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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Can you lend me some Money???

Its been long time I couldn’t get myself to jot down something on my blog…felt really lazy and above that exhausted and sleepy…At work place – things weren’t hectic…rather had a slow paced week…but then ‘the after-work hours’ and the week ends just drilled out all the energy I had in my mind and body….haaaaaaa….I AM TIRED…

House Shifting…Yeah…after hunting the whole place down…finally I ended up liking one apartment that suited the budget, facilities, traffic and location…the rent was FINE when compared to many others…but it didn’t take much time for me to realize all those Hidden Expenses that came along with this PLANNING OF SHIFTING…Deposits, Commissions, Electricity, Water, Municipality and so onnnnnnn….the list was tooo long that I myself lost track…Thus went down the drains my ONLY ONE RESOLUTION for this year…

Yeah, at heart, I had one BIG resolution for this year… I would save half of my salary every month and by the end of the year, I will be equipped with enough money to start up on my long cherished dream of owning my DREAM HOME…Its just the end of the first month, I am already over with my salary remaining + I had to borrow money from my friend….Great…the best way to start a new month, a new year…this is why they say…”Never count the chickens before the eggs are hatched…”..uhmm…

Good for ME that my friend had that extra amount with him to lend me…Bad for him that No longer does he have that extra money with him…bcoz I borrowed it…lol!!! Happily I took it…Sadly he gave it…and now he has to wait sadly for me to return it…and then one day, Sadly I have to return it… so , right?

Along with this discussion of money, he told me an interesting story…about one of his friend…I felt the story was cool…but the HERO of the story - a Rascal…haha!!! So the story goes on like this …

This friend of my friend is a high profile professional gentleman…a big amount gets debited to his account from his company every month end as salary… still…this guy is in need of money…Always… He used to borrow money from my friend every month and then return it regularly…and then borrow again…this was more like a routine on a regular basis…My friend too happily gave him the money as the Gentleman never made a default in paying back…. “What harm in helping a Friend in Need…” my friend (might have) thought…

One fine evening, it so happened that this Gentleman and my friend sat together to have a peg…lol!!! (this proves why you are not supposed to drink with friends if you have secrets to hold on to…lol!!!)… They had some rounds of drinks…and soon my friend was shocked to hear a sudden revelation from the Gentleman…My friend had to literally open his mouth in awe…

Ha…!!! So what actually happened was…In the intoxicated state the “Gentleman” blurt
ed out that as soon as the salary gets debited, he withdraws the whole amount and transfer it to a different personal account as a saving. For his expenses, he borrows from my friend and then later returns it by borrowing the amount from another friend. Then he takes money from my friend again to pay back the other friend…This cycle of 'rolling money' has been going on for quite some time now…

After narrating this to me, my friend breathed out a heavy sigh…“Uhhh...Am I not an idiot…I was helping a Friend in Need…and he turned out to be INDEEEEEEEEED a FRIEND…He is saving money and WHAT DOES HE THINK… I DON’T NEED TO SAVE…”…

At heart, I said, “You should have asked that to him…by the by, why did you say this story now…I didn’t borrow to roll over the money…I took it for genuine reasons…TRUST ME…”… But then I said nothing…I just giggled…had a hearty laugh…imagined a cartoon picturisation of my friend listening to the Gentleman’s version of Money Rolling…

By the by….Now, I need to return my friend’s money…ASAP

“Can one of you lend me some money….?”

Saturday, January 23, 2010

"Operation Pyscho Deletion"

I was in the second year of my college…One of my cousin’s best friend was in love with a girl who was living next door to his Hostel…He used to see her daily as she take her bus to the college …She never used to raise her head on the roads… she was kind to poor people who approached her but never approached anyone...never had a smile on her face…but still he fell in love with her…as she studied in my college I was forced to meet her and let her know that 'Somebody Loves her'...I was quite popular among students in my college and that made it easier for me to barge into her class one afternoon…as if to just say a Hai-Bye to the girls…

One such afternoon, I purposefully started off a conversation with her…She didn’t talk much…rather she just gave me a smile…Something in me said, that I shouldn’t be just blurting out to her about my mission…We met every afternoon during lunch breaks…and we just talked and talked and talked…rather I talked and she listened…I KNEW, there was something in her that made her not to talk...and some sorrow filled her eyes…I never asked her…what was it that bothered her…but I felt, it could be something really bad, bcoz I could recognize the pain in her eyes…I wasn’t a stranger to that face…I had gone through such faces in my own life…I had seen the same face in my own reflection on the mirror…I knew, I wouldn’t hurt her by prodding into her privacy…

One day, she opened herself up…I listened to her…with pain in my heart and shock in my face…I was not hearing something new…still I listened to her…I could very well understand what she had gone through and how hard would it be for her to even smile…after all that she had gone through…I was a victim myself…and how I brought the smile in me…ONLY I know…

