A Friend in a Stranger...

A very small phase of my life from the past, but…it was years later (rather too late) that I realized how big a part that phase was inmy life…The Phase of Love…yes, its true…Love, even if it is in the minutest form, would always be large enough to make an inerasable mark in ones life…

Those were days when the person who I thought was my best friend had broken my trust putting me in a dilemma with many questions… “Should we trust anybody ever…Are friends for real…” etc etc…I needed something to ward my mind off…THAT SOMETHING which I did for fun got me a stranger as friend…FRIEND?

A stranger for a friend..???uhm...Was I back to my self??? NOPE…this time I am not going to trust anybody…and let them take me for granted…I decided…”I am going to be rough and tough…If the so called friend ever try to break my trust, I would do that to him before he even think of doing it to me…”… Thus I was cautious…

From words to voice…that’s how we came to know each other…Our common interest, MUSIC… all that we discussed was music…we used to exchange lyrics of songs…favorite songs…we even used to sing out loud….lol!!! We enjoyed every moment of it…atleast I was enjoying…I was forgetting my pains…I was happy to have him as a friend…

Soon we both knew, that we were in love…both of us had learnt every bit of the other in the longest detail, and therefore, there was no fear of secrets...no fears of breaking the trust….but still there was one fear taunting me… “To love and get hurt” was the last thing I wanted…Some sixth sense said, YOU ARE GOING TO GET HURT… I was selfish…I was… I showed a new face…a face with no love…a face with no commitments…a face with nothing more than friendship…I shaped the whole thing into Infatuation…

With this infatuation, the uncertainty, the “so called friendship”….we met…with no commitments we spend long hours together…we were not sure of the future…but decided to cherish the present…we helped each other to forget our pasts…we stood by each other during many of those hard times…we cared for each other…together we warded off the loneliness we were feeling till then…each day, we loved each other (always hiding it in the mask of friendship) as if tomorrow would never come….

In his analysis, “he fell in love with me, not knowing that I could never love him…I was just concerned for him due to the friendship we shared…but still, he can never stop loving me… and he’s not expecting me to love him back…” I agreed to this analysis…When I smiled, he took it as ridiculing his feeling… When I kept quiet, he took it as I was offended…I agreed to all his assumptions…Bcoz, I knew that was the best for both of us… “Why burn yourself by jumping into fire, knowing it would hurt…”…I tried consoling myself…

Tomorrow brought out the harsh truth of life…we have to move apart…as always, even this we did together…we gave each other the courage…the advises…the strength…we parted ways…Even then, he blamed… “You are soo heartless…”..I smiled…because I knew, he never meant what he said…because he knew me…he knew both of our helplessness…Still we parted ways…with the promise of keeping our friendship always alive…He made another promise (even if he never said that, I knew it)… “He would never stop loving me…and would never care if I love him or not…His feelings for me would never change…”

Its years past now…as we promised, our friendship is still alive…we still give strength, courage, advises to each other…

What I still know is, “He still loves me a lot…and will never stop loving me…”

What he still doesn’t know is…, “How much have I cried on the nights when we walked the opposite direction…How hurt am I, even today, thinking of the day we parted...How hard I prayed for us to get the strength to go forward…How, I can never take him out my heart…ever…even if he still stays in my life as just a ‘so called friend’…How I can never disclose my love for this ‘Friend in a Stranger’….”