What to believe and what not to?

Experiences really confuse one’s thoughts…I am confused…to believe or not to…to trust or not to…I realize one thing…If I decide to stand by my belief, then I can save myself from being looked upon as an Idiot. But if my belief is wrong, thennnn…I have to start wondering, how we can believe anybody in today’s world. How realistically could somebody be fooled…Now the story goes on like this…

Matrimonial sites are a common practice in today’s world to find a soul mate for the future brides or grooms…Now, there is a groom in our family, who has been searching for his bride for sometime now. Different criterions which is above our control limits always was a barrier to finalise on one girl of his choice. Horoscope, looks, compatibility and what not…All that he demanded was, he want a slim, educated, independent yet homely girl for a wife…But the family behind him had much more to see to…Thus, went on his search for the perfect match…I never got involved into this search parade that was happening in the family. But circumstances forced me to finally sit in front of the computer screen and search for that ONE girl…

During one such searches, I liked the profile of one girl. Lets call her ‘G’. We send an interest and the interest was accepted by the girl’s side. Within a day, they confirmed they have checked horoscope match and it is a match and they would like to proceed. The girl having only a mother as her father passed away years back, the only conversation happened was between the girl’s mother and the girl. All that was seen was the girl’s photograph as seen in the matrimonial site or FB. It was finalized through phone calls that further talks will be made once the boy’s family reach the native place.

Details of the girl’s family was never revealed, such as the exact address of their house or their ancestors. Everytime the question came up, it was just put off with some change of topic of conversation. Nothing looked weird or nothing seemed suspicious, atleast for then…The bride-to-be and the groom-to-be was allowed to talk and know each other through phone calls. All this had happened within 2 weeks…and on the third week the boy’s family reached native land.

Now started the string of incidents which is far away from my understanding…As from phone calls, we were being informed such a large number of Odd stories…such as the Girl was an adopted girl, the mother is sick and what not…and within a month, we were informed that the girl’s Mother passed away…NOWWW…when we asked if we can attend funeral, they (still ladies on the phone) told us that it is not auspicious for the groom’s to attend a funeral before any other sacred function. True, the opinion was genuine, but…

Now the questions that arised in the mind of family members were… 

1. Why NO men in the family never spoke to any of us?
2. Why were they NOT giving us the complete address?
3. Is there actually such a girl and family?
4. Was it just an online fraud by some silly naughty brat of a girl?
5. Was it just that the girl was talking to us in different voice and was making up stories to avoid any progress in the wedding procedures?

Our family reached to a conclusion…

“The whole episode is fake and it was just a prank of some girl.”

Family was fuelling with anger and irritation. They never wanted to even discuss this topic ever in the house. They didn’t accept the options of “Maybe all the incidents were TRUE and it was just unfortunate that all those happened coincidentally.” “Maybe, the tensions in their house was the reason for the incompleteness of conversation or information provided”… The whole family just announced… “Now, even if the Girl is genuine and the family too is, we don’t want the boy to marry her”. For them it was Fraud. They were cheated. Past experience supported their view point.

Now, the other side is…The boy was completely shaken, eventhough he never showed it out. Within those few days of knowing the girl through phone, he might have had built a mental attachment towards her. After all, why won’t he? The way she spoke to each of us, atleast, I could never think otherwise about the girl’s genuinity. She was soo homely and loving as we could feel from the phone conversations. Beautiful in looks as we had seen from her photographs.

Present Tense:

As far us all of us are concerned, the proposal is off and the search continues. The girl is still in touch with me and some of us through FB. She apologized for all miscommunication, but attributes them to the situation that happened in their house then, i.e. her mother’s death and her knowing that she was an adopted girl. Maybe she is true, maybe all that was just coincidental…but the damage has been done.

I had liked her a lot…and that hurts…in two ways…

• If the girl is genuine then all that happened was unfortunate and we missed a nice girl…
• If the girl is fake, then how smartly were we cheated and makes me wonder, "Can anybody act sooo well and so realistically cheat a whole family…

What to believe and what not to?

Just back...

Ok guys…so our National Airline didn’t cheat us. We went off ON time and reached the destination with all my luggage intact…Yeah, that was another fear…whether they will fly with us. They did!!! To be frank, whatever said and done, I feel, the service is much better off than many other airlines who claim to be the best. Budget airlines means NO food, NO water, NO baggage…nothing…for many of them…and if you decide to pay for all this stuff separately, it counts upto almost same as any other airlines who doesn’t categorize themselves under the “Budget” airlines.