She was abused…abused by her mother’s relative…her mother’s favourite relative…she was tied down on to her own bed and assaulted...sexually, physically and mentally…not once or twice…but at many different instances…she became a toy in that psycho’s hand…he found excitement in hurting her…he flaunted her body…he played with her emotions…he slapped and kicked her…he hurt her…he never entered her…instead he preferred displaying himself off to her and shag on her…she HAD to keep her eyes open, else he threatened to drop the candle wax on to her eyes, instead of her body…

With horror, I saw the burns she had on her neck and hands due to candle wax…I saw that psycho’s teeth marks on her…I was seeing the terror in her eyes as she explained what she had gone through…and how she had to live each day, fearing what would happen the next day…But she thanked god, atleast he never entered her…Maybe, that was the only reason that I could sit with her that day and hear her traumas….else, she would have committed suicide long back…

She could never tell anybody…as she had a sister and the man threatened that he would do the same with her sister if she opened her mouth…she felt that her mother had some relation with this man other than what they saw…that made it worse for her to tell her experience to her mother…She wished she had a brother who could help her…but she didn’t…and she wanted nothing to happen to her sister…She kept quiet…she faced the horror, every time he decided to hurt her…

She sobbed…she cried…I was watching her helplessly…I didn’t know, what to do…as usual, I wished IF I COULD KILL HIM…but by then I knew, if I could, there were hundreds of such psychos in this world who deserved to be dead by now…With experience, I knew, that she had to pull herself up…She had to fight back…She had to turn the pack of cards on her favour…else he would go on playing with her life…She HAD TO PUT A STOP TO HIS ACT…

Emotionally and mentally, I gave her the strength…I promised her my full support…I made her believe in herself…How I did that, I still don’t know… but today I realize, that day, I behaved as if I was twice older than my real age…She promised me that she will raise his voice against his evil acts…I made her promise me to let me know, the next time he was anywhere near her house…I had made decisions to make this pervert realize his mistake..or maybe his CRIME…

At heart, I knew…she wouldn’t be able to fight this battle alone…she needed help…and without her knowledge, I had made arrangements for that too…uhmmm…I told all the issues to my cousin and I requested him to let his friend also know all this…bcoz I needed both their helps to tackle this man…They both agreed and promised to help me in putting that psycho in his space…Sitting at home, I know, I could do NOTHING…atleast I could motivate them…and I DID…I had planned a whole operation to delete him from my friend's life..."Operation Psycho Deletion..."

The next time this man rang her house bell, she called me on my phone…She was all set to fight him…I asked her to be calm…and wait for a surprise…and my next call was to my cousin…and what happened after that is History… My cousin, along with some of his friends from the hostel rushed to her house, pulled the man by his neck and took him back to their hostel room…All that I know more about this is, he had a very good set of bashes and in my cousin’s words, “He would think twice to even touch himself after today…”…lol!!!

Operation Pyshco Deletion was a success...after that day, he was never seen anywhere near her house…She told me, how her mother was interrogating her…to know if she had anything to do with what the “Boys Next Door” did to her relative…it seems her mother seemed obviously upset…For the first time, I saw a glow in my friend’s eyes…I saw her smiling…and laughing…she was laughing out loud when she was describing how the psycho was dragged out by the boys…she was feeling bad that she couldn’t entertain her eyes with the treatment the boys gave the psycho…lol!!! Finally, I was happy for her...I knew, it would be a start of a new future in her life....

By the by…What I relish most out of this experience is the comedy part of the whole story…if u remember, I met this girl to propose to her my cousin’s best friend’s love…but, with the final happenings, she was soooooooooooooooo much in regards to every single person who was in that gang to help her…that she claimed to me that “I had always prayed to god, IF AND ONLY IF I HAD A BROTHER….Now I am soooooooooooooo happy that god gave me not one but seven brothers…bcoz only a brother could help me so much in my life…Please thank your cousin and his friends that this little sister will always have all respect and regards for them for saving my life…They will always be in my heart and prayers as my own BROTHERS” ...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Son, Can I have a lift...

The Hill Resort was just a few kilometers from the city limit…still it took a lot of planning for him and his friends to finally decide to set out on the Trip to the Resort in their bikes…He was on the second year of his college and the idea of a bike trip to the mountain was in his mind from some three months or so…Finally, it was fixed that they would all meet up the next day, early morning before 6 at the Main Bus stop…as planned, the next day, the boy reached the Bus stop by 5.30 early morning…It was still dark…and cold…he waited for more than 15-20 minutes and none of his friends turned up...much irritated, by 0600am, he kick started his bike to go back home to get his sleep…Just then he heard a voice…He turned to see an old man walking towards him…

Old Man: Son, Where are you going…
Boy: Uncle I am going towards the Church road…You need any help..
Old Man: Boy, I have been waiting here for long time for a bus and I need to urgently reach the Hospital near Church Road…Can you please drop me there…
Boy: Sure Uncle…Please climb back…


And so the ride started…the boy was continuously talking to the man…and he answered some questions as if he was not interested and soon he didn’t bother to answer also…The boy guessed, maybe he is not interested in a conversation…and they went on…Soon they reached the Hospital Entrance…the boy stopped the bike and said, “Uncle, here is your place…Please get down…”..Hearing no response, he turned… All he saw was the old man getting vaporized and disappearing into thin air…He was dead struck…

Soon he heard from his friends that few months back, at the same place where this boy picked the man, i.e. at the bus stop… “An Old man had died in a Bike accident when he was travelling with his teenage grand son”…and it is believed that the Old man still asks for lifts from Teenage boys in that area….

