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Thursday, May 18, 2017

Can I, ever?

One fine day, he came up saying his ATM card got stuck in the machine and he urgently needed cash as his house power bill was not paid. He gave excuses for all suggestions to use credit card / cheque or direct bank teller. Bottom line, he was desperate for money.

Though, deeply in problems myself…I never could close eyes to anybody in distress, especially for money. I had gone through worse situations in life and always had some angel to lend me a hand…For this reason, I always felt, these were the moments where I could repay my gratitude to god for his invisible presence in my life… Shelling out the amount he needed would cringe me this month. Still…

I offered money, he declined. Next day, he mentioned that the power was disconnected at his residence and how difficult it was in this summer. He went on and on about sweating hard and how his health was taking a toll due the same. I felt bad, again. Forced him to take the money and he could return it as soon as he gets his ATM card back. Half minded, he agreed. I transferred the amount to him to collect from an exchange. He thanked me profusely.

Couple of days later, he called up deeply stressed out. His ATM has not reached yet, but he urgently need cash as his mother is sick back home. This time, he asked me if he can borrow some more money. I could only give him a part of the amount he needed. Shockingly, he asked me if I could spare any ornament that he could mortgage as it was emergency. “Afterall, it was the matter of own mother, anybody would want to do their best and that might have made him shed his ego and ask me,” I assumed. I couldn’t do it. Hence, I explained the situation to another friend and he too chipped in. Thus the problem got solved.

Within a week, my friend created a ruckus and got his money back. I felt bad for the boy, his mother is sick and he is forced to run around for money, especially when he has money unused in his account. “Everything will be alright, once ur ATM card gets delivered,” I consoled.

Within days, I realised… He had nothing more than his boasting dialogues. On the verge of legal cases, all he had was a negative bank account and credit cards. Shocking it was, but then… Similar people had already crossed my life, who had to boast just to survive. I was sympathetic for him.  

With all sympathy, things weren’t great for me either. As luck could have it, I needed the money urgently, if not all, atleast a part of it. I kept calling him and he disappeared. No calls, no chats…just disappeared into thin air. This went on for couple of months and I had almost lost hope in getting the money back… When one day, I called him from a colleague’s phone…

Voila, he answered the call.  Realising, I was clearly cheated, I couldn’t be calm any longer. I wanted an answer to WHY DID HE LIE TO ME… Suddenly, he said… “Please, I didn’t cheat you. I was not here. Do you know, my mother died and I am just back today after the rituals back home.”

Dumbstruck, I felt guilty to the core and so ashamed of myself. This man was in deep sorrow and I was so rude to him, I thought. I now could say nothing more. Apologising to him, I consoled him and expressed my condolences…

Days passed, it didn’t take much time for me to realise, “There was NO other bigger fool in the world than me…” His mother was all safe and sound and that #@$^&@%#$ had resorted to lies again; just to shut me off. He apologised to me for all the lies he had told me. Deeply regretting that he lied about his own mother, he explained how he fell into all this financial crisis and how he has not a single soul to help him anymore.

Its now more than 6 years since that day… He has still not returned the money.

I know, I would never get that money back. If I add up the amount I had spent on the telephone calls I made during this period…it would clear the amount he owe me. I would have forgotten about the money and would have just assumed that I gave it off as charity. But, I still call him and asks for it. For, HOW CAN I FORGIVE A MAN WHO LIED HIS OWN MOTHER’S DEATH… So, ritually, I call him every two months and listens to his statement that “HE HAS NO MONEY. HE HAS SO MANY LEGAL CASES AGAINST HIM…HE WILL GIVE ME MONEY WHEN HE HAVE IT”etc etc etc. I too remind him, “HOW CHEAP A PERSON HE WAS TO CHEAT ME AND TO EVEN STOOP TO SUCH LOW LEVEL AS TO DUPE HIS MOTHER’S DEATH”…

For, I can never forgive him…for the guilt I had gone through or the emotional stress he had put me in… He made me lose my trust in humanity, again… I could never ever trust another person’s tears…


Can I, ever?

1 comments:

Makk said...

I think I am here after a long long time and you write in similar style!