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Sunday, December 31, 2017

Nothing is worth it...

New Year is just next door. Finally, it is time to put behind everything that I felt was not required for future. I lived through days and years with a false smile pasted on my face so as to not let those who I loved from seeing the pain I was going through. I felt, if they saw me cry, they will cry too. They will understand me and feel sad for me…Today, I can see the comedy in it. They were all only illusions of my heart to be living in a world of care and compassion.

Thus, I have decided to keep back some parts of my past as my past. That was a sweet term to say, “to keep back”; where I actually meant, “Throw away”. 
  • The tears that I held back hiding from the world.
  • The smiles I used to prevent hurting the others.
  • The blind love I bestowed on all that I cared for.
  • The blame of trying to portray a ‘Self-Victimiser’.
  • The negativity that a relation had dumped onto me.
  • The belief that somebody else will take care of you.
  • The thought that my happiness was not important.
  • The misconception that I would be understood.
  • The regrets that pressed me down the years.
  • The guilty conscience which dragged me to restlesness.
  • The over-confidence on my decisions being always right.
  • The relatives who cared for nothing but their own false pride.
  • The expectation of being anybody’s priority over everything else.
  • The fear of standing up for myself; against the pre-set standards.
As I step into the new year, I want to embrace the universal truth of life… Yes, I am fine, with the new tag of being 'Selfish', for I realise, 

“Nothing is worth it, if YOU are not happy” 


Anonymous said...

The moment we attribute 'others' responsible for our state of affairs is tantamount to 'self-victimisation'. Let's take ownership of our lives, and whatever has happened in our lives...alas, it was an experience and a lesson learnt!!

Jzt said...

True... Realising it in the hard way is sort of a blow