not as good as expected... the ride was just OK OK... and not daring...and many such Overconfident statements ...STUPID ME....How I wish today, that I hadn't let my mouth open so boastfully that day... Atleast, the limit of embarassment would have been much much less than what I had faced that day...

So, once done with almost all the rides...suddenly we heard some people applausing and screaming, due excitement (which we realised much later, was not of excitement, but due fear...uhmm...)... Ahaa...there stands a small ride... something that looked like a Giant Wheel, but the diameter was much less than the Giant Wheel, also this one had closed compartments for the riders to sit...compartments that looked like an egg...and all those shouts were coming from inside those revolving eggs...I exclaimed...WOWWWWWWW....one more ride to go...but hey this seems really small compared to the Giant Wheel...still its ok..atleast its a ride...I started pulling on everybody to join me in that last one ride... Everybody was tired and none liked the tone of shouts they had from the riders inside the Eggs....Idiotic me couldnt actually distinguish that difference in tone...

Finally, I grabbed my aunt's hand, who is also an ardent fan of adventure rides...and we both stepped into the not so long queue to the ride entrance...The ride was called a TWISTER....little did we know, that theres gonna be a really wonderful twist in our 'adventure' life with that so called not so big ride...

Soon we boarded one compartment of the ride...we were as if sitting inside an egg with a belt fixed against our body to keep us from not moving..(much later I realised it was for us NOT TO FALL OFF)....Now what happened once the damn thing started moving was....Oh, lemme first explain to you how the ride works...The whole thing moves around like a Giant Wheel..but then while the big circle is moving, the egg like compartments too start revolving ... It starts rotating in its on position...First in a clockwise direction and then to the opposite direction...You can imagine the mental pressure (or maybe you might call it "HORROR") two little souls sitting inside was going through...

YES, we were trying hard to stay cool...but as the thing started gaining speed, we started screaming..not out of excitement..but for our life...because we were like two silly idiots dangling on a rope from a parachute and that too in an upside-down position...At one point we will moving head forward and down .... and the next moment you go all the way backward..and we were trying to hold on as much as possible due to the fear of falling off when we are upside down...uhm...FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF ADVENTURE RIDE LOVE....WE prayed and prayed..so that the thing comes to an end...

Finally, it slowly reduced its speed...and came to a halt...we couldnt even speak to each other as our teeth was jittering still...just couldn't hold the mouth to stay still...but between that, somehow we came to an agreement that we wouldn't let ourself tell the truth to the onlookers, our family, who was having all the fun standing outside and watching us...

We came out of that Stupid Egg and started walking towards Our Dear family...Oh, how happy we was to see them...To be frank, we couldnt even keep one step forward without feeling that shiver on our leg...we were literally swaying to and fro like a leaf ina tree during heavy wind...We reached our family and started exclaiming, "Oh, wow, what a ride..so nice...really enjoyed..." etc etc...They all started laughing...and finally my mom said..."Don't bother yourself by telling all these lies...It's clearly written on your face HOW GREAT AN EXPERIENCE you had...both of your eyes are all red and your face look white and pale...you can't even stand straight..and still you want us to believe you loved this one...?"... You can imagine the embarassment we had to face...for weeks, we had to face the sarcastic taunts they showered us with, making fun of us / pulling our legs and top it up..mimicking us walking out from the Horrible Ride...especially I was the main PREY for them...as I was the main person who used to be too smart...uhmm...I deserve that...

Like a cherry on top of the icecream something horrible happened soon after this incident. Once done with the showers of poking my self esteem and confidence, my grandpa announced An Icecream Treat, in memory of my Twister trip...(remember, I haven't yet recovered from the shiver..), and there, near the food stalls, we met one of our neighbour's son and his friends... To my shock....that stupid suddenly asked me..."WE have one ticket for the TWISTER ride...After watching the people who were walking out of it, we didn't have that extra nerve to try it out...would you like to use this ticket, I know you love rides..."...trust me, he didn't know, what that TERROR RIDE had left me like....and his question was genuine...knowing my love for such rides he might have just thought that I would be more than happy to take those tickets for myself...

But I am sure you all can imagine my face then...especially when my family was having a good share of their laughs and giggles while explaining what happened just minutes before with me...

In the Air...On the Twister...

To Live....