Soon this horrific experience found it’s way to the ears to all the college mates…most of the young boys were scared to even go near that bus stop during odd hours of the day...and ofcourse never with their bikes…

One day, a boy had some urgent issue and he HAD to go to that bus stop early morning to pick one of his friend…He was scared from head to toe and with prayers he waited for his friend…Suddenly he heard some one asking him… “Hey Son, Can you drop me at the Hospital near Church Road..”…Terrified to hell, he didn’t even turn to see who it was…He just started his bike and shooted his way off from that nasty place…and soon he reached his house…and he braked and stopped his bike…

He got down from his bike and was just about to put it on the stand, when he heard “Son, Thank you for the lift….” and all he saw was a distorted figure vanishing into the air…

The boy fainted…


(Ghosts Stories…my all time favorite… not that I was a fearless girl…but then I loved to listen to such stories with much excitement…I loved watching horror movies even when my heart was thumping against my chest as if it might come out any moment…I loved reading horror books and share them with friends…all in all…I was an ardent fan of Ghost stories…(as far as I don’t have a face to face experience with Ghosts, I am fine, I Suppose…) The above is one such story I heard from my cousins years back...Maybe I was just 10years or so...my cousin claim that this had happened to his friend in real life…God knows if he or his friend was bluffing…Anyways...I wouldn't myself ever go anywhere near that Bus Stop...lol!!! by the by, the picture above is only for illustration and my imagination of how it would have been...)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Be My Friend...

Except for few, none of my friends know, that I have started blogging…Just for the reason, that I had so much to say…and I just wanted to say it aloud…and still be safe inside my cocoon…I was not ready to fly into the air with my thoughts free…I didn’t mind people reading what I had to say…but I didn’t wanted them to know who I was… so till date, I wrote each posts of my blog secretly…I never told my mom that I was sharing my life with the world…I never told my aunt that I was venting out my memories…I never told my brother that he too played a role in my stories…I never told my dad that there was yet a lot to come…I never told my partner that there were still more secrets to be unraveled… I didn’t wanted to think twice before typing each of my posts…I never wanted to hurt anybody…anybody who cared for me…

As and when days passed, I started meeting new people…people who lived at some part of this world…who had similar experiences…who liked my posts…who was bored with my long posts…and so onn….I was earning new relations…what can I call such relations…Virtual Friends? Invisible Supporters? I don’t know…But I know, somewhere far away from where I am right now, there are people who share my feelings through my blogs…who feel open enough to comment…to give their views…to express their opinions…and I felt happy…their comments brought in a smile in me…

At the same time, I never knew that I was just about to learn the realities of life…I was just about to know the world more…more than any WORLD NEWS could give…because, like me there were millions of others who were opening themselves up through this medium…as I started going through their life stories, I felt my eyes were opening from a deep sleep…I started feeling for them…I started imagining, IF I WAS IN HER PLACE…then??? I don’t even want to know the answer…bcoz I know; it would have been the end of my world…thus it brought in a tear in my eyes...Trust me friends, by writing a blog, I had instances of smiling, crying, sympathising and above all even getting really angry / agitated...Be it a virtual one, still I would want to let you know...

"Today, I want to thank all of you who took that extra time to drop in some comments that encouraged me to write more…
Today, I want to thank all of you who are visit my blog with an interest to come back tomorrow to see if I have dropped in anything new…
Today, I want to thank all of you who are following my blog which shows their smiling names on my blog, every time I log in…
Today, I want to thank all of you who shared their posts with me and made me a part of their life...
Today, I want to thank all of you who have responded to my comments to their posts…
Today, I want to thank all of you who discussed about me to your friends…
Today, I want to thank all of you who bonded with me in this short span of time…"


I love you all…I know, lots of miles to walk...and all I want to say is...
Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead…
Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow…
Walk beside me and be my friend…
Friends for ever…

Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Blind Eye to Injustice...

DOWRY...quoting from Wikipedia…“A dowry (also known as trousseau or tocher or, in Latin, dos) is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage”…even though dowry is a criminal offense, the practice of giving and taking dowry still prevails in my home country…the dowry came in forms of gold, vehicles, money, property etc according to the demands of the groom or his family…uhmm…I myself have seen people bargaining as if they were buying a cow from the market… “Our son will marry your daughter if you give 100sovereign gold, one car and 2 lakhs in cash…” Haaaaaaaaa!!! What a dirty practice… there have been very regular cases of abuses of the bride at her husband’s house if the dowry was not properly given…Ok , now that’s a very serious issue on which I wouldn’t want to have a discussion now…but the story I am going to say here is very short and simple…