The days after we landed was nothing less than a fast-forwarded movie…Still cant believe that I am already back. Am I happy to be back? Yesssss, happier, happiest…Maybe a little less than my son, who literally cried to fly back to our ‘Home Sweet Home’ here. Now, for him, the WHY had only one answer. He was tired of all the Mosquito bites, lizards on the walls, cockroaches that had a free will to go anywhere they wanted, ants who had their final word on who to bite and where to…His whole body looked like a patch worked field. His fair skin was filled with red swelling wounds or scratches or little bumps. The day he returned, he had 6 red balls on his forehead, due to the Dinner party the Mosquitoes had the previous night. Maybe they used his forehead as the dessert. Anybody who saw him, sympathized with his plight. When I saw him scratching in front of people, I felt embarrassed, even if I very well knew he couldn’t resist. When I couldn’t, how could he.

And for me, I wished, I never went. My allergy soar to the extreme heights. I knew what were my allergens that was making each day worse. But, what to do, I could do nothing to avoid them, unless I decided to place myself inside a Glass box and expect somebody to drag me around. Not a single day went without me sneezing through out or without a blocked nose. I wished I could cut them off and throw them out. Haaa!!! Medicines which were not fully recommended for a prolonged use were used thru out the vacation period, so that I would have atleast few hours of time when I could use my nose to breathe. My nose got wounded with the continuous usage of tissue paper or hanky. By the time, I was back, I couldn’t even touch my nose, let alone wipe it.

The Villains were many…The beautiful rain which filled moisture in the air blocking my nose. The breezy rubber trees emitted pollens to instigate my sneezes. The smoke in the manual stove made me wheeze for a tinge of air to breath. The dust in the roads wouldn’t let me even open my eyes. The dogs in my aunt’s house gave me fits of cough and sneezes. Mosquitoes ate me up and flew around with fresh blood from abroad. Maybe they passed the word around that two new samples are in town. So on a daily basis, the number of bites increased. I swear, they have a good networking skill.

The pressure of mental / emotional torture was nothing less compared to the physical attacks. Complaints from relatives for not marking my attendance at their residence, the MOMENT I stepped my foot into the airport was one among the many. How could they expect that I can do that, when 1001 expect the same. I couldn’t please all. Physical visits to each one was another expected behavior from us. And if we fail to do that, be ready to face the wrath. I know, it is due to their love for us, but…Cant they realize that we went for some important function and I had my own responsibilities to be fulfilled towards both my family and my in laws too…10 days and 1001 things to do!!! At one point, it just fell off my mouth to an aunt, “Aunt, It is at such moments that I wish, we fought with all relatives. So that we will not be expected to do this house-visits.” She laughed…But grrrrr to my loose talk. Anyways, I haven’t received any after effect of that dialogue I passed innocently. Hmm…

Another mental torture that I cant bear from relatives is their advising tendency. Each one acts as if they are living MY life and things happen as they think. When would they realize that each one of us is a separate individual and issues in our life are different because we live with different people in different situations. For them, a wife means “SLAVE” and they get shocked when they see I match nowhere near that picture. They pity on my husband for the same. His face in front of their exclamatory comments irritates me more. At one point I just shouted back, “It is always green on the other side. Lets not discuss about a life which I am living same as I shouldn’t be advising on yours. What is right for you might be wrong for me and vice versa. If you still want things to be the way you want, then try doing it from all aspects and not just put the weight on my head.” It is easier to preach than to implement.

Anyways, can write all the sad part for one big nice part. My grandpa's happiness…The occasion I had actually gone for happened with all its colour…Was so happy to see my grandpa’s smiling face and happiness when his b’day was made special… His grandchildren (me being the first in the row) had our own surprises for him and with many such surprises, the day went off well. Good food and a huge crowd made it more wonderful. Wishing my Grandpa many more years of good health and happiness…

Signing off for now…

With Fingers Crossed...

