Innocence…one thing that makes me still believe that this world is not all that bad…every time I go down in my mood swings…there is this one thing that raise my spirit up. After all, he is the purpose of my life today. One person, I have taken for granted…My sweetheart, my little son who is no longer little but is slowly growing up into a handsome boy…
The way he behave, at times I feel he is too immature. And some other times, his in-depth analysis of certain subjects really surprise me off. And these days, I am very seriously trying to control my behaviour towards him or rather trying to stop taking him for granted. Showing my frustration to him and not able to control my temper is taking me through a very bad guilt trip…
After all, he is that gem of a person who has wiped my tears and said, “Amma, don’t worry… don’t cry…I am with you na…I will never leave you. So don’t cry…Smileee”… When I was mourning appup’s sudden demise, the way he tried handling me was so overwhelming. “Amma, don’t be sad. Whenever you feel like sleeping on appupa’s lap, you can lie down on my lap and think it is appuppas. I can hug you so much that you will not miss appuppa. Don’t be sad Amma. Otherwise, appuppa will also be sad.”
How can a 8 year old boy say such things? I have wondered. Does he even realise the intensity of the words he speak? I have wondered. Can he be so matured to behave as if he is not my son, but my father? I have wondered.
The other day, I was back home after the farewell party for my boss. Somehow, I never enjoy Indian food from a five star restaurant. As they tend to literally kill the authentic Indian taste to match the spice/taste quotients of all the other nationalities. How can you have a Kadai Chicken immersed in sweetness. All the curries looked same with loads of tomato puree. Anyways, the food didn’t matter much then. The whole team being together to bid goodbye to our boss was the moment.
Anyways, at home, everybody wanted to know how the exotic restaurant that I had my evening. As expected, I let out my exasperation on spending 1000s for an Indian dinner which didn’t even soothe my taste buds..hehe!! As always, my son was the last one with his questions.
“Amma, how was your evening?"
“Good Baby, but I did not enjoy the food much.”
“Ohhh, so how much was the bill.” (Maybe, he overheard me getting ouwww over the huge bill)
“That was huge sweetheart. It was around XXXX.”
“OMG,” his usual self, “Ammaaaa, that is biggggg amount. Why did you waste so much money?”
“Baby, company paid for it, not me.”
“Still Amma. Why? You could have just given that money to your boss.”
“Yes Amma, you could have just given it to your boss. Poor man, he doesnot have a job now. Atleast he could use that money to buy food for his child.”
I was bursting with laughter. “Ohooo, baby…he already got a job. He will not be poor, don’t worry. What you said is true, we should not have wasted so much money. But still, he is not poor and he will have money for his child.”
“Ohhhhhh, Okkkkkkk… hmmmm…”, he was not completely convinced, I knew it.
“Still Amma, still you could have just given the money to him. Atleast he would have bought some gift for his child at the airport when he go to his country.”Hahahahaha…he had his point…
Bless you, baby!!!