This might seem funny for us…but what might have gone through the people who had to face this situation is something we can never even imagine…This is not one of my personal experience…but a real life incident happened in a village area, where my father grew up…I heard this story when once my grandmom was quoting this incident to some one while they were having a discussion on Dowry…

This happened in the backdrop of a village on top of a mountain…around the 70’s…. I was not even born then, so naturally I couldn’t witness this incident myself…There was a poor farmer in my grandmom’s village who had three daughters…after exhaustive extensive search, finally they found a suitable groom for the elder daughter…(suitable here should mean a groom whose demand was the most feasible than a whole lot…) THE DEAL WAS FIXED…(that’s what I would like to explain it as…)…the marriage was fixed once it was promised that the father will give a fixed amount as cash and gold and a part of his land property….anyways…after much prayers of the girl’s parents, the marriage was solemnized…the bride and groom left for the boy’s house…

Now back home, there is a post-marriage custom where the bride’s family would visit the Bride’s New House (that is the groom’s house)…this ritual is usually done on the same day or the next day…and it is expected that the bride’s family should take with them some gifts tooooooo (after all the expenses for the marriage this just added to the financial liabilities)…What ever…. The girl’s family was happy that atleast one of their daughter got married…and they set out for their daughter’s new house…they reached the place and was just about to step into the house…and….

Ahaaa…there…on the walls of the house…right near the front door…hung some gold ornaments…they recognized the ornaments...they were the very ornaments their daughter wore for the marriage the earlier day…the father of the bride started sweating…he knew, his worst nightmare was about to start…he was going to get insulted sooner than he expected….

Now what happened was…the father couldn’t arrange enough gold as he had promised the groom’s family… to avoid the marriage getting called off, the father bought some artificial ornaments…which looked like gold but was not gold in real…he calculation was to exchange them with real gold as soon as he could arrange enough money to buy them…But, unfortunately… the groom’s family was cunning enough…the very night of the girl’s marriage, she was asked to remove the ornaments and give it to her mother-in-law…and then they checked with a goldsmith if the ornaments equated to the amount the girl’s father promised…and naturally, they found out the truth…

For the girl, that night was worse than words could explain and surely did her family too went through lot of insult and harsh words… and above all, they refused to accept the girl anymore…they ordered the girl’s family to take their daughter back with them…

What happened after this to the girl or his family is still unknown to me… but I remember, those days, when I heard this story from my granny, I was laughing…laughing on the thought of seeing the ornaments hanging on the wall…I was more attracted to the embarrassment the family might have gone thru…as if it was some sort of a prank...I couldn't understand the pain or sorrow, they could have gone through…

Today, I am grown up…I realise what the girl might have suffered…especially in those days when GIRLS had no say to make any decisions on their own…what choice could she have had... all she would have done was cry in silence... could she ever go against everybody and fight back for the shame she was made to go through...I don't know...I wish and hope that if I could save atleast one girl from the evil pangs of this system called Dowry, then I would consider myself worthy enough to live in this world…and I really hope every man and woman stand up and raise their voice against this criminal offense and work towards eradicating this practice once and for all….

Always remember, by giving or taking Dowry, we are turning into criminals...we are just being another offender of rules and regulations...another law violater...we are giving nothing other than...

"A Blind Eye to this Injustice..."

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Answer Paper...

During school days…there were so many silly (atleast for me..) things that I just couldn’t agree to…One such aspect was EXAMS…and more than that the REPORT CARDS…a report card or a mark list was the most horrible thing I wished I never had to take home…especially if the numbers that was in it was not so biggggggg one…We used to have soo many subjects to learn like Mathematics, Science, English, Social Science etc etc…and this Stupid Card had a detailed list of the marks we scored in each subject…and if luck wasn’t with u, then the teachers would get the chance to decorate the Black and White Card with colours…that is, if you fail for one subject, they would draw a red line below that mark…Maybe this was the only place where I liked it Black & White...

My mom was a terror for me and brother during exams and days we get our report cards…I was considered the Intelligent Girl…for the same reason once my brother started the routine life of going to school and having exams and results, mom let me free…means, she didn’t have the time to spare to sit with me to teach me and prepare me for the exams…I HAD to do it myself…I WAS HAPPY….atleast, I was saved from the official thuds and pinches and slaps….(she had this peculiar habit of asking questions once she teach you something and I used to feel that she was POSSESSED by seeing the way she reacted when I couldn’t give the correct answer…) I thanked my brother at heart…bcoz of him I was saved from the pre-exam terror…So if I study well and do the exam well, I would be spared from the Post-exam terror too…I just needed to work hard and get good marks…or rather DECENT marks (and for her that meant above 90%...uhmmmm….)