Ok, So I am going on a short leave to God’s own country…Was never planning to go so soon…I was there just few months back…but what to do, if you are close to your family, anything special in their life automatically becomes special for me too and I end up crossing the airport exit…This time, it is too much special. My grandpa’s milestone bday. I don’t wanna tell you, how old is he, but still he is old and strong and handsome still…Touchwood…

Now, the idea came up couple of months back, when I initiated an email to all the kids (my uncles and aunts) and grand kids (cousins) about an idea of giving a surprise to grandpa on his bday… Positive response from all of them…thus startd thinking what, how, when, where and all. Evrything was decided, all that was not decided was the Air Tickets to reach back home. Being holiday season and the public holidays during tht week, was the most favourable time for almost all the airlines. Our National Airline, as usual was not reliable and the everlasting strike made us think 100 times, if we should book ticket in there. The other airlines who were doing the FAVOUR (yes they act as if they are doing a favour, even after we paying a fortune on the tickets) was acting as if, they prefer going without passenger rather than taking us in…grrr!!! Flights were un available or full or fares cannot be shown. Finally with much Optimistic thoughts, that within 2 months our Government will listen to the people who are striking and the strike will end and the flights would go normally… So by the time, our fly out date comes, everything would be normal…And as if the government heard our wish, within a week of us purchasing a One-way ticket, the strike was over and the flights started flying.

Yipeee, so we were safe. Now, next question was to get a return ticket. Inspite of all the confusions about the national airline, there was NO return flights available on it. Else, we need a minimum of 45 days leave to come back. Majority flights were full and those that had tickets were almost asking me to sell off my property or gold to pay their ticket prices…Direct flights were almost close to impossible. Thus I started looking for options via different neighboring states. Gosh, even that was not so cheap. Finally, I got a good deal…Take a 12 hours train to our neighbors, be their guest for half a day and take a flight from there the next day. As my aunt lived in the same city, it was not a bad idea. I cud enjoy the train journey too and also not tear my pocket off.

So all fixed. Now came up another issue. What to wear on the D-day… My stupid bro came up with a divine idea that all grand kids go in WHITE… what the hell, are we doves or carriers of peace. Together we were nothing less than real time Devils. Hmm..No comments!!! Thus my search for a WHITEEEEEEE dress started… Sari was a NO-NO for me as I didn’t wanted smbdy to walk with me to hold it on… Looking for something different and at the same time not much expensive. I knew it would be a one-time wear costume. So didn’t wanted to shed more money on something that’s gonna stay inside my cupboard for the rest of its life…

As I walked thru every single garment shops, I found not a single pure white dress and the ONLY ONE piece that I found cost more than my Wedding costume. Gosh!!! Was it that inflation was too high or my pocket was too small…God knows!!! Finally, 3 weeks before our departure flight, I found a place where they could stitch beautiful gowns (which my people back home would insultingly address as FROCKS as small girls wear) and I got a good bargain. The thunder struck soon after I gave my order for the dress and got into the car…

An RJ said… “Many callers have confirmed that they have received an SMS saying that their flights to X, Y, Z for the dates from ……. to…… has been cancelled”. WHAT THE HELL!!! I dint get any sms. My flight not cancelled. Thank god! Wait a minute, but flight numbers and dates are matching. Maybe the whole thing is a SPAM. Yes, it is. I confirmed to myself. I was trying to pacify myself, maybe. But deep inside, I was just hoping that I could reach my laptop and see if the news was true. Later when I googled, NO such cancellation news were in the news. Thanks to god, it’s all a SPAM.

Two days later, I decided to sign in to my flight details and assign seats for myself and kid. Better than getting seats at two different corners of the aircraft. After all, flights were going full. As I entered my PNR (Passenger Name Record) number, in red I saw that dreaded message. “We regret to inform you that your flight has been cancelled. You can either book for a later date with NO additional cost or request for a complete re-imbursement”. I couldn't read properly, as I felt I might faint. With a foggy vision and shivering voice, I passed the news to Mom too. I heard a gasp frm her too. I had to now look for options, if at all I had any.

Reimbursement, my foot!!! This last moment, which airline would take me. I am NO sacrificial goat that they would feel pity on me and load me into their luggage container. I was literally depressed. I looked for earlier dates and realized that as per their new schedule, there were no flights at all till that day. With prayers, I checked for the next day, and yipeee, yes, their first flight after the long break, was ON the very next day. I was losing just 1 day. It was better than never going at all, afterall, the function was after 3 days of our departure flight. I immediately made necessary booking amendments for the next day’s flight before somebody else decided to take that ticket too.

Uhm, so thats the flashback. I was supposed to fly today. I should have been in the aircraft now. But still, not too late, tomorrow I can fly. I have my tickets. I have my luggage packed. I have my passports ready. NOW, if and only if the AIRLINE decides to give me a heart attack…I wouldn’t be attending my grandpa’s bday celebration. Don’t even remind me of such a situation…All our hopes are on them, the “Gods of our National Airline”…Please don’t let us down…

With heart full of prayers and fingers crossed…

How Pathetic...

