The distance I walked, was nothing less than a
world record for me. Can’t believe that, the me who always lived my life for
others; the way they wanted, today has started a journey of my own… In quest of
the long-lost happiness and joy, that this life could bestow on me. Today, I
stepped out of my past to build a new future. A hope filled, promising future.
I know, the journey ahead is not going to be easy.
With the tag of being someone’s wife still choking me, the number of fingers
pointing at me have only increased with every passing day. Thru every night
that I cried my heart out, I could feel the warmth of a hug and a soft voice
that said, “Mamma, don’t worry, I am with you. You are not doing anything
wrong. You should only need to be happy and need not adjust for other’s
happiness.”
Those weren’t words I wanted to hear from my son.
Those were words, I wanted to hear from my family. Forget the world, but I wished
if my father, my mother or atleast my brother; even once said those words to
me, atleast to comfort me, calm me, console me. They didn’t. Instead, they kept
pointing out the fact that society doesnot work this way and being a female, I
am expected to adjust and compromise… not this much but even more. Today,
tomorrow and even for all the days that I might witness.
Their inability to understand me didn’t hurt as
much as their hostility in handling my depressed heart. The harsh words poked
me. The insults killed me. The emotional blackmails squeezed me. I had two
options. Give up on the hope to be happy and live as I did all these years…Or
to take all the pain and then make them my strength to seek my happiness.
Today, I finally walked out. It was not just out of
a house. It was out of a system, a society, a life, a family. I walked out of
everything that had crushed me and my hopes to live… I have a big
responsibility ahead of me, my son. I will not let him down. I was his super
hero Mom always. I had to be strong. But ask me, if I am strong enough to go
thru the past days again, I will run away… Can’t even imagine, how I had the
courage to do what I did. To stand up for myself.
But hereon, what and how, I don’t know? But, I
finally stood up for myself. I have unbelievably marked the start of this
journey and may the almighty guide me thru to the safe, comforting shelter of
his love and peace…. Praying that his presence be with me and my son…
Please, be with us…
