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Saturday, July 16, 2011

Door of Hope...

Ok…sooo…laziness is indeed a beautiful experience…uhmm..I think for past 2 months, I was popping out all of sudden and welcoming myself back…Sad part is not many actually noticed my absence…Many of u didn’t even wanted to double check if I was dead or still alive…hmm..maybe u knew it better…Thanks to those few who DID check my whereabouts…and was particularly concerned about my health..uhmm…I am hoping that now onwards I be able to continue normally..without any more laziness flowing into my senses…

Let me tell u guys…more than laziness, it was my peaceless mind that was initiating this long silence from my side…I who always loved to type long mails, felt soo disturbed that even an SMS was too much for me to type…Unanswered mails filled up my Inbox and Unattended duties overflowed into my consciousness… I knew, I wasn’t me…but somehow…even the strongest Rock can break at some point…uhm…Am I being too much by comparing myself to a Rock…Naaaahh!!!!

Anyways…days gone are gone… in between I been for a short vacation too…Yipeee, for my cousin’s marriage…Didn’t I tell u guys of my cousin who was getting married to a Northie…Cool…had a SUPERB marriage…Our Marriages are mainly rituals…so imagine, if adding to it, we followed all traditional rituals of North Indians too…Double Dhamaka…Still a regret…the days when I should have been open heartedly enjoying…I was actually in dilemma…hmm..

I could have very well called myself a Fire Cracker…Outside it was all colours and beautiful exploding out its beauty…Inside, it was all a burning…hmm…Yeah…reason being Uncertainity…as usual…Imagine, u find a door in front of you open for you...u know, it’s the door thru where u can escape ur sorrows…but then, as u approach it, u find urself entangled in some ropes and in that confusion, U feel the doors are closing slowly…Only if u release yourself from those ropes, can u reach the door before it gets completely closed…I was in somewhat similar situation….

I took my flight to my home country with such an entanglement in my heart and mind…Had NO idea what was going to happen to that New Hope…So naturally..amidst all the fun, my mind was restless and tensed and upset…I laughed and smiled and all of a sudden I would get gloomy at heart…tried hard not to show it out and spoil other’s mood too…Thus through out my vacation, I was like burning inside and glowing outside…hmm…

Again…past is past…today…I am near that door…Almost 99% of the trap beneath my feet is off me…I could slowly get up and walk towards that door…I feel I will be soon entering that door…Just a few more obstacles and I would be in there…where I feel I would be freed from all the tensions I have been going through the past years…where I could be myself…where I could have everything that I wished to have…where I could be happy and feel wanted…

Yes friends…Wish me luck…add me in your prayers…pray for me that all those optimistic feelings I have now would come true…Pray for me so that the Door be what I wish for…and Let not that door be another Trap…I am right there, just waiting for the last few steps to be taken…with a mixture of optimism and pessimism, here I am taking those steps…towards that door…

The Door of Hope…

3 comments:

KParthasarathi said...

I wish you Godspeed and good luck in all that you do.I am sure you would have carefully weighed the pros and cons before taking the seemingly momentous step.Best wishes.

Tomz said...

Hi J4n,

I was actually visiting u..because last time u wrote something abt me rite..

and dont worry, my prayers r with u..

Jzt4me said...

@ Dost

Yeah, thanks Dear...I need all the good luck and prayers...As of now, things r moving in the right direction...If everything goes well, next week this time, I would know exactly, if the step I had taken was Right or Wrong...lol!!!

@ Tomz

Hehe...Absolutely, last time, I had written that post after getting inspiration from your Spy work...lol!!!

Hey, thanks for visiting me, even if I was in a hibernation mode...and dont stop praying for me...Bcoz I feel, prayers can heal the worst of the pain and clear the biggest obstacles...