12 years…long
12 years…indeed, years does fly, but did moments? No. For her, No
moments flew. Infact she was 'so ungracious maybe' to claim that she have had
literally no moments to cherish…in this ‘so called’ bond she had been trying to fulfill in the past 12 years. People might feel she is a rebel. But now, she
wanted to be true to the world about some true facts about her life. She was not
sure, if she will get penalised further for being true. As for now, yes, she was getting penalised. All that remained was to put her in a Jail, which she felt
would have been a much better way to punish …
She lived 12 years of her life in a relationship filled with
everything other than LOVE. Unfortunately, that relation was named MARRIAGE
by this society. She recently got this comment that “Don’t try to self-victimize”…
She was not nor she wanted to, but that was the truth. She didn’t know, if what she
wanted to announce meant anything to anybody around her. For, she grew up seeing
a society which taught the girls to adjust with what they have rather than
demand anything stupid and 'Heart meant stupid'. Practicality was the more real
thing.
As each day
pass by, the endurance level was going down and the limits to agree and accept
the society norms were almost reaching to the stage of nil. She had started
fearing the worst and one of the worst being taking a decision to end her own
life. She had choices, didn’t she? Really, did she have choices??? Ok, maybe the
options that one can suggest from outside would be couple. “If you are not
happy, then why endure, GET OUT”. Or maybe, “ADJUST, a little bit of adjustment
is required in every relation.”
Her husband was
not a bad person. If bad meant Alcoholist, Womaniser, Cruel type as you see in movies…
Its just that
he believed,
“LOVE IS
only something that Cinemas and TV Soaps promote. Real life is not so.”
“When wife
is doing everything, then why move my ass.”
“This is my
comfort zone and I am NOT moving out of it.”
“Doesn’t matter,
what my wife go through, as long as I am not disturbed by any frenzy.”
And above
all, “It doesn’t matter what happens within house, but in public I SHOULD
have a wife, child and a very nice-sweet image”….
Was that
harsh? But this is what she has realised or seen during the 12 years… Repeatedly, she
tried making her ‘good’ husband understand what the actual problem
in their relation was. WHY there was NO love or respect reflecting between them? It
never made much of a difference, as she was very good at adjusting and acting
in front of the public that “ALL WAS WELL”… and he had grown up learning to take
things for granted… She could be taken for granted very well and so it went on.
After a
stage of life…FATHER_MOTHER replaced the HUSBAND_WIFE that had long disappeared. She believed
maybe that would take them together for the rest of the life, rather drag her through. But now… She
started feeling… MAYBE, she was wrong… Maybe??? NO!!! Its not maybe… SHE WAS...
SHE WAS
WRONG…