I shall never change...

I had borrowed my cousin’s scooter for my early morning temple visits. So as I rode out of that temple premise; suddenly I heard a voice, “Child, you are blessed with all talents…”… I was a bit surprised… The scooter was automatically stopped as I looked to my right side to see who said that…I saw a man by the road side with a Parrot…He was a Card reader… The tensions in my mind was so depressing that I was ACTUALLY looking for some comfort or solution or positive support from somewhere..As always; I decided to try knowing what is in store for me…As u all know, I believe strongly in astrology and palmistry and all…

I parked the scooter on the road side, right near him…and sat on a stone paved foot path in front of the parrot… I had a completely blank face, smiling hard, embarrassed at myself for sitting there on that road side… That was a first time for me…I always had some relatives with me… As soon as, I sat there…he continued…

“Child, u were destined to see me today… u have come to the goddess’ abode asking for some peace of mind… you did everything u could… but still u r not happy…u dint step out of her premise with the least amount of satisfaction…”
I smiled…

“U smile as if u have NO Worries…but that’s a charade u had put ON from the day u were born… u would never part with that smile, even if u might scream with pain… U are waiting for a positive reply…A Job change is right near you… You would change your job within a month…That is 100% fixed…But before that you would be writing an exam for that job change…”

I was surprised…Yeah, Job change is right…but exam..Naaah…I am already done with interview and assessment and all… All that was remaining was a positive reply from my old office and to join the new place ON time… (but, within a day, I knew, what he said was right…bcoz the very evening, the HR staff from the new place called me and informed me that she is sending me a link for an Online Assessment… I need to complete the test ASAP….)

And so he continued…Trust me friends..even if I wasn’t a believer, that day, I would have started believing astrology or atleast his talent in telling the most confidential phase of my life…as if he was part of my life through out… He didn’t ask for big amount of money or anything… He just said, “the next time u come to this temple; u would not have to fake a smile…u would be genuinely happy…and that day; offer a lamp for the Goddess as a token of Thanks..”

At that point, I wondered, will I ever be able to happily enter the temple premises… Bcoz it seemed close to impossible then…But today I know, I would be going there happily the next time I go to that city…atleast, I wouldn’t be sad thinking of the unhappy situation I had faced at my old office…

I really wanna share with u some of the most surprising things that he said about me…which nobdy can discover within 5 minutes of seeing me…

1. Your son gets the love of 02 mothers…could be ur mother or mother in law…He cares for the other mother more than he cares for u… (TRUE, grrrr….)
2. You were supposed to be one out 3 kids for your parents…But in existence; u will have only 1 brother…. (True, my mom had done an abortion before me…hmm…)
3. Your brother cares for your son like a father and your son is attached to your brother more than he could be with his own father. (True…)
4. You have got a very keen Sixth sense; but none around u heed to your words until and unless they realize it in the hard way… (True True…)
5. You have never had any positive vibe from your In Laws…in fact, You just do what u shd be doing…unfortunately for everything u do for them, never expect anything good in return…you wouldn’t even get love from them…

The more he said, the belief inside me was growing more…How could somebody say so precisely about things in a stranger’s life…He dint promise big things…but then, as I left him that day…eventhough, my tensions stayed as it was before..still I had a hope… IF HE IS RIGHT, then… all my problems will be soon over… Co-incidence or not; as soon as I was back from vacation; I got my release from my old office and I am sitting happily at my new place now…
Do you wanna know; what was that one thing he told me that really made me think hard…he said..

“Child…whatever happen…WHATEVER….never do 3 things in ur life…bcoz these r the three things that can turn hazardous to u….
1. Don’t get angry…(I knew it…as anger was one thing that was really making me uncontrollable)
2. Never cry… (uhmmm…that’s true…bcoz, the moment I cried, I turned weak and vulnerable…I always faced every problems with my stubborn confidence…)
3. Never give a single penny with your hand to ANYBODY…not even as a gift… (How true, bcoz every single person whom I had considered the best f my friends, once I lend money to them during their hard times…just disappeared…Losing the money was not the pain..but realizing the truth of a Person who I had considered as a GOOD FRIEND was not a good feeling…)”

But then on a lighter note, It is not good for me to lend money to anybody…But, Hey…I can borrow…from ANYBODY…

Hey guys, I know, you would have 101 thoughts and anti slogans for my belief…but please trust me…this is my belief and I am not going to change…lol!!!

I shall never change…

Bribing the Almighty...

