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Monday, April 12, 2010

A DiL-MiL Story – DiL Version

The moments are nearing…Soon, Miss will become Mrs…a total blankness was all that she had in her mind…She had pasted a Closeup Smile on her face for the past 48hours and waiting for this one moment….The beautician was doing the last touch-up of makeup on her face…a look into the mirror and she thought, “Uhm, I am looking beautiful…”…Just then somebody came in…Hey, Grandpa…and he is bringing in someone with him… A Lady just barged in and hugged her… Took a while for her to realize it was none other than her would-be Mother-in Law…here on, MiL…

Ok, now the MiL and the DiL meeting for the first time. In this century of technologies bride and groom’s family met through an advertisement on the newspaper...The NRI groom met the NRI bride as per instructed by his family back home …an OK by the groom..Marriage fixed…and thus the first day the MiL meeting the DiL became the D-Day itself…Anyways, there was not much reason for the MiL not to approve of the DiL…as DiL was beautiful and adorned in gold from head to toe…The marriage was a royal feast to watch with the auditorium and the two extra halls packed with guests watching the whole function in CCTVs…uhmmm…afterall…A Grand Marriage…

Soon the bride became a wife and placed the first foot into her new house…The house bustled with relatives…She was taken to a room and asked to change her clothes…Ha, that was a relief…In 20 minutes she changed to some comfortable clothes and less number of ornaments and came out to meet the groom’s relatives…Aha…What happened…why such a silence in the house…Uh, Is this a dream…or reality that all the relatives had left…All that remained was the MiL and the BiL watching TV…Hubby having some coffee…

This is not what she expected on her first day of marriage…this is not what she had seen at her family…she thought it would be fun as it was in her family when her cousins were married…Anyways, nothing happened…She just walked into the TV room and stood there…She replied a NO for hubby’s concern if she needed anything…Then, as if to the TV, the MiL said looking at his newly wed son, “What do you want to eat…Have to buy something from Hotel…” Another shock passed through the DiL…She asked, “Mom, nothing to eat here…???”…MiL replied, “Ha, we didn’t cook anything today na…there is some left over rice and curry of yesterday in the fridge…”

DiL was more than happy with rice…She happily stopped her hubby from going out in the night in search of a Restaurant in that remote village area…She got into the kitchen to maybe warm up the food from the fridge…Not so happy for leaving the TV, MiL too joined…Soon the rice and curry was served and ate by all four of them…MiL hurriedly ran back to find her position in front of the TV…She really couldn’t miss the reality programme showing in the TV… DiL spend another 2 hours trying to clear up the mess in the Kitchen and clean up the kitchen to a proper hygienic one…She thought, “Maybe the marriage rush is the reason for such a horrible kitchen…Afterall, only MiL to clean the stuff, right…How can she do everything alone…” As a dutiful DiL, she happily cleaned up the place…Between her hubby jokingly teased her with an old saying… “A new bride would sweep the roof”…

That was the first experience at her marital house…

Six months later…DiL & Son just came for a short vacation…DiL wanted to give a surprise to her MiL…So didn’t inform her about their surprise vacation plan…Dreaming about a happy, exciting, surprised meeting scene, DiL ran into the house…Hubby was still in the car trying to park it…

First expression of Mil – “Haaa…Youuuu two…I thought somebody else…WHY did you come without informing…I don’t have anything to eat for you both…You have to go and buy something to eat…”

First reaction of DiL (ofcourse a bit of depressed at MiL’s reaction) – “Uh, No, actually, We got a 4 days leave by chance and I thought we will give you a surprise…Don’t worry Mom, we will buy food from outside…”

The bags were being carried into the house and hubby entered house and went straight into his room…DiL just started removing her sandals, then…MiL came in…

Second set of conversation after the initial expression – “OK, anyways now u have come..its ok…but let me tell you something…LIKE LAST TIME DON’T BLOCK MY TOILET PIPE AND THEN JUST LEAVE…IT COSTED ME 2000Rs TO REPAIR THE BLOCK LAST TIME…”