But somebody else was cursing me then…that was my brother…leaving me on my own meant my mom had her complete time for my brother…so u can imagine the situation….to worsen things up…he was lazy and considered NOT SO STUDIOUS…where mom kept my Decent mark to be 90%, she just hoped my brother to get a 50% ATLEAST…so pre-exam days was the most horrible days for my bro and my mom too…she had to literally bang her own head on the walls trying to teach my bro and making him study them without forgetting them...atleast until he finished his exams…

My mom didn’t leave us free even after the exam…UNTIL, she sees our question papers and make sure that we have done our exams properly…once we reach home after exams, she would sit with the question paper and start asking us the answers…we had to recite the answers we have written…not to forget, she even asked us to write the answers on question paper…so that we didn’t have to recite them…she would read the questions and answers from the question paper and would have a rough idea of how much mark we would score…she didn’t care much about me, as she trusted me to score high…but with my bro, she prayed hard, that he doesn’t fail…. many a times, we had tried many plans to outdo atleast the post-exam terror, by telling, we lost the question paper...nothing ever worked…some how she used to manage to get a spare question paper…God knows how…

That year, I was in the 4th grade and my bro in the 2nd… that is, I was 9 and my bro 7 years old…we came after our Second term exams (exams before the Xmas holidays)…she saw my question paper and I had done the exam pretty well…she was happy…with shivering hands she started going thru my bro’s paper…he had English exam… there was not a single question which she hasn’t taught her… from the first question ‘The vowels of English alphabets are ____’ to the last question ‘Write five lines on - The Cow - ’…my brother was cool in answering every single question…My mom, for the first time in history had a breath of relief…She sighed, “Ha, this time, he wouldn’t fail…and he would be getting good marks too….even if there are spelling mistakes, still he would surely pass…”…for the first time, she was cool and didn’t wait for the results to come…she knew, this time, the result for the English paper is going to be great…

My mom was in for a shock when the results came…my brother had a red line below his English marks…where she expected to see a minimum of 20 out of 50; she saw a 5½. / 50…She was thunderstruck…she knew there was some mistake some where…Maybe the teacher didn’t correct the answer paper correctly…She was angry, bcoz she knew her son had done the exams so well…She rushed to the school, met the teacher and DEMANDED a JUSTIFICATION for the marks…She challenged that there was some terrible mistake…The teacher smiled…She gave mom my brother English Answer Paper…My mom couldn’t believe her eyes…(if you wanna see them urself, pls click on the below images for Page 1 and 2)....



The teacher just had the most easiest answer paper to evaluate...

What happened to my bro after this is History...

GOD BLESS HIM!!!

Monday, January 11, 2010

You Deserve a Hug...


I knew this world was not that beautiful as it looked…even the most beautiful house did have some dark stories to tell…even the most beautiful relation had their own dark moments…even the most beautiful girl had her own sorrows…but still, I always used to ask God, why ME???... for the problems that I had faced or is facing in my life, I used to ask God… What did I do for all this???

As I grew from a kid to adult, I started seeing “PROBLEMS” in its real self…with time, I felt, what I faced before was not at all a problem, what I am facing now is the real stuff…and maybe the very next moment I had a different opinion…So as the intensity of problems grew, my outlook on my earlier problems got lighter and thus my ability to face them got stronger…

Many of my friends used to approach me to discuss their problems, just bcoz they felt that I had the ability to give a proper solution to any of their issues…they trusted me to be with them anytime they needed me…and I always proved them right…by always trying my best to help them in any way I can…when I started hearing their laments, I started thinking, “Oh God, compared to this my life was sooo better…I had loving parents, loving family, food and shelter…and just some dark experiences made me hate my life soo much???? I hated the least discrimination done to me and I never realised they were done just due to concern…” . Thus experiences I heard from my friend’s life was added on to the 'more pathetic' list of problems…

But today…today I realize, even they faced NOTHING in this world…they were much more blessed than millions of other people…today, I read a real life experience of a sweet lady…how as a child, she was abused by her own mother and step father…what I read brought tears into my eyes…my heart was overwhelming with frustration, helplessness, sorrow…Here I was questioning God for the many occasions of abuse, where I could atleast save myself…and there a girl was suffering alone...not even able to save herself…none to help her…none to speak to…nowhere to hide…I was devastated, reading just few pages of her life…I wished I could kill that man who couldn’t differentiate between a daughter and a sexual object…I felt like slapping that mother’s face who never could understand her daughter’s heart… I felt like hugging that small girl and tell her, “Dear, I am there for you…I will protect you from all evils…”…I wish…

Today, that girl is a grown up woman…she is trying hard to bring together all her courage and strength and fight against such evils of the world…Sitting at this end of the world, I really ed her to know...

“Dear, I might sound stupid…as part of the society I live, I know I can’t change things in one day…I hate being discriminated as a girl…I hate myself being bound by the rules of this world…I hate myself being tied up in so many Do’s and Don’ts… I hate all the regulations that this society I live has imposed on me, where I doesn’t have the freedom to just come to you and give you a hug and comfort you with all the love I have…but please trust me, I Promie you, Where ever I am, I would always keep my eyes open for the least amount of abuse…With all strength, I would fight the injustice …With all heart, I would help the affected soul…If not today, some day, I would take that extra step to go out into this society to help those who need the little help I can offer…and I hope, that some day, we see a world where not another soul suffer in silence…some day we meet so that I can give you that hug you deserve…”

Saturday, January 9, 2010

My Dear 'Little' Aunt...