Touch wood, things in my life r going in a normal way with not much negative stuffs to worry about …the back pain and the allergy issues do disturb me at times..but I can manage them now, as I am emotionally happy…yipeeeee…Do u remember myself talking to u all about my belief in Astrology…uhmm…these r the moments, when my belief gets stronger…Hey, Dint I tell u about my encounter with the Astrologer during my vacation 2 months back???Oho…I missed that…I shdnt have…I know, many of u doesn’t really have much belief in such things…but I would wanna stick to my personal choice…OK???

So, as u all know, last June, was the month I had this new job offer and I was almost happy…but something was bugging me inside that I couldn’t believe that, ATLAST, I gonna get out of that environment…with much better prospects… Something in me was not letting me be HAPPY and my friend was continuously assuring me…”WHY WORRY..SEE, EVERYTHING IS FINE…U GOT THE OFFER, U SIGNED THE CONTRACT…NOW U GO FOR UR VACATION AND WHEN U COME BACK U START AFRESH AT THE NEW PLACE…”…True…but, something wasn’t right…I felt…My Sixth Sense maybe…

Exactly 1 day before I was flying off for vacation, a call from my HR (my old company)…. The tone was not so encouraging… OUTLINE… ‘I can’t leave the company…atleast for another 2 months…and also I can’t go on leave during my Notice period…I can utilize my leave balance, maybe during the 2nd month of my notice period…’…NOWWWW…I was devastated…my New company wanted to me to start with them ASAP…and these people wont let me go before 2 months…I was lost…I felt, I am losing my present job and also the new job offer…I was like almost pleading while I requested the HR to help me sort it out with much damage…hmmm…Anyways, thanks to the HR Director…she asked me to go on leave as I had some Doctor’s appointments too to take care of…

But, the uncertainty on my job front was eating me throughout… That’s what I had mentioned in one of my earlier post… I felt, Now ONLY God could help me…I literally stepped into the Temples with weeping hearts… (u can understand what big a trauma I was in, then…)…Not a single person around me ever realized that…As I always had those smiling, laughing stature…Why make them worry, that’s what I always followed…So naturally, Temples were the only resort for me to outpour my emotions, fears and sorrows…Hoping, he, the almighty would help me out…

I went to each place…Enquiring to every person at the temple, for the different rituals that I could do to remove all obstacles in my life…for any special prayers to remove tensions from my life…and what not…Literally, I was bribing God, the almighty…IF U HELP ME WITH THIS, I WOULD DO THIS and THAT…hmm…I thought of it in that way…AM I DOING WRONG by taking up this way…Can gods be bribed…

Uhm… Anyways…whatever it was… He was my final Hope…and I decided to leave everything in his hands… Somewhere deep inside, I kept on giving him different Offers…”IF this…then that…”… I offered any rituals that was considered auspicious at every temple I visited…Prayed soo hard…I felt better..but not Best…As I stood in front of those Idols of my Spiritual Beliefs…I was literally talking to them..as if I was to my own mother…

“God, u know na..what is happening…Its too troublesome for me..Pls do smthing, na…I cant take this tension anymore…I don’t wanna end up losing my new job…it’s a good one…Sort it out…Soon…before I return after my vacation..solve the problems…OK???”

And so on went the One-sided conversations…As I exited each of those temple doors, I turned and looked at them…as if to remind them one last time NOT to forget my issue…hmmm…and it was at the steps of one such temple…I found him..or lemme say…

HE FOUND ME…

Good Bye Miss. Show OFF...Phew!!!

Blogging seems to be a never happening thing for me now a days…hmmm…ofcourse, I swear, laziness is not the reason..if SO, I would have atleast visited others’ blogs and commented too na…Maybe after days I was able to atleast peep into Dost’s blog ystrdy…and when he saw my comment…he complained…why am I not writing to him now a days…Hey, Dost..trust me…I am indeed busy…or rather, the lesser working hours during the Ramadan month attributes to the busy status of myself…

So, let me continue with the confrontation episode…by now, SHE is Past for me…a past tht I almost wanna ignore in my life…But as, I had started telling u guys about her..I wanna atleast complete that phase of my confrontation with Miss. Show OFF..

So after the Phone Call Issue…We continued…

Jzt: So, S…I really wanna listen to all ur reasons to harass me…tel me, my next mistake as per U…What is that second thing that u feel I do that is NOT RIGHT…

S: U DON’T ASK FOR WORK…

Jzt: WHAT?

