What to believe and what not to?

Experiences really confuse one’s thoughts…I am confused…to believe or not to…to trust or not to…I realize one thing…If I decide to stand by my belief, then I can save myself from being looked upon as an Idiot. But if my belief is wrong, thennnn…I have to start wondering, how we can believe anybody in today’s world. How realistically could somebody be fooled…Now the story goes on like this…

Matrimonial sites are a common practice in today’s world to find a soul mate for the future brides or grooms…Now, there is a groom in our family, who has been searching for his bride for sometime now. Different criterions which is above our control limits always was a barrier to finalise on one girl of his choice. Horoscope, looks, compatibility and what not…All that he demanded was, he want a slim, educated, independent yet homely girl for a wife…But the family behind him had much more to see to…Thus, went on his search for the perfect match…I never got involved into this search parade that was happening in the family. But circumstances forced me to finally sit in front of the computer screen and search for that ONE girl…

During one such searches, I liked the profile of one girl. Lets call her ‘G’. We send an interest and the interest was accepted by the girl’s side. Within a day, they confirmed they have checked horoscope match and it is a match and they would like to proceed. The girl having only a mother as her father passed away years back, the only conversation happened was between the girl’s mother and the girl. All that was seen was the girl’s photograph as seen in the matrimonial site or FB. It was finalized through phone calls that further talks will be made once the boy’s family reach the native place.

Details of the girl’s family was never revealed, such as the exact address of their house or their ancestors. Everytime the question came up, it was just put off with some change of topic of conversation. Nothing looked weird or nothing seemed suspicious, atleast for then…The bride-to-be and the groom-to-be was allowed to talk and know each other through phone calls. All this had happened within 2 weeks…and on the third week the boy’s family reached native land.

Now started the string of incidents which is far away from my understanding…As from phone calls, we were being informed such a large number of Odd stories…such as the Girl was an adopted girl, the mother is sick and what not…and within a month, we were informed that the girl’s Mother passed away…NOWWW…when we asked if we can attend funeral, they (still ladies on the phone) told us that it is not auspicious for the groom’s to attend a funeral before any other sacred function. True, the opinion was genuine, but…

Now the questions that arised in the mind of family members were… 

1. Why NO men in the family never spoke to any of us?
2. Why were they NOT giving us the complete address?
3. Is there actually such a girl and family?
4. Was it just an online fraud by some silly naughty brat of a girl?
5. Was it just that the girl was talking to us in different voice and was making up stories to avoid any progress in the wedding procedures?

Our family reached to a conclusion…

“The whole episode is fake and it was just a prank of some girl.”

Family was fuelling with anger and irritation. They never wanted to even discuss this topic ever in the house. They didn’t accept the options of “Maybe all the incidents were TRUE and it was just unfortunate that all those happened coincidentally.” “Maybe, the tensions in their house was the reason for the incompleteness of conversation or information provided”… The whole family just announced… “Now, even if the Girl is genuine and the family too is, we don’t want the boy to marry her”. For them it was Fraud. They were cheated. Past experience supported their view point.

Now, the other side is…The boy was completely shaken, eventhough he never showed it out. Within those few days of knowing the girl through phone, he might have had built a mental attachment towards her. After all, why won’t he? The way she spoke to each of us, atleast, I could never think otherwise about the girl’s genuinity. She was soo homely and loving as we could feel from the phone conversations. Beautiful in looks as we had seen from her photographs.

Present Tense:

As far us all of us are concerned, the proposal is off and the search continues. The girl is still in touch with me and some of us through FB. She apologized for all miscommunication, but attributes them to the situation that happened in their house then, i.e. her mother’s death and her knowing that she was an adopted girl. Maybe she is true, maybe all that was just coincidental…but the damage has been done.

I had liked her a lot…and that hurts…in two ways…

• If the girl is genuine then all that happened was unfortunate and we missed a nice girl…
• If the girl is fake, then how smartly were we cheated and makes me wonder, "Can anybody act sooo well and so realistically cheat a whole family…

What to believe and what not to?

Just back...

