After reading Dost’s post on his blog - Valentine Soup…I made a comment where in I had asked a genuine doubt…Ok, now the post was a story about a girl who was in love with a colleague who was a fraud…Who was enjoying his life having affairs with girls and making them spend for his luxury… At the end of the story, the girl finds the truth about the Man through a friend, another colleague, who was also in a relation with the same man before…and the girl is playing a prank on the man…Tit for Tat…Good…
But then, my question was…WHY dint the friend never warned the Girl even when she knew the Girl was in love with this crooked man…To my question Dost replied so…” People do not divulge betrayals or rejections. They do not talk abt love affairs. Don't you think so”… This made me thinking…In this month of Love and Valentines…I suddenly thought…Wht would I have done in a similar situation…Suddenly, I remembered a past situation in my life…and then realized…What Dost said was the best to be followed…Better keep quiet…rather than getting involved and get hurt…
If you remember, not long back..I had told u the story of my friend…In one of the Part..I had mentioned about how I had warned her about the Boy’s nature and my assumption on whatever I had heard of him….I remember how she ignored my assumptions and how she ridiculed my way of thinking…Much later, when she went thru all those trouble that I had predicted before…she openly told me… “Dear, whenever u used to tell me so…I used to think…WHY U SAYING SO…afterall, Wont I also yearn for some love…and how can LOVE be a burden…I never understood when u told me…and so I almost stopped telling u details about my relation with him…”… I had warned her how dangerous can Possessiveness or Obsession in love can turn a person into… how the same love that brought her close to him could take her far away frm him…She never realized before it was too late…
Ok, then I realized…when somebody is in love…whatever we try putting into their head…IF IT IS NEGATIVE INFORMATION…nothing is gonna get into their head..instead, they will start thinking negative of urself…They could go to extends where they could imagine that U r jealous of them and that is why u r trying to take them out of the relation…ha…But then…what made me feel stupid was…WHY DINT I LEARN THIS LESSON MUCH BEFORE….afterall…this was not the first time, I was being penalized for the same error…uhmm…A bit into that past…
Years back…during my graduation…I was doing a 3 years diploma course in Multimedia and Web Designing along with my graduation…I found new 2 friends (Rags & Babs – names are imaginary) from those classroom…One a girl who was 2 years elder than me and the other who was 2 years younger than me…We three soon turned to be inseparable mates… We used to meet daily evening during classes and chat and have fun in the class...All three of us were very poor when we take out our purse…lol…there were days when none of us could spare even a 10bucks…haha!!!...still, as our friendship grew, we started reaching the classes much earlier than the class timing and then together we would rush to a nearby joint…Hot Breads….lol…
They had those yummy milkshakes, pastries, burgers and what not…and we had mostly holes in our purses… the best we could do mostly was… save on the 10-15Rs that one of the girl had, which she was to use for her Auto Rikshaw – the to and fro transportation charge from Home to Class…Instead, we took the risk of using my Kinetic, riding it in Triples…lol…Still remember, people’s eyes popping out when they see 3 GIRLS having triples…lol…we used to drop one person off as soon as we saw any Police Jeep’s head…heeh!!! And with this 10Rs that we save, we used to buy one Pastry and then used to sit with three spoons and sharing it btw ourselves…every evening atleast 1/2hr …was OUR TIME at Hotbreads…
Those days, one of the girl, Rags was in love with a boy…lol…this boy worked abroad…rather he worked in this country where I am now…Naturally, Rag had to dedicate more time Chatting with him at the internet café or speaking to him on the phone at the telephone Booths…that left me and Babs outside the Booth or the café…we spend those moments sharing our deep secrets…Babs knew almost everything about me…Trust me, those days, naturally, from heart…if u weigh you attachment to Rags and Babs…I was more attached to Babs…I never opened up much to Rags, as she had other things to worry concerning her love…Whatever…the Underlining part was BABS KNEW ME INSIDE OUT….