This time, it was a SHOCK on DiL’s face…she was not really looking forward for such a set of love and affection from her MiL when she wanted to give her a sweet surprise…instead, her MiL was giving her a SHOCK of her life…Can any mother say so to their kids who came lovingly to her after months just to see her…DiL couldn’t imagine…Still DiL replied, “But Mom, I didn’t put anything that could block the pipe…” Hubby replied, “Mom, we didn’t put anything into your toilet…It’s been years you have built that toilet, naturally it might have got blocked after all these years…Don’t blame us for that…” Conversation that evening ended there…The mode went back to Watching TV again…

Back as an NRI…far away from her MiL; she lived her days…still she realized so many truths of her marital family…She realized the big difference between the family she dreamt of ( the family she has seen till then) and the family she had in real… Even if physically MiL was far away, MiL always succeeded in giving that “Negative Touch / Effect” in DiL’s life to make the situation unpleasant…With time, DiL was learning that her MiL was not what she wanted and expected…Still, she didn’t know WHAT WAS WRONG nor she understood WHY HER MiL WAS SO…DiL never showed any indifference and behaved as if nothing was wrong…

Another eight months after the 4 days leave…its been more than one year of her marriage…this time it is a 20days leave…the next morning of their arrival at the MiL’s house…the four members of the family sat together for breakfast…Hubby had his breakfast and went off to the verandah of the house to read the Daily…DiL wanted to give company to her MiL and BiL and chat with them…Between the conversation, MiL announced….

“I NEVER WANTED THIS MARRIAGE TO HAPPEN…MANY PEOPLE SAID MY SON WOULD HAVE GOT BETTER MATCH…THERE WAS ANOTHER PROPOSAL WHO WERE READY TO GIVE HIM 2 APARTMENTS AND 1 CAR…BUT WHAT TO DO…HE WANTED TO MARRY ONLY YOU…FOR DAYS, HE CALLED ME AND BEGGED TO LET HIM MARRY YOU…FINALLY I HAD TO SAY – DO WHATEVER YOU WANT”

Aha…sooo…Mystery unraveled…DiL joined 1 & 1 to 2 & 2…She understood the meaning of the indifference she saw…She couldn’t believe what she heard…After all that love and respect she had for her MiL…in return...???

And that was the beginning of every DiL’s story…It became the Home Page of the never ending epic named...

“100000000000001 Tales of the DiL and MiL – DiL Version”

NB: The above are pages from the Real Life Happenings of a Daughter-in Law…Any MiLs could have a totally different version to say…Still this is the DiL Version…I won't say all MiLs are not sweet and like above, but atleast some are...

4 comments:

Anshul Pandey said...

Very easy remedy to fix this problem....

1.Annoy Mil
2.Annoy Mil
3.Annoy Mil
4.Annoy Mil

Till she leaves the home for some old age house!!

adreamygal said...

Heyyyy i loved ur take on the topic...its realy sweet - the DiL - MiL way !! Its really nice , and the way it was presented was really really good ! I loved this whole post so much !! The best take on the saas-bahu thing !! Too good :)

Jzt4me said...

@ Anshul

Never will a good daughter let a mother go to an Old Age House...Neither will this DiL let tht happen, bcoz at the end of the day, she is a good daughter and the MiL is a mother to her...Just hope that the MiL realise DiL's heart and they get together like an Mother-Daughter...

@ dreamygal

The DiL here expected Ma-Beti family when she entered that house...Instead she had to face the bitter stories of a Saas-Bahu, but hope, like any Soaps that we watch on TV, this also have a perfect ending which can mark the beginning of a Perfect Ma-Beti Story...

KParthasarathi said...

There is a Tamil saying "Every house has a door step" meaning that it is the same everywhere.Barring one in a million, the relationship of mil and dil is always fragile.Atbest of times, there is a cold war or total indiffrence but there is no affection from mil to dil or vice versa.The reason cld be psychological of dil taking away her son and his affection though it may not be true in some cases and the son going by his mom's apron string even after the marriage.Some are cowards not taking sides.
My take would be for dil not to tolerate any nonsense from day one ,be polite but tell what she wanted to say and not attempt to build bridges of understanding that wld never come about.Mil's presence if she were with dil can be tolerated without disrespect.
The funny thing is every dil is a potential mil following her footsteps in the later years.Why?
A nice post,.I enjoyed reading it.