Ok guys…so our National Airline didn’t cheat us. We went off ON time and reached the destination with all my luggage intact…Yeah, that was another fear…whether they will fly with us. They did!!! To be frank, whatever said and done, I feel, the service is much better off than many other airlines who claim to be the best. Budget airlines means NO food, NO water, NO baggage…nothing…for many of them…and if you decide to pay for all this stuff separately, it counts upto almost same as any other airlines who doesn’t categorize themselves under the “Budget” airlines.

The days after we landed was nothing less than a fast-forwarded movie…Still cant believe that I am already back. Am I happy to be back? Yesssss, happier, happiest…Maybe a little less than my son, who literally cried to fly back to our ‘Home Sweet Home’ here. Now, for him, the WHY had only one answer. He was tired of all the Mosquito bites, lizards on the walls, cockroaches that had a free will to go anywhere they wanted, ants who had their final word on who to bite and where to…His whole body looked like a patch worked field. His fair skin was filled with red swelling wounds or scratches or little bumps. The day he returned, he had 6 red balls on his forehead, due to the Dinner party the Mosquitoes had the previous night. Maybe they used his forehead as the dessert. Anybody who saw him, sympathized with his plight. When I saw him scratching in front of people, I felt embarrassed, even if I very well knew he couldn’t resist. When I couldn’t, how could he.

And for me, I wished, I never went. My allergy soar to the extreme heights. I knew what were my allergens that was making each day worse. But, what to do, I could do nothing to avoid them, unless I decided to place myself inside a Glass box and expect somebody to drag me around. Not a single day went without me sneezing through out or without a blocked nose. I wished I could cut them off and throw them out. Haaa!!! Medicines which were not fully recommended for a prolonged use were used thru out the vacation period, so that I would have atleast few hours of time when I could use my nose to breathe. My nose got wounded with the continuous usage of tissue paper or hanky. By the time, I was back, I couldn’t even touch my nose, let alone wipe it.

The Villains were many…The beautiful rain which filled moisture in the air blocking my nose. The breezy rubber trees emitted pollens to instigate my sneezes. The smoke in the manual stove made me wheeze for a tinge of air to breath. The dust in the roads wouldn’t let me even open my eyes. The dogs in my aunt’s house gave me fits of cough and sneezes. Mosquitoes ate me up and flew around with fresh blood from abroad. Maybe they passed the word around that two new samples are in town. So on a daily basis, the number of bites increased. I swear, they have a good networking skill.

The pressure of mental / emotional torture was nothing less compared to the physical attacks. Complaints from relatives for not marking my attendance at their residence, the MOMENT I stepped my foot into the airport was one among the many. How could they expect that I can do that, when 1001 expect the same. I couldn’t please all. Physical visits to each one was another expected behavior from us. And if we fail to do that, be ready to face the wrath. I know, it is due to their love for us, but…Cant they realize that we went for some important function and I had my own responsibilities to be fulfilled towards both my family and my in laws too…10 days and 1001 things to do!!! At one point, it just fell off my mouth to an aunt, “Aunt, It is at such moments that I wish, we fought with all relatives. So that we will not be expected to do this house-visits.” She laughed…But grrrrr to my loose talk. Anyways, I haven’t received any after effect of that dialogue I passed innocently. Hmm…

Another mental torture that I cant bear from relatives is their advising tendency. Each one acts as if they are living MY life and things happen as they think. When would they realize that each one of us is a separate individual and issues in our life are different because we live with different people in different situations. For them, a wife means “SLAVE” and they get shocked when they see I match nowhere near that picture. They pity on my husband for the same. His face in front of their exclamatory comments irritates me more. At one point I just shouted back, “It is always green on the other side. Lets not discuss about a life which I am living same as I shouldn’t be advising on yours. What is right for you might be wrong for me and vice versa. If you still want things to be the way you want, then try doing it from all aspects and not just put the weight on my head.” It is easier to preach than to implement.

Anyways, can write all the sad part for one big nice part. My grandpa's happiness…The occasion I had actually gone for happened with all its colour…Was so happy to see my grandpa’s smiling face and happiness when his b’day was made special… His grandchildren (me being the first in the row) had our own surprises for him and with many such surprises, the day went off well. Good food and a huge crowd made it more wonderful. Wishing my Grandpa many more years of good health and happiness…

Signing off for now…