Years passed…I came to this country…met Rags boyfriend…soon Rags eloped with him to this country…hehe!!...Naturally, local calls were cheaper…I and Rags was in touch… Still, I kept close contacts with Babs too… During these days…Rags broke a news to me… that she heard a rumour from some other ex-classmate that Bab is getting engaged with one of our Instructor at the Computer Class….Rags said that everybody is gossiping back home that Babs and this Instructor were in Love… which was NOT TRUE…as we were sure about it… many friends from the class started contacting us and started filling us with more and more Gossips on this made-up love story
Finally, we decided to let Babs know about all this…Silly me…further to Rags persuasion I called Babs and informed her…I told her, how news was spreading so…and asked her to be careful…She pleaded Not guilty…and started feeling sad on WHY people r talking bad about her, when she knew nothing about it…uhmmm…I felt bad for her…Thus I ended the conversation consoling her…
After days…I got another SHOCKING news…Lol..this time…I WAS THE VILLAIN…grrr…Rags was laughing when she told me this news…Yeah, it was almost a joke…but then it hurt my inner feelings…
So, it so happened… that in real, this instructor "S" had some soft corner for Babs…so after the classess, his family approached Bab’s family for her hand in marriage…and thus their marriage was fixed…Naturally, when few knew about their marriage was on the talks, they might have assumed that it was a Love Marriage or maybe even the Guy might have had boasted among his friends to just show off that they were in love or smthing…Whatever…
Being from a really orthodox family…Babs came to know about her marriage only after the whole thing was fixed…At this point, Babs complained to her cousin, that there r such rumours spinning around and she is upset about it…Naturally, his cousin put forth a genuine concern… “Babs, why should Jzt say such things…she know u well…still why did she say so…What do u think…Did Jzt have any soft corner for S when u all were in the classes…Maybe, she is in love with that boy…and she doesn’t want u to marry him…So maybe she is trying to misguide u….”….
I wouldn’t have been hurt, if it was just a concern from Bab’s cousin…but then…Babs too at some point felt, Was there any truth in that… Even after knowing me inside out, she started wondering…and let Rags know… “Hey Rags do u think Jzt has some affection for S…”…. Rags who knew not even half of what Babs knew of me…gave a good piece of her mind to Babs for misunderstanding my intention…She even told her that it was she who asked me to called Babs…and explained how we came to know of the rumours and all…
Anyways…soon Babs got married…today she is a happily married wife and mother of 2 kids…Only after their marriage did Rags actually tell me these parts of the story…uhm…I was hurt…still hurt…When I met Babs after that, I did tell her openly that I was hurt..and she apologized…But…
The wound was already formed…how much ever medicine u put, the wound might heal…but some scars could never fade…This was a scar in our friendship…uhmm…
I realized a bitter truth…keep your head off when somebody is in love…as ur words could turn and bite you itself… as they say…LOVE IS BLIND and LOVERS ARE MORE BLIND… be it a truth that u r saying, u
nless they realize the truth their own way…ur words would never make them realize…So keep your advices to yourself…
“Keep your Mouth Shut…”
But then, my question was…WHY dint the friend never warned the Girl even when she knew the Girl was in love with this crooked man…To my question Dost replied so…” People do not divulge betrayals or rejections. They do not talk abt love affairs. Don't you think so”… This made me thinking…In this month of Love and Valentines…I suddenly thought…Wht would I have done in a similar situation…Suddenly, I remembered a past situation in my life…and then realized…What Dost said was the best to be followed…Better keep quiet…rather than getting involved and get hurt…
If you remember, not long back..I had told u the story of my friend…In one of the Part..I had mentioned about how I had warned her about the Boy’s nature and my assumption on whatever I had heard of him….I remember how she ignored my assumptions and how she ridiculed my way of thinking…Much later, when she went thru all those trouble that I had predicted before…she openly told me… “Dear, whenever u used to tell me so…I used to think…WHY U SAYING SO…afterall, Wont I also yearn for some love…and how can LOVE be a burden…I never understood when u told me…and so I almost stopped telling u details about my relation with him…”… I had warned her how dangerous can Possessiveness or Obsession in love can turn a person into… how the same love that brought her close to him could take her far away frm him…She never realized before it was too late…
