A Blind Eye to Injustice...

DOWRY...quoting from Wikipedia…“A dowry (also known as trousseau or tocher or, in Latin, dos) is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage”…even though dowry is a criminal offense, the practice of giving and taking dowry still prevails in my home country…the dowry came in forms of gold, vehicles, money, property etc according to the demands of the groom or his family…uhmm…I myself have seen people bargaining as if they were buying a cow from the market… “Our son will marry your daughter if you give 100sovereign gold, one car and 2 lakhs in cash…” Haaaaaaaaa!!! What a dirty practice… there have been very regular cases of abuses of the bride at her husband’s house if the dowry was not properly given…Ok , now that’s a very serious issue on which I wouldn’t want to have a discussion now…but the story I am going to say here is very short and simple…

This might seem funny for us…but what might have gone through the people who had to face this situation is something we can never even imagine…This is not one of my personal experience…but a real life incident happened in a village area, where my father grew up…I heard this story when once my grandmom was quoting this incident to some one while they were having a discussion on Dowry…

This happened in the backdrop of a village on top of a mountain…around the 70’s…. I was not even born then, so naturally I couldn’t witness this incident myself…There was a poor farmer in my grandmom’s village who had three daughters…after exhaustive extensive search, finally they found a suitable groom for the elder daughter…(suitable here should mean a groom whose demand was the most feasible than a whole lot…) THE DEAL WAS FIXED…(that’s what I would like to explain it as…)…the marriage was fixed once it was promised that the father will give a fixed amount as cash and gold and a part of his land property….anyways…after much prayers of the girl’s parents, the marriage was solemnized…the bride and groom left for the boy’s house…

Now back home, there is a post-marriage custom where the bride’s family would visit the Bride’s New House (that is the groom’s house)…this ritual is usually done on the same day or the next day…and it is expected that the bride’s family should take with them some gifts tooooooo (after all the expenses for the marriage this just added to the financial liabilities)…What ever…. The girl’s family was happy that atleast one of their daughter got married…and they set out for their daughter’s new house…they reached the place and was just about to step into the house…and….

Ahaaa…there…on the walls of the house…right near the front door…hung some gold ornaments…they recognized the ornaments...they were the very ornaments their daughter wore for the marriage the earlier day…the father of the bride started sweating…he knew, his worst nightmare was about to start…he was going to get insulted sooner than he expected….

Now what happened was…the father couldn’t arrange enough gold as he had promised the groom’s family… to avoid the marriage getting called off, the father bought some artificial ornaments…which looked like gold but was not gold in real…he calculation was to exchange them with real gold as soon as he could arrange enough money to buy them…But, unfortunately… the groom’s family was cunning enough…the very night of the girl’s marriage, she was asked to remove the ornaments and give it to her mother-in-law…and then they checked with a goldsmith if the ornaments equated to the amount the girl’s father promised…and naturally, they found out the truth…

For the girl, that night was worse than words could explain and surely did her family too went through lot of insult and harsh words… and above all, they refused to accept the girl anymore…they ordered the girl’s family to take their daughter back with them…

What happened after this to the girl or his family is still unknown to me… but I remember, those days, when I heard this story from my granny, I was laughing…laughing on the thought of seeing the ornaments hanging on the wall…I was more attracted to the embarrassment the family might have gone thru…as if it was some sort of a prank...I couldn't understand the pain or sorrow, they could have gone through…

Today, I am grown up…I realise what the girl might have suffered…especially in those days when GIRLS had no say to make any decisions on their own…what choice could she have had... all she would have done was cry in silence... could she ever go against everybody and fight back for the shame she was made to go through...I don't know...I wish and hope that if I could save atleast one girl from the evil pangs of this system called Dowry, then I would consider myself worthy enough to live in this world…and I really hope every man and woman stand up and raise their voice against this criminal offense and work towards eradicating this practice once and for all….

Always remember, by giving or taking Dowry, we are turning into criminals...we are just being another offender of rules and regulations...another law violater...we are giving nothing other than...

"A Blind Eye to this Injustice..."

That Day made me Strong...

It was summer vacation for us…that day, the results for the final exams were published and I was promoted to fourth grade…time was somewhere near 2.30 in the afternoon…mom was all set to get her afternoon nap…and the whole locality was actually fixed up in front of the television sets…after all, there was LIVE telecast of Olympics on TV… I was getting bored…I announced, I am going to my neighbor’s house to play with my friend M...As I ran out, I could hear mom saying, “Come back soon…and behave properly at her house..” Ha…typical mother…

Outside the house, the whole city seemed silent…the roads were empty…was Olympics that big thing to watch…uhmmm…??? Soon, I was playing with M… what were we playing???…I don’t remember…but I still remember that I was standing at her door step…with one leg on the third step and the other on the bottom step…she was sitting on the fourth step…Suddenly, I heard somebody…I turned to the gates and saw a stranger…I walked towards ,asked him…

Me: U calling ME???

Stranger: Yes, dear…you are staying here, right???

Me: Noooooo, I am staying next door…

Stranger: Your father working abroad, right??? Ha, what was his nameee…I just missed it from my mind…Dear, what was it…

Me: Uncle, do you know my dad…? He is no longer working abroad… But, right now he’s not at home… He’s gone out to meet one of his friend…

Stranger: Oh dear, he’s back in town…I came looking for him only…Can you take me home…?? I will wait for him…

Me: Ohhh, no problem…I will..

