Nights always seemed to be those moments to lie
down in bed and turn either side with frustration. Yes, it was so depressing
that come what may, I just was not able to sleep, without waking up every 10
minutes. Thus, mornings turned more depressing and through the day, I would
wish if I was in a bed to just doze off.
Strange that I would be soooo tired as I rush to
the bed and then keep wondering ‘what the hell.’ The loud snores
nearby, would get me more depressed and envious that how people were able to
sleep so peacefully. With dubious intentions, I would scream or shout in the
middle of the night. This gave a temporary relief to my ears and heart as someone’s
snoring was interrupted. But it never took more than 30seconds for them to
resume its function. To irritate me by making me jealous…
Enviously, I would look for ways to fall asleep.
Listening to music, patting my own head, massaging my own forehead and what
not. When nothing worked, then the thoughts started to wander. They went on and
on weaving a thousand negative thoughts and again pushed me into another set of
stressful fears and sorrows. I would feel self-pity, wondering ‘Why me?’
But…
Today, I am gleaming with peace. Rather excited of
a new-found discovery. I am no longer waking up to wait for the alarm to ring
off. Instead, I started feeling the faint noise of the alarm somewhere deep
inside my senses and then slowly force to open my eyes to realise that the alarm needs to
be asked to Shut-up. I was ecstatic that, I just had to hit the bed and in no
time, was falling off asleep. Nothing woke me in the middle and I woke up only
to the ‘pathetic’ alarm.
After years, I am now enjoying the luxury of sleep.
Its peaceful and over-whelming. I was feeling proud as I was explaining to my
mother on my achievement. She passed a sarcastic chuckle. I didn’t care, for
only I knew the difference it made to me. To feel that you could sleep is one
of those divine realisation that I have experienced in recent times.
I am sure, you too might be wondering, what is she
blabbering so much about ‘sleep.’ Trust me, try to deprive yourself off sleep
for couple of days and then get your sleep. You will understand what I mean.
Ok, now problem is not that. I am now sleeping
enough or more than enough for an adult. But wonder my body thinks that they
shud compensate for all the years of No sleep. For the more I sleep, the more I
want to sleep… Turning lazy is another side effect, I assume. Sleeping is so
addictive…
OMG, I am addicted…
