What to believe and what not to?

Experiences really confuse one’s thoughts…I am confused…to believe or not to…to trust or not to…I realize one thing…If I decide to stand by my belief, then I can save myself from being looked upon as an Idiot. But if my belief is wrong, thennnn…I have to start wondering, how we can believe anybody in today’s world. How realistically could somebody be fooled…Now the story goes on like this…

Matrimonial sites are a common practice in today’s world to find a soul mate for the future brides or grooms…Now, there is a groom in our family, who has been searching for his bride for sometime now. Different criterions which is above our control limits always was a barrier to finalise on one girl of his choice. Horoscope, looks, compatibility and what not…All that he demanded was, he want a slim, educated, independent yet homely girl for a wife…But the family behind him had much more to see to…Thus, went on his search for the perfect match…I never got involved into this search parade that was happening in the family. But circumstances forced me to finally sit in front of the computer screen and search for that ONE girl…

During one such searches, I liked the profile of one girl. Lets call her ‘G’. We send an interest and the interest was accepted by the girl’s side. Within a day, they confirmed they have checked horoscope match and it is a match and they would like to proceed. The girl having only a mother as her father passed away years back, the only conversation happened was between the girl’s mother and the girl. All that was seen was the girl’s photograph as seen in the matrimonial site or FB. It was finalized through phone calls that further talks will be made once the boy’s family reach the native place.

Details of the girl’s family was never revealed, such as the exact address of their house or their ancestors. Everytime the question came up, it was just put off with some change of topic of conversation. Nothing looked weird or nothing seemed suspicious, atleast for then…The bride-to-be and the groom-to-be was allowed to talk and know each other through phone calls. All this had happened within 2 weeks…and on the third week the boy’s family reached native land.

Now started the string of incidents which is far away from my understanding…As from phone calls, we were being informed such a large number of Odd stories…such as the Girl was an adopted girl, the mother is sick and what not…and within a month, we were informed that the girl’s Mother passed away…NOWWW…when we asked if we can attend funeral, they (still ladies on the phone) told us that it is not auspicious for the groom’s to attend a funeral before any other sacred function. True, the opinion was genuine, but…

Now the questions that arised in the mind of family members were… 

1. Why NO men in the family never spoke to any of us?
2. Why were they NOT giving us the complete address?
3. Is there actually such a girl and family?
4. Was it just an online fraud by some silly naughty brat of a girl?
5. Was it just that the girl was talking to us in different voice and was making up stories to avoid any progress in the wedding procedures?

Our family reached to a conclusion…

“The whole episode is fake and it was just a prank of some girl.”

Family was fuelling with anger and irritation. They never wanted to even discuss this topic ever in the house. They didn’t accept the options of “Maybe all the incidents were TRUE and it was just unfortunate that all those happened coincidentally.” “Maybe, the tensions in their house was the reason for the incompleteness of conversation or information provided”… The whole family just announced… “Now, even if the Girl is genuine and the family too is, we don’t want the boy to marry her”. For them it was Fraud. They were cheated. Past experience supported their view point.

Now, the other side is…The boy was completely shaken, eventhough he never showed it out. Within those few days of knowing the girl through phone, he might have had built a mental attachment towards her. After all, why won’t he? The way she spoke to each of us, atleast, I could never think otherwise about the girl’s genuinity. She was soo homely and loving as we could feel from the phone conversations. Beautiful in looks as we had seen from her photographs.

Present Tense:

As far us all of us are concerned, the proposal is off and the search continues. The girl is still in touch with me and some of us through FB. She apologized for all miscommunication, but attributes them to the situation that happened in their house then, i.e. her mother’s death and her knowing that she was an adopted girl. Maybe she is true, maybe all that was just coincidental…but the damage has been done.

I had liked her a lot…and that hurts…in two ways…

• If the girl is genuine then all that happened was unfortunate and we missed a nice girl…
• If the girl is fake, then how smartly were we cheated and makes me wonder, "Can anybody act sooo well and so realistically cheat a whole family…

What to believe and what not to?