My thoughts, my emotions, my feelings, my imaginations, my opinions, my fears, my dreams...

Could be yours too...you never know!!!


Follow me in this Journey of Revelation and encourage me with your valuable opinions and comments...

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

I am Me...

Woke up to a dozen forward messages on my WhatsApp wishing happy women’s day… More wishes on calls and thousands on Facebook… My morning actually went off in deleting and responding to most of these messages. Though, personally, I never liked wishing a Women’s day to anybody, I returned the courtesy people showed to me by wishing me. The rebel in me, as always, was boiling up. Sometimes, these silly things would blow my patience out and I start talking about the topic thru my eyes.

Women’s day … Wonder why this day was coined so and what was the real motive. As Wikipedia says, it was to commemorate the movement for women’s rights. Movements happened and is still happening, but what change has it made on a Woman, an average woman. Yes, it made changes, I wouldn’t deny it. But nothing had changed still, to a big amount of people around the world, especially the Asian sector. Women still gets beaten up, denied basic rights, abused and harassed and above everything is demeaned and treated as if she is NOT entitled to any Self-Respect.

Wishing and celebrating a day without any meaning; is this what a woman want? As I was going through the different colourful Women’s day images, remembered vaguely something that I had seen last year. In that, a man is dragging a woman by her hair with a caption, “Okay, Women’s day is over, You can go back to your kitchen.” Isn’t this the mentality of the majority we see. I agree, today’s women have progressed a lot above this. But, an average Asian woman like me, who grew up in an orthodox family has seen only the other side more.

Grew up listening to HOW a woman should behave, adjust, sacrifice…how she should be a good daughter, sister, student, wife, mother etc…But how many of us remember that to start with…SHE IS A WOMAN…a human being who would have her own wishes, dreams, aspirations…How many of you make sure that the women in your life is happy and content with what you are doing / not doing for them? How many of you feel that the women in your home should live and die happily and not unhappy and frustrated?

I am often misunderstood as a feminist just bcoz I don’t follow the norms that a woman is expected to follow. To love, respect, serve and sacrifice – COME WHAT MAY… I am not a feminist. I am not a man-hater. Neither I proclaim to be treated equally or be given more considerations. It’s just that I decided to tweak the norm in my way. “I love and respect men who loves and respects me…Men who believe in Give and Take…That’s all.” I am neither god nor an angel to forgive and forget and just go on giving just because I AM A WOMAN…And I realise this raises hundreds of brows around me and instigates advices / suggestions and lectures on Womanhood…

But today, instead of following a formality to wish fellow women…I would like to remind you that unless you are happy, you can never keep people around you happy…A safety warning in the aircraft says, first assist yourself and then assist your neighbour…Then, why in real life, it’s expected that the woman takes care of everybody else before herself.

“Be Happy, Do things that will keep you happy… Love yourself and spread Love… Enjoy your life and let others enjoy too…and treat yourself as an individual human being who has an equal chance to live this life happily, after all, there is only one life and live it to the fullest…Say to yourself, you are a woman with the right to be who you are… and not what others want u to be…”

As for me, remember, I love you, if you love me…and I hate you if you hate me…and trust me, I am absolutely fine if you hate me as it wouldn’t make it any difficult or contribute to my existence…I know, I know, I am very cheeky. But what to do…

I am Me…

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Not my time...


When it comes to working in a multinational company, people tend to face silly stupid instances in their life… I myself started my career in a completely diverse environment. Thankfully, I coped well. But then, things wouldn’t be as easy always. Many a times, I would listen to my boss and then wonder, what exactly he wants. I would end up either doing some goof-ups or shamelessly declare, I have NO idea on whatever he asked for….

She too was new to this multi-national culture. Coming from a small village in India, this foreign country had many surprise elements to bewilder her…Many a times, she would sadly look around not knowing what to do. ‘How to prove herself’ … was always the question…She made sure to be “always ready” to do all the tasks assigned to her…flawlessly…

That was exactly the reason why she rushed to get a table for 4 for Friday evening for her boss and friends to have Tea. When we want a tea; we would either make it ourself and drink or just pop by Pappu Chaiwaala and get a Karak tea…These high profile executives had style in everything. ‘To go for a tea, her boss wanted to book a table and arrange everything, one week in advance,’ she wondered. But, here, her boss has clearly asked her to “Book tea time for 4 at JG Club for Friday” and without any further questions, she will ensure he will have a remarkable evening.

Called up the JG Club hotel; personally spoke to Restaurant Manager and made sure the table is reserved.  She made it clear to them on how her boss would like the snacks and tea prepared. Afterall, she knew her boss well. A day before the D-day; being pro-active, she called up the hotel to confirm all arrangements were made properly and she was relieved. She was proud to have done a good job.

Just when her boss was leaving for the day, she reminded him…

“Boss, you tea time is confirmed.”
“Ok, good. Have you made sure its for 4.”
“Yes, Boss. Everything is set as per your taste.”
“Taste? What taste? By the by, which course was booked?
“Boss, since it is tea time, they will serve snacks or appetizers. But if you are planning for the dinner too, I can check on their set menu courses”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“About your table for 4 tomorrow at XX Hotel. It is booked for 4pm now. Unless you want it later in the day”
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT DID YOU BOOK? I ASKED FOR TEE TIME…T E E and not T E A.”
“T E E? What cuisine is that Boss?”
“Oh, Come-on. I asked to block a Tee time at the Golf Course tomorrow for me and my friends and you went on to book Chai for me? How crazy can you be?”
Golf? Tee? Hmm…?” She could utter not a word more. As clearly, she knew nothing about golf; forget Tee time… as her eyes went blank…She vaguely heard her boss laughing out…

“Hey, Paul. Did you hear this? I asked this girl to book for a tee-time and she went and booked a table for 4 to have Tea…”

Ok, now thank god. I am a joker now, but atleast not a jobless one…He has not lost his cool, yet. 'But? Now? What the hell is this? TEE time?', she wondered, What ever it is...she knew one thing for sure...