Ha!!!…from morning, I was really feeling like jotting down something or other…for TP…and surprisingly today my mind was blank…I had literally NOTHING in my mind to talk about…Me who never finds a shortage of topics to talk on, argue on…today felt, I was empty…Surprisingly, I remember not a single dream I had last night …That’s not Me…Silly me, I need to find something to bore you guys with…else its not Me…

Anyways. after the battle for survival...getting back to normality was a bit difficult...especially for me…maybe because I really started taking things too personally...at heart...You know what, the more I try to be the, so called, "PRACTICAL TODAYS HUMAN BEING"...the more I turn out to be a an EI…obviously an Emotional Idiot...somehow, I can't resist these drops of salty water that start dripping every now & then making myself feel so ODD…uh???? They are nothing else other than the TEARS…

Aha…Yes, I am gonna tell you some thoughts of mine about being an EI and Tears…Now, pleaseeeeeeeee…don’t expect me to explain to you the chemical name of Tears…uhmm…by the by...actually what does a Tear constitute of…Its salty in taste and watery…soo..?? Water is H2O…and salt is…??? Sulphuric acid??? Oopps…that would burn you off…then..??? oh yeah Sodium Chloride…(I just got confused with the ‘S’ in Sulphuric acid and Sodium Chloride, I suppose… ) Now STOP…what am I doing…??? Taking a Lecture on Chemistry …Hey, can one of you just kick my back the next time I move out of my normality…

SO what was I talking about Sodium Chloride…??? Uh??? No….Tears…Whenever I hear this word "Tears"…a line from one of my favourite song comes to my mind…the lyricist has very beautifully defined a Tear as “The honey pot that falls on the sand and breaks is called Tears…” but if we add up logical thinking with reality…how can that be…Tears taste salty and honey taste sweet… For the time being, you can also be another EI and just take the beautiful part of the lyrics…Tears are honeypots… Beautiful, right?

Basically I am a very practical and logical person (atleast that’s what people who interact with me say)… But still I get really emotional on the most craziest / silliest instance..and at those moments I hate myself to be an EI… Else I am fine with this title of being an EI…there’s nothing wrong in that, there is??? Let me tell you friends, I do feel stupid when I shed those tears in front of the Teleivision on some stupid serial or reality show....But still I feel I am much better off crying out the pressure that build up within me, than holding those tears back and there by making myself frustrated…

I would, at this point, like to let myself preach you people…Don’t worry, I have Practiced before Preaching…

When you feel like crying, cry it out...shed your tears…wet your tissues…But at the end, never forget to bring back your smile…Because if you fail there, frustration walks in and that makes you lose the energy to Live…I believe, in this world of diversity, to live is to survive…to survive, you need to fight….fight the Battle of Life… and in this battlefield the most dangerous weapon that can bruise and kill you will be your own tears…Let the tears bruise you…let them make you strong enough to face more wounds…and not lie down and wait for the final defeat…

"To emerge as survivors…face the tears, embrace them, accept them but don’t let them overpower you…but make them your strength…your strength to move forward to victory…"

For me, I follow that ideology… I cry…and those very tears are my strength to smile... to fight to go forward… to face my life…to LIVE….

Survival of the Luckiest

Uhm... Another day is done with..Yes, thats the exact thing that can be said to explain the day TODAY.... What was expected and What happened...Is this just another dream, a night mare..or just another imagination...It might take some time to accept the fact that we are turning into Singluar forms from the once plural form...uhm...If I start explaining "the day Today..." I might end up with lots of sighs and uhmms...but I need to take in the truth...Yes, it happened... something that atleast I never expected. I am sure, you are all completely confused with what ever I am saying..but the truth is, I myself is confused...What is this...What is happening...It's not true, is it???

My yester night closed with lot of fears and apprehensions of what is going to happen today... My day today started with a shivering leg walking towards my destination with a heart filled with just "thomps and domps..."..Yes, my heart was fast beating as moments passed by... Now I feel, the best weapon to kill a person without blood will be Rumours and Gossips... They are strong enough to entertain you, scare you, hurt you...rumours that make you smile might bring tears to someone somewhere else...The one I heard yesterday was a confusing one..Should I smile or Should I cry..or Should I just wait for what's the truth...I opted for the third option...Waited for the truth, but ofcourse with a heavy war happening inside my heart...The war between the optimism and pessimism inside me...

Anyways, I am at my here and time passed by... and then I heard... The rumour was true...but what I heard was not complete...I wish, it stayed so..but No...it came out as reality...in front of my eyes...It happened. Soon I was left behind with tears in my eyes parting good byes to some of those with whom I spend most of my day..they were not family, but they were like a family...they were not my friends, but they were like one...and now, they were no longer there... they were not dead..but ofcourse, their absence left a dead feeling in us...What was it, that happened...

The Battle for Living...The Survival of Fittest... all these are very common phrases that prevails in our day to day life...Today, I witnessed something like that... but here, I saw a new phenomena.."Survival of the Luckiest".(atleast thats how I felt about the whole thing)... the lucky me survived today... but my eyes filled up seeing the "unlucky" fellows saying Good Bye...I never wanted this...Ofcourse, I always wished I survive...I never wished I survive and others don't...It's always better to survive with your fellow beings, even if you love being alone...uhm...and here I am confused...Should I smile that I survived this time...(never know what's tomorrow..but still..) Should I cry that we are getting more small in size after this day... Unity is Strength...but if there's none to unite, then???? or Should I worry expecting the same might happen to me too, some day...or Should I just hope optimistically, that this might be last of it...I am confused...I am... or rather We all are... as now I feel, we are left behind at a battlefield with the motto "All for yourself"... You fight or you die...But fight against what...Fight against our Luck????

