It was indeed an era of growth that we have been
witnessing from past few years and it is ongoing…in any field for that sake…With
the growth of technology and social media, people and their developments grew…
distances reduced…Everything seems possible these days…Maybe bcoz I am not
those intelligent types, makes me wonder the intelligence of great minds and
how they come up with such great inventions and developments … I wonder how
some anti-humans (I prefer calling them so…) can use these inventions for evil
and selfish motives…
I am one of those silly person who has been affected
severely by such anti-human activities… Now, affected directly??? No…I was
never… But then, psychologically, I have been affected and it has actually
reached a point that I myself at times feel, that I am going crazy…The very few
who know about this craziness, calls me Mad…and even suggested that I should
see a doctor, hmm, yeh, well..a psychiatrist to be clear…
Now, what is it…I have a very serious issue of Fear
of Hidden Cameras…these cameras now has taken the form of anything or everything...from a safety pin to the button of a shirt...from a keyhole to the AC switch... My fear thus have reached to such an extent that I started getting
scared to even be in my own bathroom… A very soothing bath below the shower,
suddenly would turn into so traumatic when my senses suddenly warns me, “What
if there is a camera in there…”, “What if somebody is watching me LIVE”… now,
how can somebody be that crazy…I don’t know, but I am…
For this fear, I would try avoiding to the last limit
to not enter any public washrooms…I would rather try a dress over what I am
wearing, than trying it out in a trial room…And if at all I am a trial room, I would
be doing all sort of crazy techniques to frantically see if there is any camera
there…Not that, I have the least belief that I can find one even if it is there…still,
I would try touching the mirror, carefully scrutinising the lights, peeping
thru the key hole of the door and what not…At times, I laugh at myself…when I am
sitting in a toilet and my eyes keep wandering all around searching for a
camera eye… I wonder, what if somebody is indeed watching, then they would for
sure think, “What a crazy female…what is she looking all above…”… I can imagine
myself in a monitor looking like a FOOL…
Due this phobia; I end up being suspicious on every
person who is not family in my home… Whenever the cleaner leave; I would have
this fear for atleast a day…I would, literally, scan the whole bedroom and bathroom to
make sure that my fear is not true…For that matter, yesterday, the AC
technicians were home… Initially everything was fine...But, once they left, I started
getting highly disturbed and regretted not monitoring them while they were
working on the AC duct above the Bathroom ceiling…
But then, a quick search on google will tell u how
around the world; every hour there are thousands of hidden camera videos are
being uploaded… All those videos gets forwarded without any empathy for the person
who might be on it…It proves what perverts are we living around us in this
world… Without any consideration for the other female, they shoot girls to old
ladies… be it a fully dressed woman or a naked one…It doesn’t matter to these
people who get into such dirty tricks…Why don’t their conscience tell them,
that it could be even their own family that could be a prey to such a prank…why
don’t they think of how they are destroying someone’s life and might be even
dragging someone to the verge of giving up their own life…
I feel ashamed of myself…my inability to trust people…but then, I have my own reasons for the same…but now this new fear has actually increased the intensity of the other…Friends tease me at times by saying, there are cameras all around me and for a second, I would loose my breath…before I slap them for their silly joke...How rude…I am a strong woman, I know. Even if I get into such a situation, I know well that I can face the world and fight the battle myself...but still...
Now, I want to travel…have some time to myself…to
clear all the backlogs in my mind…and I am serious about it…But then, at the
same time…I wonder, Can I ever be calm and clear myself with this fear in my
mind… the fear of being in a video forward in someone’s phone… the fear of
every stranger around…the fear of being watched…secretly…Scopophobiac, am I???
Am I being watched???
