A Vacuum Cleaner

Somebody asked me today to say something about my childhood. I realized, that I could recollect nothing much to share. I could never talk just out of the box of my childhood. For that matter, I could talk of nothing like that. I was going blank the moment I thought of what to talk. This could be one reason why I had this big urge to just go into a silent mode all of a sudden. I had all sort of blocks within me when I tried to purposefully talk about something. Same was the case about my filling the pages of this blog. I just couldn’t put myself to jot down my thoughts at times.

This could be very surprising and unbelievable for most of the people who knew me. For they always felt that I could never put a full stop when I start talking. But then, I can see how and why I was so. Basically, I was just talking; talking about nothing but everything. Strange.

The last few months; I had a lot to share. Most of them were hardships. Trying to get into the new phase of my life. I couldn’t. I would type things down. I would get so lazy to even read through what I have typed in. It would be then left back as a draft. There are times when I read many of my past drafts and wonder, did I even write them.

This new year. Like many other years, today I wish, I can finally start being open about myself and write down my thoughts and craziness. Not for anybdy else, but for myself. I wish I will stand by my wish. I hope to put down everything about my life, so that one day I can read them and wonder that “Did I really say all that?”

I hope the joke that was being shared around wouldn’t be true for me…

“January is only a trial month to try out resolutions and I will be back to normal starting February”

Is it actually my laziness that is not letting me be regular in this. Or is it something else. Somehow, I feel it’s the blank feeling that I face most time that makes me so rigid to do anything more than my regular routine. Maybe, I need to find ways to first clear the vacuum within me and then start filling it with things so that I can later put them down in records. So what do I need to do that…

Maybe… Maybe a…

A Vacuum Cleaner… 😉