Anyways, it's already past...No one can change it...I made up my mind and my heart to believe that all that happened was destined to happen... In this world, there are lots of battles to be fought... and soon you will emerge as winners elsewhere... and there you will be the most luckiest person, the Survivor... I will surely miss those parted ways today, but my prayers will be with each one of you for a wonderful life ahead...

And for you readers, who are still confused...I am sure who you started reading this blog with a clear mind would be staring at the screen with a lost mind now...Let me just put my whole blog in one sentence...

I just survived a 'Head Cut-Down' , an outcome of the most dreaded/hated Word in this todays world ... "RECESSION"...For this time, I won the game of "Survival of the Luckiest"...

Years back...

What do you think that grows with every moment...what is it that can fly any distance without getting exhausted....what is it that can make you smile and cry at the same time...???

For me, I feel, it is our Memories...because, even dreams fade with an open eyes...imaginations walks off with moment of reality...hopes fade with the truth...But then, Our Memories...they never stop their journey...with every seconds that pass in our life, we get a hundred new things to stack away into our heart, our brain...they form the Memories of our Life...

At times, I get so mused with the way, within seconds my present tense becomes the past tense adding a lot more into my Memory Bag...I can still feel, the shiver that went pass through me when I had to jam onto the brakes today morning, when I saw someone driving so lost about to cross me..(lol..maybe he felt, he had to reach his destination before me...)...whatever...but, now it's just a memory...then why am I still feeling that shiver...why are my hands cold with the very thought of the moment I pressed my foot against that brake pad...(Gosh...if I had missed that one moment, I myself would have been a Memory now...lol!!!but that's not funny...uhmm!!!)Anyways, let me come back to the point...So that is what I call "Travelling to the Past in the Present"... Trust me, you don't need a Time Machine for that...Just give yourself a second and Vrooooooom, there you are....

That's me... I travel so much with my memories...They seem to be the best friend you can have...they can make you smile..make you cry..make you bitter...make you sweet...and what not...

Today, my memories took me almost 10 years back...this is the day, when a new page of my life was Titled....this day might not be a prominent day of my life, but ofcourse it was the starting point for a very life changing phase ... a phase which started off with smiles turned to tears and ended up in a determination...What was the final outcome???I can never name the "change" that phase has brought in me...A positive one or a negative...???Maybe, a mixture of both... Whatever... it did bring in a big change in me...a "New Me" was born ...

So when my memories took me to that day..years back...I felt like sharing it with an important character of that "phase of my life.."... just to know, what would be the reaction when I take him with me, not one or two years back, but 10 long years...lol...he doesn't even remember what is today...but still, he got shocked to realise, its 10 long years past that day...he felt, "it was just a few days back"...uhmm...

So that is the best about memories...It can take you miles and miles and still you might not feel exhausted travelling all that distance..especially when you are saving your time, by travelling all that distance in a jiffy...

So guys, try taking a trip in your personal Time Machine today...and see what Roller Coaster experience you get with that moments of journey to your Past that was your Present once....

Me too...

At last....me tooo....!!! Into this world of bloggers...

Blogs were always fun for me...or maybe TP...lol..time pass, of course!!!...and I always used to think...I NEED TO write too...but then...about what???haa!!!thats the point where I get stuck...What will I write about...this thought took me all this way till today...

Today...whts so special about today??...by the by, whats today...October 13th???...Ha, isn't #13 considered the unlucky number...gosh!!! Naaaahhh!!! Lucky or unlucky...I have started my blog today and there's nothing special today...it's been just like any other day. But, today, suddenly, due some strange reason some old memories travelled through my thoughts...Some long lost friends...or maybe some long lost "Maybe Friends"...then I tried searching for some news on them through all the blog sites...and I failed to find them...So???what to do next...Aha...Why not I start blogging...

Again..the same old thought...About What...For What..??? This time, I made up my mind...I am not blogging for anybody else..Just like how I am scribbling now, I will just put in anything that I wish..anything my fingers type in...Anything or Everything..I want...all for me...Just for me...and only me...

So here I am...this whole blog....

Jzt 4 me....

NB: If you are passing by my blogs...ever happened to read my thoughts...Please...please remember these pages are all my own thoughts...You are always welcome to share yours with mine.same as I am sharing mine with you...but never ask me to change mine...nor shall I ask you to change yours...Bcoz ...after all...its Jzt for me...