S: When u have no work to do? U don’t look for work around…

Jzt: S, can u tell me..in this office, who is the ONE who ask for work …

S: Yes, Only U ask…but when we have no work at all…then…

Jzt: THEN??? What do I do then…When I am done with my work…I ask all my colleagues if they need my help on anything…If none of them have anything, what else u expect me to do…

S: U are browsing the net…and U sit simply…U should look for work…

Jzt: (turning to Boss) Boss, Can u do me a favour…Can u please ask the IT team to get a printout of the websites myself and others in this office is visiting…I would like to see, WHO IS BROWSING and WHO IS NOT…and WHAT and HOW MUCH are they browsing… (I was sure, if such a thing was done, SHE would be the first one in trouble…bcoz she was the only one who browsed the whole day)… I am asking u this bcoz, I am sure of what I am doing..and I don’t have to fear anything… U tell me, my Job Description is to XXXXXXXXX…When I am done with tht, I ask all of them if they have anything to do…and if NONE of them have anything, I would rather sit simply, or read some Newspapers online or maxim some blogs….You can see the ratio of work happening in this department..With 80% work done by myself, how u expect I get FREE time…from the moment I enter this office, I am head down on work and IF by any chance I get some free time, WHAT DO U WANT ME TO DO…WALK AROUND ALL THE FLOORS AND ASK IF ANY OTHER DEPARTMENT HAS ANY WORK…

Boss: Uhm, S…I again feel… SHE is right…I know the amount of work Jzt is doing…and even if she is browsing when she has nothing else to do..Why worry..As long as her work is not affected, its of no worries…We all browse..I too does…So, maybe u should change ur outlook…

S: Yes Boss…(again angry node…)

Jzt: Ok, u can continue…What is the next issue…

S: I don’t remember anything as such…But then, I don’t like u telling me about ur things…

Jzt: WHAT…I am telling u about my things..or U r shouting about urself in the office so tht the whole office hear u…WHAT do u know abt me…Have u ever heard me telling anything personal, in this office…

S: No, I meant, whenever u go out of the office…U tell me where u r going..I don’t like tht…

(Now, the issue is…When I visit another department or go for lunch or the washroom..I inform her of the same…Reason was mainly because, if at all somebody looks for me, She could atleast let them know where am I…and I explained the same to the boss…)

Jzt: Ok, S…if u don’t wanna know it…I wouldn’t say...Its easy for me too…and much better…

Boss: Ok, Jzt..so now u know, right..?? So now onwards, never tell her where u going..she doesn't like it…

Jzt: Yes Boss…(Smiling...or was it ridiculing…)

And with tht…the confrontation part was over…a sort of SILENCE prevailed between us…days passed by..I submitted my resignation…went for vacation…joined back work…1 week more with that office…and on the last day….Work was flowing like hell…She, for some reason kept on bulking my table with the work…When she kept 7 files on my table, she place 2 on the other females desk…I dint mind…I finished all 7…before lunch break… I informed my boss that I was going for a farewell lunch arranged by some of the friends from other department…Unfortunately, I got delayed by 30minutes…I informed my Boss of the same…I had also kept another colleague informed of the same…

As I came back, a colleague from other office told me that S was looking for me..As I went to my office, I asked S if she was looking for me… “YES, I was…I HAD to know where u have disappeared…”…and I replied… “Oh, but I thought, u dint like me telling u where I was going…that was what was decided during the other day meeting…Moreover, I had informed XX and also the boss too…” I could feel (#&$(^$*^@(^$ from her side…

The day was nearing end…She kept on dumping work on my table… I knew, I wouldn’t be able to finish them…as I had enough work for Hand over too…thus..

Jzt: S, I don’t think, I will be able to finish all this…I have so much of stuff to finish and handover before the day end…

S: I don’t CARE…

Jzt: OK…U might not care…BUT I should care about what I am doing…and I cant take up new files when I have pending stuff to be done…

SILENCE….for few minutes…and again…

S: I just want those files to be done before evening…

Jzt: I am sorry, but I have other responsibilities too…

S: U should have thought about it before going for ur Lunch Break…I couldn’t go out because of these works… (Now, POINT TO BE NOTED…she HAD nothing to do..and was just browsing even when she was arguing with me… All she was doing was, getting the new files and dumping on my table…IF SHE WAS that concerned, she could have picked on any of those files and started working on it…Ofcourse, an extra hand would have made a big difference that day…especially, when the load was too large and only me and the other girl was working on them…)

Jzt: Now, S…I didn’t use ur personal time for my lunch break..If I have gone for break, that is what I am entitled for..and the remaining 30minutes, I had informed the person whom I should be informing and that is my BOSS..I am not answerable to u and U R NONE TO order me what I should do..Atleast now, let me decide what I should be doing…I very well know, what IS MY PRIORITY…and u better take care of urself…