It was my first day to the Salsa classes. I myself was worried that I was driving all alone after 9pm to a place that I was not much familiar with looking for the Dance class. It was with much difficulty that I could finally find the building and I parked my car and walked to the high rise building. As it was already sometime past Iftar time, the place was not so crowded and the few people that was around was inside the walls of the Restaurants that lined the road on the sides of the dance class building.

As I walked towards the dim lit reception of the building, I suddenly heard a camera click…I had noticed a short man sitting at the steps of the building entrance having a puff…I noticed that he was sitting in such a position that his right hand had his cigarette…and the left hand had a mobile. If we casually look at his posture, there would be no doubt of his intentions for holding the cell phone the way he had.

It took few seconds for me to actually think twice about the click that I had heard as I was walking past him. By then, I had entered the building entrance and the click that was similar to a mobile camera click got me a bit concerned. I turned to look through the glass door to find the origin of the click. I noticed that the guy was staring at his mobile and at the same moment, he too noticed that I was looking at him. He immediately kept the phone aside and resumed smoking as if the whole thing was just normal…

Something in me forced me to walk back to him and I did exactly that and stood behind him. With his back towards me, he was sitting on the steps and I started off…

“Excuse me, Can I see your mobile?”

“Why, Madam. Nothing Madam”

“Did I say, there is anything. I just want to see you mobile. Give me your phone, please”

“What Madam, there is nothing Madam.” (and he started scrolling his mobile’s scroll button)

“I would just like to see your camera, give me your phone” (I was shivering with anger already)

“Nothing Madam..” (still scrolling back and forth the menus)

“I said, GIVE ME THE PHONE…or you want me to call the Police?”

“For What Madam..” (he started the Video Camera Mode)

“No, not the Video Camera. I want to see the Photos. I feel, you clicked some picture on it. Let me just see…”

“No, Madam. You had misunderstood. I clicked NO picture” (now he clicked Photo Camera mode and closed it immediately)

“That’s fine, lemme confirm it myself. You better show me the picture album. If you don’t know how to get into there, then GIVE ME YOUR PHONE or else let me call the police, that’s better”

(I started dialing Police number and he finally clicked ON the Photo Album. While he was quickly scrolling the pictures to the bottom, I saw some shirtless pics of the guy himself…that was clicked by himself… At that moment, I had a doubt, if he was just clicking his own picture. Still…)

“Give me the phone, I will check myself.”

“Nothing Madam, I showed you. There is nothing” (he was closing his phone)

“I will decide that.” (and I snatched the phone from his hand)

As I scrolled all the way to the top of the pics, I found the picture I was looking for. My photo, that was clicked when I was walking past him. Maybe, because I was a fast pacer while walking or maybe because he was slow to click it, the picture was Out of focus and shaken. I could understand it was my picture, due to the colour of the dress I was wearing. I completely lost whatever patience I had.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THEN? I am asking you, what is this then? Is this not my picture?” (he wasn’t even looking at me then and had turned his face to the other side facing the wall)

“Sorry Madam, maybe by mistake.”

“Ok, if this was a mistake, then what are these…”

I was pointing at the numerous photos of females clicked in similar positions. It was clear that the photos were clicked without their knowledge as they were walking past that road. Many girls’ side views, back side, legs and so on. It was clear from the pictures that he was a nerd, a psycho.

“I am going to call the Police”

“Sorry Madam, sorry. By mistake please…”

I was deleting my photo then. As I walked in, I was confused as to call the Police or not. Too late in the night and I was alone. Calling the Police meant, I had to stay back still late. Then I noticed the building's Watchman. He was lavishly relaxing at the building's reception lounge. I informed him of what happened and asked him to do the needful and I went up to the Dance class. Once I reached there, I regretted not deleting rest of the photos. I saved myself, but what about all those other girls. I immediately informed the Management of the Dance School and one of them went down to see what can be done.

As I walked out of the class, that night, I was informed that all the pictures were deleted and he was informed to the Owner/Manager of the restaurant he was working for. He was a Delivery boy at one of the cafeteria just next door. He was given a verbal warning and his mobile confiscated. I just hope that, he wasn’t shrewd enough to had transferred the other photos to any computer or laptop. Hmmm.

How pathetic can some be? Every single day just confirms my opinion on such psycho characters. How I wish people start respecting each other and think a hundred times before they try finding enjoyment in silly and dirty pranks. Wouldn’t they ever change? Are we destined to live with such lowless creatures that should have been long locked up at some mental asylum and treated properly with enuf amount of shock treatments. Experiences  gets me frustrated with such specimens who share our mother earth with us. I still wonder what he get with what he was doing…

How Pathetic…