Not my time...

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Mission Bucket List...


Recently, while having a very jovial conversation with someone very close to heart…happened to start on the topic of wishes that he was yet to fulfil. Literally, he had his own bucket list ready for the future. I was amazed. Wow, a bucket of wishes… and a strong heart to make sure that they are all made reality. He said, “Everybody has wishes. I too have. Not so big or unreal, but yes I have one.”
 
I wanted to know them…after all, bucket list…the not so big list started rolling out and my eyes literally popped out. For sure, not unreal, but the list was long…and he was calling it not so big…I joked and made fun of it… But, I knew, if he had those, he will do it too. But amidst all the jokes, deep inside thoughts had already started rolling down…I was trying to think, what was my bucket list…
 
I was going blank… It was the same feeling when I was trying to master the art of Meditation. I always felt, I would never be able to meditate as I had a mind that kept flying off to the most unexpected routes. Still, that day, I had decided to try my luck at a session of meditation. When the instructor asked all of us to close our eyes and think of a happy moment; I SIMPLY went blank…
 
I kept thinking and I could not actually think of anything except the moment on the labour room when my little baby was placed against my chest as soon as he was out in the world… So, I ended up thinking of all those moments with him…His smile, his pranks etc as my happy moments… But, SERIOUSLY??? Am I so thankless that I was not happy with anything…
 
Ok, keeping off the thankless part…and going back to the main thing. My loved one has promised that he can help me in fulfilling my bucket list…But for that, I should first have one. So I need to make one. Soon…So next mission is to rack my brain. Go through all nook and corners of my memories. I might also need to sit for a one-on-one session with my heart and actually understand many things…
 
Now, this has got me thinking...I think I would need to put down some criterions to set this list up… 
  • Crazy Dreams...
  • Childhood fantasies…
  • Happiness quotient…
  • Romantic Memories…
  • Get-Back Times…
  • Share to care moments…
  • Adventurous Adrenaline Rushes…
Wow, that’s cool …to have my own bucket list… So, dear bucket list, here I am embarking on a new mission…to put it down…for good or for bad…for real or for dream…for life or for hibernation…I am gonna put it down…
 
Mission Bucket List…

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Bless you, baby...


Innocence…one thing that makes me still believe that this world is not all that bad…every time I go down in my mood swings…there is this one thing that raise my spirit up. After all, he is the purpose of my life today. One person, I have taken for granted…My sweetheart, my little son who is no longer little but is slowly growing up into a handsome boy…

The way he behave, at times I feel he is too immature. And some other times, his in-depth analysis of certain subjects really surprise me off. And these days, I am very seriously trying to control my behaviour towards him or rather trying to stop taking him for granted. Showing my frustration to him and not able to control my temper is taking me through a very bad guilt trip…

After all, he is that gem of a person who has wiped my tears and said, “Amma, don’t worry… don’t cry…I am with you na…I will never leave you. So don’t cry…Smileee”… When I was mourning appup’s sudden demise, the way he tried handling me was so overwhelming. “Amma, don’t be sad. Whenever you feel like sleeping on appupa’s lap, you can lie down on my lap and think it is appuppas. I can hug you so much that you will not miss appuppa. Don’t be sad Amma. Otherwise, appuppa will also be sad.”

How can a 8 year old boy say such things? I have wondered. Does he even realise the intensity of the words he speak? I have wondered. Can he be so matured to behave as if he is not my son, but my father? I have wondered.

The other day, I was back home after the farewell party for my boss. Somehow, I never enjoy Indian food from a five star restaurant. As they tend to literally kill the authentic Indian taste to match the spice/taste quotients of all the other nationalities. How can you have a Kadai Chicken immersed in sweetness. All the curries looked same with loads of tomato puree. Anyways, the food didn’t matter much then. The whole team being together to bid goodbye to our boss was the moment.

Anyways, at home, everybody wanted to know how the exotic restaurant that I had my evening. As expected, I let out my exasperation on spending 1000s for an Indian dinner which didn’t even soothe my taste buds..hehe!! As always, my son was the last one with his questions.

“Amma, how was your evening?"

“Good Baby, but I did not enjoy the food much.”

“Ohhh, so how much was the bill.” (Maybe, he overheard me getting ouwww over the huge bill)

“That was huge sweetheart. It was around XXXX.”

“OMG,” his usual self, “Ammaaaa, that is biggggg amount. Why did you waste so much money?”

“Baby, company paid for it, not me.”

“Still Amma. Why? You could have just given that money to your boss.”

“WHAT?”

“Yes Amma, you could have just given it to your boss. Poor man, he doesnot have a job now. Atleast he could use that money to buy food for his child.”

I was bursting with laughter. “Ohooo, baby…he already got a job. He will not be poor, don’t worry. What you said is true, we should not have wasted so much money. But still, he is not poor and he will have money for his child.”

“Ohhhhhh, Okkkkkkk… hmmmm…”, he was not completely convinced, I knew it.

“Still Amma, still you could have just given the money to him. Atleast he would have bought some gift for his child at the airport when he go to his country.”
Hahahahaha…he had his point…

Bless you, baby!!!