I could again feel….grrr…%$&%$#^&%*(^#! ... Anyways, after another 30minutes, she again asked.. “How many files more will u be able to finished today…” and I replied… “I don’t think any…” and that was it…

Now the embarrassing moment came much later…Lol…

Would you believe, just 10 minutes before the end of the working hours…She came out with a FAREWELL CAKE …and that too baked by herself…Gosh… my boss had asked her to…but then, I felt soo embarrassed…I and she had a fight exactly on the day when I was leaving and especially when she had baked me a Cake…

Anyways…a Farewell Speech was made…and my Boss apologetically said that he feel bad that I was dumped with work on my last day…and I was a great employee and was PERFECT in my work…hmmmm….

He then, jokingly said… “Between U and S, maybe something called Chemistry was never there…Else nobody else ever had any issue with Jzt…Whatever happened…nothing should be kept at heart and as we part ways, u should have only good thoughts about us, Jzt…”

And that was the END…of my service there…the Show down and my Cold War with Miss Show OFF…

Good Bye, Miss. Show OFF...Phew!!!

The Royal Confrontation - One DOWN

Thanks to all my blogends who were sweet enough to wish me good luck and give their opinions on what happened with me and Ms. S… Some of u had doubts in mind, why I took it for so long and why should I run away from it…To explain that, you should know exactly what was in my mind while taking all tht in…

I was with that company for almost 3 hours when Recession struck …the department I worked for then was separated from the company and a new Management started ruling it…and to safeguard their employees, majority employees from my department got termination letters including me…If you guys go back to starting days in 2009, you can see what was my mental stature then…It was at such a situation that I was offered this position cancelling my Termination…I was overwhelmed and was at peace…As I feared a financial instability at that moment if there was NO JOB situation…

With this fear in mind, naturally, when u get into a new place, u try to adjust with that place, how much ever problems u might have to face…especially, when u know that Boss trusted the Culprit more than anybody in that department… and especially when rest of the colleagues, never raised a formal complaint, I felt, HOW, I who came just now could start issues…and how can I expect Boss to believe me… rather, he could take me as Problem Maker…Thus, I took everything in…When it was growing above limits…I spoke to him..but dint find much solace…and again tried the same few months back…and what happened, you know…Now, what happened that day…after she placed herself on the chair opposite to me in the Boss’s office room…enjoy…

The Royal Confrontation…

She walked in and took a chair against me…Placed her leg one on top of the other and sat looking at the Boss’s face…I could see, the Boss finding difficulty to start…hmmmm…Finally the words came out…I am typing down some interesting part of that almost 45minutes discussion cum downpour or Final show down…

Boss: Yes, S…U had a complaint about Jzt that she was using the phone a lot. She wanted to speak to you for clarification

S: Sure…Yes, What I said is TRUE? (passing occasional stares towards me…maybe she thought she could burn me down…

Jzt: S, Can you confirm that I am misusing the office hours for my personal phone calls?

S: Yes, you are on the phone too much…

Boss: Jzt, that is not a good way..U should follow some work ethics…(as usual, he was jumping the bush)

Jzt: S, tell me, am I on the phone for long hours. Doesn’t anybody else in this office get calls? Are you not talking on the phone Yappy Yappy, so loudly that the whole floor has to listen to your Cat’s stories or Mother-in Law problems…Have I ever disturbed you with a Single call? Am I talking on the phone loudly? My phone is on Silent mode and even if I get calls, do u see me answering them, except for some really urgent ones…

S: Yes, everybody gets call…But when U get 6 calls, the other girl might get 5 and I might get 4…So u r getting maxim calls..and I dint say you are on phone for long hours..I just said, U GET CALLS… U might not answer, but still u do get calls…

Jzt: S, I am coming here to provide for my family. That doesn’t mean, when I leave my home, I SHOULD forget them and not answer any calls from home or friends. I WOULD ofcourse answer them. But I have the professional ethics to see to it that my talking on the phone doesn’t disturb my colleagues or that I talk on phone for long hours…

(After a series of U, U, ME, ME..)

Boss: Ha, S…If she is only getting calls and not actually answering, then why make it an issue…If she doesn’t sit on phone for long time, then ??…We all would get calls, right…and we CAN talk on phone without disturbing others…So I really doesn’t think, there’s a concern here…I think, you should really think, if there is any BIG issue in this for you to Blame her…

S: OK, Boss… (not so happy expression)

ONE DOWN…and…

to be continued...