The mind is calm and cool today…but suddenly I am missing her…for no reason, suddenly my memory took me to many occasions when she stood up for me…with a happy heart, I am reminiscing those days when she used to give me that support I required during the most toughest of times…physically she was far away most of the time…but emotionally, she was always around me…I know that she’s just a phone call away…She was and is my dear little Aunt…

(Uhmm…I am sure the phrase LITTLE is going to irritate her…but dear aunt, what to do…we shouldn't be forgetting the fact that you are short…hahah!!!)

Anyways, let me continue…through my life, one thing, I would never deny…how much ever, you say u can be on ur own, still u need atleast one person to give you that extra hand of support…you can fight a whole battle…only if U have atleast one person with u…and that one person in my life was my aunt…she was more like a friend to me…whenever I used to get upset, I used to a letter to her…a long long letter…wherein I poured all my complaints and sorrows and happiness… my aunt was my support… bcoz…she was the one person who could ever tell openly in front of everybody… “Dear, don’t worry…what ever happen..ur aunt is with u…What ever u do, I will support u…bcoz I know, u will never do anything wrong…”… this is what I always wished for…the day my aunt said this…I was overwhelmed… tears of happiness filled my eyes…I felt strong…I knew, I had something to fall upon…

The strength of our relation grew as time passed…we played different roles in our relation…when I was upset, I was a kid to her and she consoled and comforted me…when she was upset, I would be the big mamma and give her the support she needed…we became jokers to bring that smile in each other’s face…we became the back bones to support each other...we shared our deepest secrets… we were the best of friends…we were philosophers and advisors to each other…

You know what...for all the praises I have for her...her kids might not approve of everything...bcoz as per them, my aunt can get worser than a tornado when she is angry...and I am sure, they envy me for the relation I and my aunt share...lol!!! but what to do...I love that...Let me just stop going on and on about how I love getting pampered by my aunt even at this age...But I would really like to share one small conversation that happened a few years back between her and her son...lol!!!

Now the situation was...there was some misunderstanding between me and her son...(point to be noted is, her son is some 12 years younger to me...he was more like a son to me than my brother..he too loves me a lot..but that particular day, basically he was angry and we had a fight that ended up in an argument...finally my aunt intervened...and she just exploded...I did try stopping her, but she made me keep quiet too..and she continued...without her knowledge I recorded some bit of her conversation in my mobile...and the following is what I caught on the mobile...

"If ever speak a word like u said today..against her..I will break your bones..and I am serious...Pls control ur tongue...You know when I get angry, how nasty I can be...If you have a problem, please go to the toilet and talk as much as u want in there...In front of me, u will not utter a word about her...I have told u earlier also...she is much more worthier than 10 sons put together...and I have told you this before also...and she's much older than u...and I will not tolerate anybody commenting about her...I don't like it...What ever it is... I will not take it...I will tell her many things..that is another thing..."

(U might see me as a Villain in her son's life in this conversation...finding happiness in scolding him...NO... he's also my sweetie pie...we fight, still we love each other a lottttttt...soon after the above conversation, me and my bro was back together...I feel sad when he's being scolded...I approve of only the feeling behind her scolding...not the scoldings...uhmmm)

But then, I am sure, now you all understood, why I am so attached to her...Its all bcoz of the trust she has in me and her love for me...For all that she gave me and did for me, I love her a lot…I would always want her to be happy and stay young as ever….(I am sure, shes going to be happy with this one wish of mine….) She was and is the coolest aunt anybody could have….Only thing is that…Never start arguing with her…bcoz she’s more dangerous than me….

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

That Day made me Strong...

It was summer vacation for us…that day, the results for the final exams were published and I was promoted to fourth grade…time was somewhere near 2.30 in the afternoon…mom was all set to get her afternoon nap…and the whole locality was actually fixed up in front of the television sets…after all, there was LIVE telecast of Olympics on TV… I was getting bored…I announced, I am going to my neighbor’s house to play with my friend M...As I ran out, I could hear mom saying, “Come back soon…and behave properly at her house..” Ha…typical mother…

Outside the house, the whole city seemed silent…the roads were empty…was Olympics that big thing to watch…uhmmm…??? Soon, I was playing with M… what were we playing???…I don’t remember…but I still remember that I was standing at her door step…with one leg on the third step and the other on the bottom step…she was sitting on the fourth step…Suddenly, I heard somebody…I turned to the gates and saw a stranger…I walked towards ,asked him…

Me: U calling ME???
Stranger: Yes, dear…you are staying here, right???
Me: Noooooo, I am staying next door…
Stranger: Your father working abroad, right??? Ha, what was his nameee…I just missed it from my mind…Dear, what was it…
Me: Uncle, do you know my dad…? He is no longer working abroad… But, right now he’s not at home… He’s gone out to meet one of his friend…
Stranger: Oh dear, he’s back in town…I came looking for him only…Can you take me home…?? I will wait for him…
Me: Ohhh, no problem…I will..

