Somebody asked me
today to say something about my childhood. I realized, that I could recollect nothing much to share. I could never talk just out
of the box of my childhood. For that matter, I could talk of nothing like that.
I was going blank the moment I thought of what to talk. This could be one
reason why I had this big urge to just go into a silent mode all of a sudden. I
had all sort of blocks within me when I tried to purposefully talk about
something. Same was the case about my filling the pages of this blog. I just couldn’t
put myself to jot down my thoughts at times.
This could be very
surprising and unbelievable for most of the people who knew me. For they always
felt that I could never put a full stop when I start talking. But then, I can
see how and why I was so. Basically, I was just talking; talking about nothing
but everything. Strange.
The last few months; I
had a lot to share. Most of them were hardships. Trying to get into the new
phase of my life. I couldn’t. I would type things down. I would get so lazy to
even read through what I have typed in. It would be then left back as a draft. There
are times when I read many of my past drafts and wonder, did I even write them.
This new year. Like
many other years, today I wish, I can finally start being open about myself and
write down my thoughts and craziness. Not for anybdy else, but for myself. I
wish I will stand by my wish. I hope to put down everything about my life, so
that one day I can read them and wonder that “Did I really say all that?”
I hope the joke that
was being shared around wouldn’t be true for me…
“January is only a
trial month to try out resolutions and I will be back to normal starting
February”
Is it actually my
laziness that is not letting me be regular in this. Or is it something else.
Somehow, I feel it’s the blank feeling that I face most time that makes me so
rigid to do anything more than my regular routine. Maybe, I need to find ways to
first clear the vacuum within me and then start filling it with things so that
I can later put them down in records. So what do I need to do that…
Maybe… Maybe a…
A Vacuum Cleaner… 😉
