She was 11 years old then…having two sisters of 7 and 3 ½ below her…she was a big boss to them…Being elder most always gave her an extra privilege of importance and pampering…I know, she was sweet and nice…mischievous and at the same time disciplined…talented and much cared for by her family…At the age of 11, she was still taken care of by everybody…
But that day, as she was sitting in her car with her two younger sisters…she asked her uncle, “Where are we going?”… Uncle said, “We are going to XXX…to see your mom…”...She received NO further satisfactory answer to any of her further questions… In her memories now, all she remember was seeing a new born baby which resembled more like a frog…People told her that “frog” was her brother…She knew, she would soon have one more sibling, but a frog!!! She might have thought so…Her search for her mother soon ended in a harsh reality that her mother has gone to god and would never return…
She remembers vaguely what happened after that…The travel back to their ancestral home with her mother’s motionless body…the crying faces of her relatives…She was with her sisters…she didn’t see her so- called brother anywhere…Somebody had told her, that he should be at hospital…Tears dripped down her cheeks as she was slowly trying to understand “What is death…”… She was realizing that she wouldn’t anymore have the lady who took care of her and did her chores for her…who she called Mummy…Her Mummy was no more…As she sat there watching them carry her mummy away, she cried…maybe not with the complete realization of the impact of what happened…
The coming days were new to her…with new experiences…She stood with tight lips as she saw the elders forcing her father to remarry for the kid’s sake… What her heart might have been thinking, maybe I can never say…But when her li’l sister told that she doesn’t want another Mummy…her Daddy announced, “NO MORE DISCUSSION IN THIS HOUSE ABOUT MY RE-MARRIAGE”…Maybe that made her relieved…as stories of a bad step mom always scare any kid…I suppose…
That was the beginning of a new phase for her… In a day, the 11 year old girl became a Woman…a mother…to her little sisters… Nobody asked her to…Still she grew up for her li’l sisters…Till that day, she never knew to tie her own hair, but she was so beautifully plaiting her sister’s hair…She was feeding them food with her little hands…She played with them, studied with them, slept with them…Did everything her Mummy would do…
She was growing up at a fast pace… without enjoying childhood to the max. She was a matured lady…Still at times, the small girl in her showed out…by being naughty and mischievous with her sisters…but never cud she stay in that mode for long…Bcoz she knew, her sisters needed her more than anybody else…
But soon, her father decided that she be send to a new house…to start a new phase of her life…So before she even enjoyed her teenage, she became a wife and a daughter in law… What a jump of life she went thru…Maybe I can never feel that…When she was supposed to be a playful girl, she turned a responsible Mother to her sisters…When she was supposed to be a lively Teenager, she transformed into a wife…For her, education didn’t seem important at that point of life, maybe…as she never cared to complete her studies even…After all, she was more into the household life…
Be it was her maternal home or her marital home…She changed herself into such a mode that she was the favorite of all…luvd by all… Soon she became a mother…and her responsibilities grew…the coming years showed her all colours of life…Happy days and sad days…Bright moments and dark moments…Joyful experiences and Bitter too…She was responsible and was matured too…but was she right always? Maybe NO…Maybe Yes… afterall, she was a human being who grew much ahead of time…there were many things which she had no idea how to handle and so dealt with them the way the moment forced her…
Today, its been decades after that day…when she started transforming her life to accommodate the needs of other…She is still the happy, responsible and matured lady…As her status changed to a grandmother, I saw the childishness in her…as she played hide and seek or running race with her grandchild…After all the responsibilities I realize that she had taken up the responsibility of her grandson, now…She made him the purpose of her life today…She was enjoying her moments with him…maybe re-living her lost childhood…
If somebody asked me to comment on my life as an Outsider…She just lived for others as per other’s demands…and that too with utmost perfection...Will I do it? Never…Can anybody do that ever in today’s world…I doubt…I, myself is not perfect… I personally might have deprived her off many things that she deserved… knowingly or unknowingly… Was life right to her??? Did she get what she actually wanted? Or was she just accepting what life gave her? Wasn’t it that she found happiness in things that she had instead of searching for something she didn’t have?
I feel that she deserved much better than this…She deserves much better happiness…Then how and why was she deprived of them…Did anybody make a mistake? If Yes, Who??? Her family or She…Or was it the fate…
All I know is…I love her a lot…and at many times, I have wished I could give her back her lost childhood and all those moments that she actually deserved…Maybe then, her life would have been much different than what is it today…Can I ever do that…
I don’t know…
NB: Today is my Amma's mummy's Death Anniversary...A day that would always stay in her memories with pain...But she never show it out...as today is also birthday of her little brother...the last gift of her Mummy to their family...
