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Sunday, January 16, 2011

A Rare Specimen...

So…friends…Its already 10.20am here and the sun is just planning to come out and bless me…Oh yes, I said it right…Bless me…as I am freezing here…I look no less than an Eskimo today…and others around me is still wondering, if I have some invisible Antartic envelope around me to get dressed up like this…hehe!!!What to do…what to doo…after all, they should be knowing it by now, that I hate COLD…they should be knowing I am HOT person…cool na…to think so..even if none else agree to it…kidding…some do agree…haha!!! Feels so good when we boast of ourselves…and as I cant do it openly with my mouth…better do it into my blog…who can stop me here…hehe!!!

No, what I said is true…For a change I am wearing a Trousers and Full Sleeve Shirt…and then got my body into a very thick Jacket that reach below my hips…It is really cold…and I am freezing…the other two ladies are too wrapped up in a Kashmiri shawl and a Sweater…but then they don’t look as stupid as me…as I have really gone overboard with this black thickkkkkkk jacket…I can hardly pull out my head from this jacket..its that thick…I wish I had a gloves too…and socks…and Monkey cap…and a neck scarf…and a…HEATER….yesss..that is what I need…or maybe a Fire …

OK OK…now I am too much..I know that…I will try to be normal…but my fingers are numb..and that makes me a bit not so normal…in my mood…TO start with..I am sleepy even after sleeping 8 hours…I am hungry, even after eating an apple bigger than a pineapple and yoghurt…and an Arabic bread….U see, this is the only time I diet…bcoz afternoon and night I cant ignore the home made rice and curry…So to do some justice to my inner conscious…I reduced the amount of rice in my lunch box…but then to compensate, I fill myself more than anything during dinner…So u can now understand, tht I am extremely following the Pattern “Brk fast like a King, Lunch like a Prince and Dinner like a Pauper…”…but in the opposite manner…Ohoo..now I am feeling depressed…grrr…how will I rid myself off this extra fitting over my tummy…For some strange reason, apart from me, not much people ever notice that…being at the bottom limit of my weight limitation, I shouldn’t be losing anymore weight…but cant I lose some of that pouch that I got as gift with my baby…

Yesterday night, my mom woke me up…just to start an argument…ON WHY SHOULD I TAKE LUNCH…ok…now what happened was..I had a heavy dinner..naturally when I was packing my lunch box with some rice for afternoon, I thought…I SHOULD REDUCE MY RICE INTAKE…So I just dropped One big spoon of rice and some Beet Root Curry…and that’s it…the Lunch box looked almost empty with very little rice at one corner of the tiffin…Unfortunately, mom happened to see this…and assumed maybe I forgot to pack rice…and so woke me from my sleep to ask me…Why didn’t I keep rice for lunch…and naturally my reply irritated her… “One spoon of rice for Lunch? Then BETTER DON’T EAT ANYTHING”…she argued…I acted as if I was already asleep…she left the room…lol!!!...[Now how am I going to manage with this little food in the afternoon is another question…]

Apart from this, now I am much better healthwise…Did I update you all with that bit of information? OK, I missed..but should never have…as only when u know abt it…u can feel proud of urself..for knowing me…for being my friends…U see, I am too much a specimen …a rare find…not everybody will be lucky to come across a person like me…Now, this is not me boasting…but my doctor’s diagnosis and my friend’s comment…(I hate my friend for that comment…u will know as I finish this…)

So…I have been suffering from heavy sneezing, nose block and what not from last few years…U would have never seen me without either of this before…I never knew how to breathe through my nose…Unfortunately, my son had inherited this “IMMUNITY DEFECT” from me…so he too was allergic boy…atleast not like me…I sneezed atleast 10 time every 30minutes…Last October, I found out about this one doctor…too busy that he wasn’t even taking new patients..still I managed to get an appointment for my son in November…An allergy test was done and he was diagnosed with Dust Termite allergy…But the doctor was more affected seeing my condition as I spoke to him…He said…U NEED TREATMENT MORE THAN HIM….He granted me an appointment in December…My change in my son’s health was tremendous…I belived the doctor now..He knew his work…

Thus I gave him the opportunity to diagnose me …Lucky him…As he took out the Allergy testing kit, he was sure, that I too had Dust Termite allergy…and that is all…I also was sure…Yeah, only Dust Termite…the wicked termites…Doctor pricked me, somewhere around 20 pricks on my right hand with different allergens…He asked me to wait…He predicted I will have two balls coming out of two of the pricks proving that I was allergic to Dust…I too keenly observed my hand…The hand started feeling itchy…Doctor said, “NOOO…Its gonna be little itchy around those two pricks only..so don’t worry…”… He left me there to keep the Allergy kit back in the refrigerator (I suppose)…I could feel as if my whole hand was going itchy itchy..I wanted to bite through my hand…grrr…

