“I am Fine, I am not…I am ok, I am not…”…
Since past few days, this argument is ongoing within myself… Since the last
blow I got, I had learned to live in the new style, life has put me into… My
whole routine had changed… I was getting calm and busy, but this time I was
busy in a happy content way… How much pressure was building up within me, I don’t
know… but still I was fine…Yes, I was…
As the days were passing by, the only
concern was how to take care of the big inevitable problem that would naturally
come up in such situations…By now, I have realised where my calmness was hiding
all these years…Here, I discovered the reality that I am enjoying the days without
the pressures of the external politics…On the other side, the problem was
growing up, putting people around me too in difficulty. I know, I might sound
toooo strange and weird and confusing here…But then, I feel like keep those
problems with me for the time being…
Anyways, to come out of this problem, I had
to naturally step out…Step out of the calm life I have been living since past
few months… Finally, I got my solution today…Everybody is happy…everybody
means, every single person around me… I wondered, if anybody saw what was it
that was going on within me because by then the argument within had started…
The thought of leaving the calmness I had finally started experiencing was
actually not a good feeling, I suppose…
Yes, I was happy that now I could take care
of the mounting problem that would have put others in trouble. But that meant, I
have to sacrifice my personal comfort zone and that was not a happy thought
either…So what is it that I am feeling exactly…How I wish, I could just erase
everything off and just believe, Yesssss, I am happpyyyyyy…but, its not the case…Hope
the coming days will give me an answer to this push-pull question…
Fine or Not Fine…