And to my friend I shouted back, “M, I will be back soon…let me take uncle home…”

As we walked out, he said, “Dear, I want to see one more friend before we go to your house.. Will you come with me..?”… Stupid me agreed without thinking twice…We walked and walked and walked…he had his left hand over my shoulder…He asked me, “How old are you ??” and happily I answered “I am 7 yrs old, uncle…my birthday I coming in another three months…. we will have a birthday party on that day…” and thus went on with the conversation…He kept on asking me questions and I kept on answering them…It was quite some time later that I noticed, we have been walking for a long time and still no signs of this 'So called friend’s house'…I asked him, “Uncle, where is your friend's house…”… He said, “It’s some where here, I am also trying to find his house…Do you know this area?”…I was sure of my reply… "NO…I have never been to this place before…mom never allow me to go anywhere alone…” He smiled and we made another turn on the road…and then he announced, “Hey that is the house…”

We reached the gates of the house and tried opening the door… I pointed out to him, that the gates were locked…Suddenly he exclaimed, “Oh not this one, that is the one…” and we walked towards the next house…Seeing a signboard saying ‘Beware of Dogs’, he said, “Not this one…it’s the other one at the end of this road…”… By this time, a fear crossed my heart…I remembered my mom once reading out the newspaper about ‘Strangers coming in White Ambassador cars and kidnapping children…’..To worsen my fear, I saw a white car at the other end of the road… without showing my fear out, I calmly told him, “Uncle, mom might be looking for me… Can we go back..”…He said, “Just this house and then we will go back.”… I was scared as we approached the white car…but as feared he didn’t push me into it

We walked past it and soon opened the gates of a house … it had red colour paint on it’s walls…A flash of peace passed my mind, as I recognized the house…atleast I knew the old lady who stayed in that house… I have met her many times at the temple…and once while passing by in my dad’s car I have even seen her going into this house… As soon as he opened the gates of the door, I shouted… "Grannyyyyy….” What happened next was something I never expected….The ‘so called uncle’ suddenly covered my mouth with his right hand and grabbed me and took me to the back side of the house… I was shocked…Because what he did next was “something I couldn’t understand…”…He pulled me against him and started rubbing himself onto me…one of his hand was pressed against my neck and I was choking…I was getting hurt…I couldn’t even scream for help…tears rolled down my eyes…in between this push and pull situation, his hand got loosened from my neck for a split second and I ran to the front of the house screaming, “Grannyyyyy…” But he came behind me and covered my mouth again and pulled me again to the backyard…He was desperately trying to press his body against me and with his hands trying to touch my body… I thought, I was going to be killed…I couldn’t understand what exactly he was trying to do…but, what ever he was trying t do, it was hurting me…I tried resisting him with all energy I had…I was trying to loose myself from his grip…I wanted to atleast open my mouth and scream for help…Then, he started pulling on my dress to tear it open…at that one moment, I got MY TIME…the first chance I got, I bit his hand and screamed for Help and started running

I reached the front door…He came behind me and again caught me… But that moment, I heard her…it was like the sound of an angel who came to save me…I heard the old lady’s voice, “WHO ARE YOU…WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HER…”…He was shocked…he took his hands off me and I just dashed out and ran…I still doesn’t know, how I reached my house… I hid beneath my bed…I couldn’t breath…I was crying or rather was trying hard to hold on from letting any noise of mine…I feared he might come back searching for me…I was TERRIFIED….I closed my eyes…

After almost an hour, I was calm…I went to my mom…She saw me and she knew something was wrong…She asked me what happened, “Did you cry…”.. I said, “Mom, I think I was kidnapped…”…Mom thought I was joking…she scolded me for saying such stupid things… I asked her to go to that old lady’s house and ask her…I was also wondering, why the old lady come and inform my mom about what happened… My mom, immediately called the lady…then only I realized, that afterall, what would that old lady know..she just saw this man and me at her door step and saw me running…as per her, ‘When she asked him who he was and what he was doing with me, he said it seems, he came to meet some Police officer and I was just showing him the way to the house….'…In her words, “He then rushed out and was soon gone…”…

Mom, then asked me what had actually happened…I couldn’t explain to her what exactly happened…I was even scared to cry…It was concluded that, “some stranger was trying to take me to some deserted house and rob off the gold neck chain and bangles I was wearing then…”…Mom consoled me and also warned me never to go with any stranger ever…

Years later, when I was matured enough to know the realty of world…I understood, what exactly had happened to me…I realized his intention was not to steal but to harass me sexually…I could never tell my parents that the "Stranger was not just a Thief…but a Pedophile…”… Even today, whenever I think of the day, a cold shiver passes through my body

What IF he had used chloroform and made me unconscious???
What IF I hadn’t got that ONE split second to bite his hand???
What IF he had taken me to some house where nobody lived???
What IF I didn’t know that old lady in the house???
What IF I couldn’t scream and shout for help???
What IF he had succeeded in his attempt???