As I watched, I could see the skin swelling up here and there...Not one or two…but lots…almost on top of all the pricks…SHOCKED…more than me, the doctor was shocked, when he came back and saw my hand…All red and swelling up…I was allergic to so many things???The doctor himself, had to pick out the Allergen list to confirm what were each pricks for…as he has never seen anybody with so much allergy…

NOW, I am allergic to…Dust Termite (how can I avoid that in a Desert), House Termites (Should I get out of my Home?), Cockroach (They are in the air..dead/alive), Dog (No where near me…), Cat (Good, I don’t keep pets), Tree (I am not in India, now), Grass (Neither in a park..), Mould (Now, Clean the Air Conditioners…pleaseeeee), Horse (Thank god, I am not a Horse Jockey…) etc etc…I was fed up…I am not fit to live in the greenery as I am allergic to Trees and Grass…I am not fit to live in the Desert as I am allergic to Dust…I can’t live in the Snow as I am allergic to Cold Climate…So…where can I live…grrr…The doctor sorrowfully said.. “Dear, u r allergic to too many stuffs…so No Injections can give you quick relief…Only thing, we will start on a course of action and slowly deal with it…”… Uhm…and Now I am following that course of action…and Yes, I have vast change in my health…I sneeze only very little now…No nose block…I breathe thru my nose…for a change…but has to be extremely careful and avoid the allergens as much as possible…uhmmm…

But worst was when I had to face a Cruel person…I did just one mistake..I shared what the doctor said with my husband…and he shared it with MY so called BEST FRIEND, M… Next thing that happened was…he informed this stuff with the whole network of our friends and relatives…and this is exactly what he said everybody…

“Did u know…She is a rare find…Even the doctor was surprised to find such a patient..the doctor had to take out his old Medical Books and study from first to treat her…He was saying, that in this many years of his profession, he has never come across such a specimen…Most probably, she is planning to donate herself to one of the Medical College for future researches and studies on Allergy…”

Grrr…he turned me into a Medical Specimen…What did he think of himself??? Am I some sort of rat or monkey for the students to experiment on me??? A Guinea Pig??? I hate him…I hated him more, when he called me on a conference call with almost 4 of my friends, husband, mom and brother (all connected in one call)…and as I sat their holding the phone against my ears…I heard all of them discussing deeply on how they should divide me to donate me to Medical Colleges for Researches and Studies…Frustratingly, I heard my brother arguing that “She is the property of Indian Medical Colleges”…while somebody else saying “NO, She is property of this country, she is living here”…while another saying “She should be donated to the Doctor’s country as he discovered her…” ...I am sure if they had any chance they would have put me into those Test Tubes and packed me off to one of the Medical College for the students to research on...After all, I was hard to find otherwise...Lol, wouldn't be surprised if my friend start an exhibition letting people come and watch me...

A Rare Specimen…

5 comments:

KParthasarathi said...

This is simply hilarious stuff and can easily rate high in humourous writing.I have a suspicion that this proclivity on the part of Anamika to indulge in hyperbole is purely intended to leave the readers in splits and believe me, she succeeds admirably well each time!!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading the piece.Keep it up

Jzt4me said...

Hey Dost,

I love reading ur comments...but then, u confuse me with big big words, which is above my level of understanding....hyperbole???lol!!! Just kidding...

Thanks dear for the comment...

Jzt4me said...

Dost,

I missed telling u...my above post is not at all an exaggeration...This is exactly what happened...especially the telephone call...I have actually toned down the reality..else the reality was much more worse...My friend really exaggerated on the doctor's episode and made me look like a real Specimen lying on a Research Table with a group of students around me...trying to understand WHAT IS THIS CREATURE?...

I hate himmm...

Matangi Mawley said...

ha ha!! LOL--- felt like an extra dosage of 'Life's like that' columns in RD... :D must make a note to thank a blogger- Rohini for helping me get here! :D

superb!

Keep writing!

Bikramjit said...

:) what can i say now other then repeat the last three words of the post

A RARE SPECIMAN indeed

and hey hey in case a exhibition happens make sure the entry is with ticket .. :) rare things are worth paying for ...

and reading ur comments you said it is true so KUDOS to u :)

Bikram's