Whenever we take a new step in life, it seems to be a new hope…a new
phase, a new beginning… If we go back to the past of this blog… it is very
evident that I wrote a lot when I was going thru one of the most terrible
period…Let me say, not the worst, still psychologically a tough period. But
then, in a day, my life changed and I was floating in peace…inspite of all the
explosions or riots that happened around me, I was still at peace…I was calm
and my mind was free to just go in the flow…
Thus I realized, I can blog only when I am in pressure… and in tht new
phase, the pressure was lesser than the required level for blogging…lol!!! But
then, years later…it has happened…all of a sudden, at one moment, I was pushed
back into a whirlpool…and I am trying to actually first get hold of the ground
or something to hang on…Only then can I start thinking, how to come out of this
or should I just let go off…
Life is indeed strange. We make plans for a future that we are not sure
of. I too did. I thought, or believed that the calmness that was over me was
permanent and I can stride thru life just like a cool breeze. I had this
idiotic belief that, NOW, nothing can go wrong. I made plans…plans that spread
for many years ahead. I assured those who were around me, that I am there for
them. I will be there for them. But now, today, I wonder…When I am not even sure
of whats gonna happen to those plans I had, how am I gonna be there for those
who think I wud be there…
We say, "see you soon" whenever we bid goodbye…What make u say that? The belief
that you are gonna be alive till that next meeting, but… When you borrow money,
you say, “will give it to you by next month”, but…When you plan the future of
your kids, you say, “This is good for you”, but…
Ok, so, eventhough I am not depressed, I am worried. I am not upset for
the change in my life’s phase, but I am angry at the circumstances. I am not
thinking what next, but I am wondering why I am not thinking. I can see, in
front of me is all those road map that I had planned and set with the over
confidence I had…I thought, nothing gonna happen till I achieve the goals. I will be safe, but now... I am not.
It feels as if I am there, "Standing in the middle of the world’s
busiest road, not knowing, should I run to my left or the right or just stand
here". I gotta take a decision and that too soon before I loose control of all
the ends of the strings I am holding on to. Yes, I have too many strings to take care of and I can or should never forget that...
No worries, this too will pass…I have seen worser days, and I have come
out of it victoriously…I have come thru much difficult phases…I have fought
bigger battles…I have swam much deeper oceans…And during all those moments, God
had sent me angels… and their hands helped me come out of all of them…I am
sure, this time too, God will send an Angel…as always a new one, a new
revelation in a different form…As I realize, even the angels that come in for my
help are not same, they too change…Am I not right, when I say…
Nothing is permanent!!!