Ok, then I realized…when somebody is in love…whatever we try putting into their head…IF IT IS NEGATIVE INFORMATION…nothing is gonna get into their head..instead, they will start thinking negative of urself…They could go to extends where they could imagine that U r jealous of them and that is why u r trying to take them out of the relation…ha…But then…what made me feel stupid was…WHY DINT I LEARN THIS LESSON MUCH BEFORE….afterall…this was not the first time, I was being penalized for the same error…uhmm…A bit into that past…
Years back…during my graduation…I was doing a 3 years diploma course in Multimedia and Web Designing along with my graduation…I found new 2 friends (Rags & Babs – names are imaginary) from those classroom…One a girl who was 2 years elder than me and the other who was 2 years younger than me…We three soon turned to be inseparable mates… We used to meet daily evening during classes and chat and have fun in the class...All three of us were very poor when we take out our purse…lol…there were days when none of us could spare even a 10bucks…haha!!!...still, as our friendship grew, we started reaching the classes much earlier than the class timing and then together we would rush to a nearby joint…Hot Breads….lol…
They had those yummy milkshakes, pastries, burgers and what not…and we had mostly holes in our purses… the best we could do mostly was… save on the 10-15Rs that one of the girl had, which she was to use for her Auto Rikshaw – the to and fro transportation charge from Home to Class…Instead, we took the risk of using my Kinetic, riding it in Triples…lol…Still remember, people’s eyes popping out when they see 3 GIRLS having triples…lol…we used to drop one person off as soon as we saw any Police Jeep’s head…heeh!!! And with this 10Rs that we save, we used to buy one Pastry and then used to sit with three spoons and sharing it btw ourselves…every evening atleast 1/2hr …was OUR TIME at Hotbreads…
Those days, one of the girl, Rags was in love with a boy…lol…this boy worked abroad…rather he worked in this country where I am now…Naturally, Rag had to dedicate more time Chatting with him at the internet café or speaking to him on the phone at the telephone Booths…that left me and Babs outside the Booth or the café…we spend those moments sharing our deep secrets…Babs knew almost everything about me…Trust me, those days, naturally, from heart…if u weigh you attachment to Rags and Babs…I was more attached to Babs…I never opened up much to Rags, as she had other things to worry concerning her love…Whatever…the Underlining part was BABS KNEW ME INSIDE OUT….
Years passed…I came to this country…met Rags boyfriend…soon Rags eloped with him to this country…hehe!!...Naturally, local calls were cheaper…I and Rags was in touch… Still, I kept close contacts with Babs too… During these days…Rags broke a news to me… that she heard a rumour from some other ex-classmate that Bab is getting engaged with one of our Instructor at the Computer Class….Rags said that everybody is gossiping back home that Babs and this Instructor were in Love… which was NOT TRUE…as we were sure about it… many friends from the class started contacting us and started filling us with more and more Gossips on this made-up love story
Finally, we decided to let Babs know about all this…Silly me…further to Rags persuasion I called Babs and informed her…I told her, how news was spreading so…and asked her to be careful…She pleaded Not guilty…and started feeling sad on WHY people r talking bad about her, when she knew nothing about it…uhmmm…I felt bad for her…Thus I ended the conversation consoling her…
After days…I got another SHOCKING news…Lol..this time…I WAS THE VILLAIN…grrr…Rags was laughing when she told me this news…Yeah, it was almost a joke…but then it hurt my inner feelings…
So, it so happened… that in real, this instructor "S" had some soft corner for Babs…so after the classess, his family approached Bab’s family for her hand in marriage…and thus their marriage was fixed…Naturally, when few knew about their marriage was on the talks, they might have assumed that it was a Love Marriage or maybe even the Guy might have had boasted among his friends to just show off that they were in love or smthing…Whatever…
Being from a really orthodox family…Babs came to know about her marriage only after the whole thing was fixed…At this point, Babs complained to her cousin, that there r such rumours spinning around and she is upset about it…Naturally, his cousin put forth a genuine concern… “Babs, why should Jzt say such things…she know u well…still why did she say so…What do u think…Did Jzt have any soft corner for S when u all were in the classes…Maybe, she is in love with that boy…and she doesn’t want u to marry him…So maybe she is trying to misguide u….”….
