My thoughts, my emotions, my feelings, my imaginations, my opinions, my fears, my dreams...

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Friday, June 30, 2017

She was wrong...

12 years…long 12 years…indeed, years does fly, but did moments? No. For her, No moments flew. Infact she was 'so ungracious maybe' to claim that she have had literally no moments to cherish…in this ‘so called’ bond she had been trying to fulfill in the past 12 years. People might feel she is a rebel. But now, she wanted to be true to the world about some true facts about her life. She was not sure, if she will get penalised further for being true. As for now, yes, she was getting penalised. All that remained was to put her in a Jail, which she felt would have been a much better way to punish …

She lived 12 years of her life in a relationship filled with everything other than LOVE. Unfortunately, that relation was named MARRIAGE by this society. She recently got this comment that “Don’t try to self-victimize”… She was not nor she wanted to, but that was the truth. She didn’t know, if what she wanted to announce meant anything to anybody around her. For, she grew up seeing a society which taught the girls to adjust with what they have rather than demand anything stupid and 'Heart meant stupid'. Practicality was the more real thing.

As each day pass by, the endurance level was going down and the limits to agree and accept the society norms were almost reaching to the stage of nil. She had started fearing the worst and one of the worst being taking a decision to end her own life. She had choices, didn’t she? Really, did she have choices??? Ok, maybe the options that one can suggest from outside would be couple. “If you are not happy, then why endure, GET OUT”. Or maybe, “ADJUST, a little bit of adjustment is required in every relation.”

Her husband was not a bad person. If bad meant Alcoholist, Womaniser, Cruel type as you see in movies… 

Its just that he believed,

“LOVE IS only something that Cinemas and TV Soaps promote. Real life is not so.”

“When wife is doing everything, then why move my ass.”

“This is my comfort zone and I am NOT moving out of it.”

“Doesn’t matter, what my wife go through, as long as I am not disturbed by any frenzy.”

And above all, “It doesn’t matter what happens within house, but in public I SHOULD have a wife, child and a very nice-sweet image”….

Was that harsh? But this is what she has realised or seen during the 12 years… Repeatedly, she tried making her ‘good’ husband understand what the actual problem in their relation was. WHY there was NO love or respect reflecting between them? It never made much of a difference, as she was very good at adjusting and acting in front of the public that “ALL WAS WELL”… and he had grown up learning to take things for granted… She could be taken for granted very well and so it went on.

After a stage of life…FATHER_MOTHER replaced the HUSBAND_WIFE that had long disappeared. She believed maybe that would take them together for the rest of the life, rather drag her through. But now… She started feeling… MAYBE, she was wrong… Maybe??? NO!!! Its not maybe… SHE WAS...

SHE WAS WRONG…

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

But, do I have...

Life seems fast and happening…but is this what I want…
Time to pause and think…For what is it that I want…
I knew, the world walked around with a fake face…
But, do I have all that it need, to live this phase…

The glittering lights and the bright shiny rooms…
The flashy clicks as the loud applauds booms…
I knew, the world was watching close with smiles…
But, do I have all that wish, to walk these miles…

Yes, I smiled and smiled as I walked forward…
As my heart pounded like a little coward…
I knew, the world would see nothing beneath…
But, do I have all that will, to just bequeath…

Everything anew as it masked within the real me…
As a quicker route to the time I yearned to see…
I knew, the world would frown on this change...
But, do I have all that heart to care, isn't that strange…