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Sunday, March 27, 2011

Marriage...??? Naaah!!!

Marriage was not my priority, EVER…infact, I was against the idea of getting married, when I actually got married…Unlike other girls from my family, I wasn’t roaming around with the billboard saying “Looking for a Groom”… The dark situations that me and my family had to cross was the reason behind that…I wanted to financially settle before getting into any bondage of marriage…Even when I realized, I was loving somebody, I stopped myself…trying to think PRACTICALLY…I knew, it wasn’t something that my closed ones would be happy about…Moreover, marriages were expensive and I didn’t want any extra expense because of me for my family…

But for some strange reason…That February…my mother suddenly had this enlightening thought, that I was getting really old…and its time, they should think about my marriage…Not much questions were asked to me..as they knew, my answer would be NO to a marriage…(the financial burden a marriage could cause + my secret love for my LOVE was the reason behind…)…. Mom was not bothered, if I like it or not..she was having this dream of seeing her daughter going to Sasural…Thus, during that short trip to home country, my mother advertised in the local Newspapers “Seeking good alliance from NRI boys for an NRI girl”…

The response shocked me…the telephone never stayed on its cradle those days…continuously…I saw my mom writing down details of the caller and asking many of them to send their Horoscopes to check for proper Horoscope match…I just ignored the whole stuff…as I was hoping that nothing work out…infact I prayed for the same…Neither could I hurt my mom by showing out my displeasure, nor could I do anything to calm my heart…When I saw, that some of the horoscopes were matching too, I knew, trouble was not far away…I immediately booked my flight back claiming I had to get back to work immediately….

But, what should happen, should happen and would happen on the right time…I had to face it…Thus, the very next week of my return flight…the first GENTLEMAN came home…THE OFFICIAL Bride & Groom Meeting…Lets name him XX…I wasn’t asked by anyone for any opinion…I was just told Mr. XX is coming on Friday to see you…From tit bits of my mom’s conversation, I understood this guy is a General Manager at some company and is also pursuing his MBA from Australian University…I even got to see his picture…Gosh, the first statement that came to my mouth was…he looked like a WHITE COCKROACH….I immediately told mom…”NO, THIS GUY IS NOT FOR ME…"

He was handsome…very very fair…(hey, I am wheatish in complexion…and If I marry him, we would never be a good match to watch…He was not so tall in appearance…when I was real tall…he was more to the plumper side while I was the extreme Thin side…On the whole, I knew we were NOT A MATCH)…. To be frank, apart from the looks, I knew, be it him or anybody else…I might not be able to accept it with full heart…bcoz….

Anyways…finally…on Friday, Mr. XX came home, with his sister and family…(He had seen my picture and liked me too much…So if nothing else went wrong, this proposal could be fixed…) I sat in my room, till I was asked to go out and meet them…It was weird for me…As I was doing something completely against my wish…But, I couldn’t show my displeasure, bcoz that would hurt my family…I could hurt myself, but not them… I was asked to take him to my bedroom and have some talk….The only time, I might get to talk openly, before the elders decide what to be done…I made him sit on a Chair and I sat on the bed…facing each other…we started…rather he started…

Mr. XX – I am XX, working at XXX…U r working at ___ right???

Me – Yes…as a ____...

(Mr. XX continued with some Blah blah on himself and stuff…and finally shot the question I was waiting for…)

Mr.XX - Do you have anything to ask me or tell me…

Me - Yes…Let me be open…I really doesn’t wanna get married…But I am doing it for my parents…as they wanna see me married…But, there r some things u should know…My father had so many financial issues in the past and I decided to support him…So if I get married, I DON’T WANT my husband to stop me from doing the same…So, if I get married to you…I would expect, u should know this…

(and so I continued…clearly letting him know that I AM NOT READY FOR A MARRIAGE….)

He was taken aback, I knew from his face…(He was disappointed and depressed from what I knew, when his parents spoke to my family later)…He gave me a lecture on family and stuff…and tried putting some light into my head…into my disregard for marriage…He asked me to be Positive and hope everything will be alright with time…and so on….

Anyways…he left…and when I openly told my parents what I spoke to him, they knew, this marriage is not going to happen…What followed was a downpour...from all sides of my family...I wasnt physically abused...but that was all that was remaining...other than that, none of relatives lost a minute in scolding me for my Loose Talk...I felt sad, when I realised none really wanted to understand me or...My mom knew me, but she knew, she wouldnt be able to help...

What ever...still I knew it...I won…I won the first battle...I was victorious in chasing out the prospective groom...My family still jokingly say...not even a grass would grow on the road through where that Boy ran....I had scared him that horribly...lol!!!What ever...I was happy...I won....


BUT…

11 comments:

Bikramjit said...

ok BUT what :) tell tell bolo bolo looking forward to the next BUT post..

Parents are always worried and you did the right thing I am sure your parents agreee with you now ..

Bikram's

Jzt4me said...

@ Bikram

BUT...in the Lord's words...Sambavami Yuge Yuge...Whatever has to happen - will happen - when it has to happen...

I won that day...but...

Anonymous said...

BUT, you got married. You got completely flattered by the new groom and couldnt resist an 'YES'.

Right? We all lose to someone finally.

KParthasarathi said...

You took a practical decison bearing in mind the financial situation then obtaining and was frank with the guy.Had he said never mind, we will together manage but marry me,it wld hv tested you.
In such matters hindsight never helps.There is no point in looking back.But what comes out of the post is you are a determined girl out to achieve what you wanted.

Jzt4me said...

@ Anonymous

What if I say, it was the other way round...Would you belive if I say, the new groom was too flattered by me, that No rude or harsh comments of mine really affected him...All he wanted to get married to me!!!

How about that option...

Jzt4me said...

@ Dost

U r partly right..I am a determined girl...but not so determined that I achieve everything I want...But atleast I am determined enough to try my level best to keep my parents happy...

True, if that guy didnt mind the financial part, maybe I would have been married to him...Bcoz I had no more reasons to cut him off...and even if I had, it wouldnt have been taken into consideration...As my family follows a very old tradition...where a woman's life is decided by her father and not her...hmmm...

Rohini Prasanth said...

Oh J. I have had my share of such silly encounters. I wish they were as humorous as yours though. Like for instance, one such prospective groom spent a whole evening talking to me. But his mother vetoed the proposal without any reason. We wondered if she thought I hadn't spent enough time talking to her and her family. hahahha.. That I can never forget.
Marriage is complicated enough. Win the battle, lose the war or vice versa. It's always good to prioritise and deal with the important stuff first.
Good Read! :)

Chandrika Shubham said...

WHITE COCKROACH : :D

TTDBIS 6 and 7 are too good.

Best wishes. :)

Anonymous said...

You are lucky that the new groom accepted everything and still wanted to marry you. It does not happen that easily for everyone.

Tomz said...

White Cockroach..what a simile..and u scared him so bad..but however, it was a wise decision from ur side..and did u marry the same guy with whom u were in love?

Jzt4me said...

@ Ro

Vetoe u bcoz u dint talk much...Naaah!!!Maybe, she might have thought that u pocketed her son already and what will happen u both were married...she might have feared u might snatch her son away..hahah!!!

@ Chandrika

Lol..White cockroach is a saying in our language...for extremely fair people...which is not so common in our part of the world...hehe!!!

@Tomz

Didnt u read my TTDBIS list..See my wishes...to spend atleast one day with my lost love...Lost love means, already lost..I never married him...uhm...knew it always...

Married somebody else who accepted all my tantrums and even my past...uhm...