I wouldn’t have been hurt, if it was just a concern from Bab’s cousin…but then…Babs too at some point felt, Was there any truth in that… Even after knowing me inside out, she started wondering…and let Rags know… “Hey Rags do u think Jzt has some affection for S…”…. Rags who knew not even half of what Babs knew of me…gave a good piece of her mind to Babs for misunderstanding my intention…She even told her that it was she who asked me to called Babs…and explained how we came to know of the rumours and all…
Anyways…soon Babs got married…today she is a happily married wife and mother of 2 kids…Only after their marriage did Rags actually tell me these parts of the story…uhm…I was hurt…still hurt…When I met Babs after that, I did tell her openly that I was hurt..and she apologized…But…
The wound was already formed…how much ever medicine u put, the wound might heal…but some scars could never fade…This was a scar in our friendship…uhmm…
I realized a bitter truth…keep your head off when somebody is in love…as ur words could turn and bite you itself… as they say…LOVE IS BLIND and LOVERS ARE MORE BLIND… be it a truth that u r saying, u
nless they realize the truth their own way…ur words would never make them realize…So keep your advices to yourself…“Keep your Mouth Shut…”
NB: By the by, Rags is still in this country...happily married (lol..a big story..ofcourse she married her lover only) and have 2 kids...After this issue, we started getting really close...Its then, she opened up to me that she always felt bad that I never used to be close to her...and gave more importance to Babs...uhmmm...I feel bad...Many a times, we fail to recognise the real diamond...right??? I am making up for my past mistake...We have been in close touch and I tell her almost everything about me...and She is truly a Best Friend for me today...
4 comments:
I am happy that my story inspired you to write a very gripping story of a real incident.The narration of your younger days and the daily visits to Hotbread with measly amount that could not fetch a bun made for pleasant reading evoking nostalgic memories of my younger days when I had to be content with mere window gazing.
Rags and Babs, what beautiful names you have invented.All is well that ends well with both of them being moms with two kids each .A nice post that reflects the mood of romance very much in the air
true. I have had my share of 'keep your mouth shut' situations. I think thought, that it is not exclusive to matters of the love, it pertains even to bad company (friendship). sometimes it is better to be discreet and wait for the other person's mind to get back in orbit. :)
I guess I'm a different sort of person than norm. I'd MUCH rather have a friend point out as necessary any flaws of character and actions, etc. so I can study them for myself...not harp on these things but give me time to sort things out for myself. If a friend of mine just sits back and lets me fall deeper into a ruinous relationship, then he/she is NO friend but an enemy.
I'd rather face doubt, confusion, or suspicion than potentially face a lifetime of being made a fool of or become a victim of abuse.
JZT, nice to see you're still doing your thing! Happy Valentine's Day and a belated Happy New Year.
Peace Out, Penny....
you.. there's always a thrill in peeping into someone s story! sadly, almost every1 is more concerned about others life than their own.
the love thing is too complex and too complicated- my simple, naive, soft, unblemished brain- simply does not understand.
there was this guy in my class- who used to get a girl a dairy milk- every single day. 2 years later- he proposed, and she accepted. after college- their story celebrated a 'the end'.
there was another love story that was actually considered very strong. i personally did not believe in it. but as you say- i kept my mouth shut. it span for almost 4 yrs- throughout college life. post college- the guy dumped her!
are these love?
4 yrs in college- i ve lost all my romantic ideas. i ve become a hopeless romantic.
but then, i see things around. like my mom making my dad's favourite dishes, even when he does not ask her to make it. i think of how my granddad used to admire my granny thru the mirror when she kept the sindoor. or how my cat(thuppaandi) climbs into my lap when he's in distress...
well- i ve once again taken out my copy of 'pride and prejudice', turned on the music that plays 'e-ajnabi' from 'dil se' and i wait- for my Mr. Darcy...
:) very well written!
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