And to my friend I shouted back, “M, I will be back soon…let me take uncle home…”

As we walked out, he said, “Dear, I want to see one more friend before we go to your house.. Will you come with me..?”… Stupid me agreed without thinking twice…We walked and walked and walked…he had his left hand over my shoulder…He asked me, “How old are you ??” and happily I answered “I am 7 yrs old, uncle…my birthday I coming in another three months…. we will have a birthday party on that day…” and thus went on with the conversation…He kept on asking me questions and I kept on answering them…It was quite some time later that I noticed, we have been walking for a long time and still no signs of this 'So called friend’s house'…I asked him, “Uncle, where is your friend's house…”… He said, “It’s some where here, I am also trying to find his house…Do you know this area?”…I was sure of my reply… "NO…I have never been to this place before…mom never allow me to go anywhere alone…” He smiled and we made another turn on the road…and then he announced, “Hey that is the house…”

We reached the gates of the house and tried opening the door… I pointed out to him, that the gates were locked…Suddenly he exclaimed, “Oh not this one, that is the one…” and we walked towards the next house…Seeing a signboard saying ‘Beware of Dogs’, he said, “Not this one…it’s the other one at the end of this road…”… By this time, a fear crossed my heart…I remembered my mom once reading out the newspaper about ‘Strangers coming in White Ambassador cars and kidnapping children…’..To worsen my fear, I saw a white car at the other end of the road… without showing my fear out, I calmly told him, “Uncle, mom might be looking for me… Can we go back..”…He said, “Just this house and then we will go back.”… I was scared as we approached the white car…but as feared he didn’t push me into it

We walked past it and soon opened the gates of a house … it had red colour paint on it’s walls…A flash of peace passed my mind, as I recognized the house…atleast I knew the old lady who stayed in that house… I have met her many times at the temple…and once while passing by in my dad’s car I have even seen her going into this house… As soon as he opened the gates of the door, I shouted… "Grannyyyyy….” What happened next was something I never expected….The ‘so called uncle’ suddenly covered my mouth with his right hand and grabbed me and took me to the back side of the house… I was shocked…Because what he did next was “something I couldn’t understand…”…He pulled me against him and started rubbing himself onto me…one of his hand was pressed against my neck and I was choking…I was getting hurt…I couldn’t even scream for help…tears rolled down my eyes…in between this push and pull situation, his hand got loosened from my neck for a split second and I ran to the front of the house screaming, “Grannyyyyy…” But he came behind me and covered my mouth again and pulled me again to the backyard…He was desperately trying to press his body against me and with his hands trying to touch my body… I thought, I was going to be killed…I couldn’t understand what exactly he was trying to do…but, what ever he was trying t do, it was hurting me…I tried resisting him with all energy I had…I was trying to loose myself from his grip…I wanted to atleast open my mouth and scream for help…Then, he started pulling on my dress to tear it open…at that one moment, I got MY TIME…the first chance I got, I bit his hand and screamed for Help and started running

I reached the front door…He came behind me and again caught me… But that moment, I heard her…it was like the sound of an angel who came to save me…I heard the old lady’s voice, “WHO ARE YOU…WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HER…”…He was shocked…he took his hands off me and I just dashed out and ran…I still doesn’t know, how I reached my house… I hid beneath my bed…I couldn’t breath…I was crying or rather was trying hard to hold on from letting any noise of mine…I feared he might come back searching for me…I was TERRIFIED….I closed my eyes…

After almost an hour, I was calm…I went to my mom…She saw me and she knew something was wrong…She asked me what happened, “Did you cry…”.. I said, “Mom, I think I was kidnapped…”…Mom thought I was joking…she scolded me for saying such stupid things… I asked her to go to that old lady’s house and ask her…I was also wondering, why the old lady come and inform my mom about what happened… My mom, immediately called the lady…then only I realized, that afterall, what would that old lady know..she just saw this man and me at her door step and saw me running…as per her, ‘When she asked him who he was and what he was doing with me, he said it seems, he came to meet some Police officer and I was just showing him the way to the house….'…In her words, “He then rushed out and was soon gone…”…

Mom, then asked me what had actually happened…I couldn’t explain to her what exactly happened…I was even scared to cry…It was concluded that, “some stranger was trying to take me to some deserted house and rob off the gold neck chain and bangles I was wearing then…”…Mom consoled me and also warned me never to go with any stranger ever…

Years later, when I was matured enough to know the realty of world…I understood, what exactly had happened to me…I realized his intention was not to steal but to harass me sexually…I could never tell my parents that the "Stranger was not just a Thief…but a Pedophile…”… Even today, whenever I think of the day, a cold shiver passes through my body

What IF he had used chloroform and made me unconscious???

What IF I hadn’t got that ONE split second to bite his hand???

What IF he had taken me to some house where nobody lived???

What IF I didn’t know that old lady in the house???

What IF I couldn’t scream and shout for help???

What IF he had succeeded in his attempt???

But let me tell you… for days and months, I was completely shattered by the memories of that man…But, soon I pulled up my strength together…I decided to face the truth…and I DID…courageously, I prepared myself to face the world boldly and fight the evil… I never did let another stranger take that extra step that could destroy my life….It made me keep my eyes open to recognize any such evil act around…be it with me or anybody else…

That day made me STRONG…