But let me tell you… for days and months, I was completely shattered by the memories of that man…But, soon I pulled up my strength together…I decided to face the truth…and I DID…courageously, I prepared myself to face the world boldly and fight the evil… I never did let another stranger take that extra step that could destroy my life….It made me keep my eyes open to recognize any such evil act around…be it with me or anybody else…

That day made me STRONG

Friday, January 1, 2010

My Partner in the Crime...

Happy New Year....

May God bless you with all happiness and success he can shower upon you...On this day, I have decided to share with you some good thoughts... Something that added into my life's "Book of Do's and Dont's"... something that added onto my virtues to grow into a better human being...

Do you steal??? Have you ever stolen anything from your own home??? Have you stolen MONEY from under your parents’ eyes??? I have…but couldn’t pursue my higher studies in mastering the art of stealing…lol!!! It is a story…and here it is…

I was some 5 or 6 years old…and my brother two years younger to me… that year, we both got enrolled into the same convent school… myself being the big sister was cool at the new school…but my brother who was going to a school for the first time, soon started hating it…more than any reason, he didn’t want to go anywhere, where his mom was not present…He was (and still is…grrrr…) a Mamma’s boy….Daily morning, it was a heartbreaking scene to see him screaming and crying when being dropped at his classroom…(afterall, he was just between 3-4 years)… seeing him crying used to make me also upset…

Soon, I had an idea to stop him from crying...Give him sweets…he loved sweets…if you give him sweets, he would stop crying (every afternoon, they used to sell sweets at my school… and my all time favorite was the orange toffee) but then, to buy sweets, you need money… and during those days there was no such phrase called “POCKET MONEY” in my house…we, children, got anything and everything that we wished for from our parents…but we were not allowed to keep money or buy things on our own… to eat sweets on a daily basis was considered NOT GOOD FOR HEALTH by MOM (how weird…) Without money, how could I buy sweets for my brother…I started using my brains…how can I get some money… uhhmm…???

During those days, my mom had this practice of maintaining a Piggy Bank…this piggy bank was kept in her room to build in some “Money Saving” nature in her children… If ever we got any money from anywhere, we were supposed to put the coins into that piggy bank…to increase the spirit, she herself used to gift both of us children with 50paise or 1 Rupee coins to remit into the so called Piggy Bank…(here, it was a powder tin with a narrow opening, which mom had cut out with knife, at the bottom of it…)..She used to motivate us to follow this practice and had promised that once the tin is full, she will open it and divide and gift the money equally to me and my brother, so that we can buy what ever we wish for….

Thinking of the Piggy Bank, I finalized on a fool proof idea to get the money required for the sweets…STEAL… steal the money you want…from the piggy bank…moreover, you doesn’t have to worry that mom would know about it… My partner in crime was my own brother… Very innocently I told him my plan and soon I started pulling out the coins from the small opening on the Talcum Powder tins…the denomination of coins that came out depended on our luck and on that luck depended the number of sweets we could buy that day… I started going to school with this money and buy sweets daily in the afternoon…give some to my brother and eat some myself...days when I got more money, I started sharing sweets with my friends too… I started acting like a big girl, to be on my own and having money to buy sweets and offering it to my brother and friends…my friends used to adore me for giving them sweets daily…uhmmmm….I WAS GREATTTTTTT…

But…all that happiness didn’t stay long…One fine day, I and my brother had a fight on some silly matter…my brother was on fault…and so naturally, mom scolded him…I was happy…He got punishment for his mistake…but then…the most terrible thing happened….Something that I never imagined…something that I never thought would happen…My brother…my little brother…my three year old brother…blurted out… “Mommmmmmmm, why u scolding only me…u should scold sis also… she takes money from the piggy bank daily and buy sweets…You scold her also…”…

I was shocked…yet I could see my mom was Dead Struck…She stood as if she couldn’t believe what she just heard…She asked, “What???”….and within no time, my dear brother presented the detailed story board of how the crime took place and how I walked around in the school with sweets in my hands and offering it to kids who begged for sweets… I felt as if the earth was moving off from below my feet…I just remember mom asking me if what she heard was true and myself trying to mutter some reply…

What followed was a small action movie… literally and physically, she was blasting me out…I screamed and cried…I pleaded for forgiveness…After the initial explosion, maybe she realized, she was over reacting (only I know, she wasn’t..uhmmm)…She took me to her side…calmly she explained how bad stealing was…and why one shouldn’t do it…and if not anybody, but still god was watching all that I was doing…and so on…I cried…I felt bad for what I did…I repented…I apologized and promised never to repeat my mistake…She kissed me and said she has forgiven me…

Be it the hard way, still I learnt the biggest lesson of my life… * Stealing is NO good…Work hard for your needs…Trying to steal it from somebody is equivalent to stealing your own self esteem * … and always remember … "The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child..."

Between, wouldn’t you like to know what happened to my dearrrrrrr brother…uhmmm…when I heard him blurting out the truth, I had felt like killing him… but, soon I was smiling…BECAUSE…he too got a share of the initial explosion that I got from mom…afterall…He was

“My Partner in the Crime…”