My thoughts, my emotions, my feelings, my imaginations, my opinions, my fears, my dreams...

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Follow me in this Journey of Revelation and encourage me with your valuable opinions and comments...

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Nothing is worth it...

New Year is just next door. Finally, it is time to put behind everything that I felt was not required for future. I lived through days and years with a false smile pasted on my face so as to not let those who I loved from seeing the pain I was going through. I felt, if they saw me cry, they will cry too. They will understand me and feel sad for me…Today, I can see the comedy in it. They were all only illusions of my heart to be living in a world of care and compassion.

Thus, I have decided to keep back some parts of my past as my past. That was a sweet term to say, “to keep back”; where I actually meant, “Throw away”. 
  • The tears that I held back hiding from the world.
  • The smiles I used to prevent hurting the others.
  • The blind love I bestowed on all that I cared for.
  • The blame of trying to portray a ‘Self-Victimiser’.
  • The negativity that a relation had dumped onto me.
  • The belief that somebody else will take care of you.
  • The thought that my happiness was not important.
  • The misconception that I would be understood.
  • The regrets that pressed me down the years.
  • The guilty conscience which dragged me to restlesness.
  • The over-confidence on my decisions being always right.
  • The relatives who cared for nothing but their own false pride.
  • The expectation of being anybody’s priority over everything else.
  • The fear of standing up for myself; against the pre-set standards.
As I step into the new year, I want to embrace the universal truth of life… Yes, I am fine, with the new tag of being 'Selfish', for I realise, 

“Nothing is worth it, if YOU are not happy” 

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Victim Player...

Those watery overflow of one’s eyes could bring either joy or sorrow to other. And, being a self-proclaimed strong woman, I wanted to give neither of this to the other on my expense. Yes, its true. I never let my tears to bring a smile to anyone who cared nothing about me. I never let my tears to bring tears to those who cared for me. That was me.

Today, I could hold no longer. I have reached a phase of life that my strength was just giving up on my will-power to hold back tears. I failed. The past few months, I have wasted those tears on some illusions that I had about life and those around me. I kept hearing taunts, “Stop Self-Victimising.” Is it so? Were those overflowing tears a parcel of self-victimising? Did I ever do that? Am I a living example of self-victimisation?

Me? A Victim Player? 

Friday, December 8, 2017

Baby, just for you...

Baby, here, thou can see my hand
Yes, its for you, to hold or to let go…
You know, it shall stay there, just for you
As long as my blood flows through you…

Baby, here, thou can see my smile.
Yes, its for you, to cherish or to ignore…
You know, it shall bloom there, just for you
As long as you say that you are safe…

Baby, here, thou can see my heart.
Yes, its for you, to make or to break…
You know, it shall beat there, just for you
As long as your love for me stay afresh…