Good Bye Miss. Show OFF...Phew!!!

Blogging seems to be a never happening thing for me now a days…hmmm…ofcourse, I swear, laziness is not the reason..if SO, I would have atleast visited others’ blogs and commented too na…Maybe after days I was able to atleast peep into Dost’s blog ystrdy…and when he saw my comment…he complained…why am I not writing to him now a days…Hey, Dost..trust me…I am indeed busy…or rather, the lesser working hours during the Ramadan month attributes to the busy status of myself…

So, let me continue with the confrontation episode…by now, SHE is Past for me…a past tht I almost wanna ignore in my life…But as, I had started telling u guys about her..I wanna atleast complete that phase of my confrontation with Miss. Show OFF..

So after the Phone Call Issue…We continued…

Jzt: So, S…I really wanna listen to all ur reasons to harass me…tel me, my next mistake as per U…What is that second thing that u feel I do that is NOT RIGHT…

S: U DON’T ASK FOR WORK…

Jzt: WHAT?

S: When u have no work to do? U don’t look for work around…

Jzt: S, can u tell me..in this office, who is the ONE who ask for work …

S: Yes, Only U ask…but when we have no work at all…then…

Jzt: THEN??? What do I do then…When I am done with my work…I ask all my colleagues if they need my help on anything…If none of them have anything, what else u expect me to do…

S: U are browsing the net…and U sit simply…U should look for work…

Jzt: (turning to Boss) Boss, Can u do me a favour…Can u please ask the IT team to get a printout of the websites myself and others in this office is visiting…I would like to see, WHO IS BROWSING and WHO IS NOT…and WHAT and HOW MUCH are they browsing… (I was sure, if such a thing was done, SHE would be the first one in trouble…bcoz she was the only one who browsed the whole day)… I am asking u this bcoz, I am sure of what I am doing..and I don’t have to fear anything… U tell me, my Job Description is to XXXXXXXXX…When I am done with tht, I ask all of them if they have anything to do…and if NONE of them have anything, I would rather sit simply, or read some Newspapers online or maxim some blogs….You can see the ratio of work happening in this department..With 80% work done by myself, how u expect I get FREE time…from the moment I enter this office, I am head down on work and IF by any chance I get some free time, WHAT DO U WANT ME TO DO…WALK AROUND ALL THE FLOORS AND ASK IF ANY OTHER DEPARTMENT HAS ANY WORK…

Boss: Uhm, S…I again feel… SHE is right…I know the amount of work Jzt is doing…and even if she is browsing when she has nothing else to do..Why worry..As long as her work is not affected, its of no worries…We all browse..I too does…So, maybe u should change ur outlook…

S: Yes Boss…(again angry node…)

Jzt: Ok, u can continue…What is the next issue…

S: I don’t remember anything as such…But then, I don’t like u telling me about ur things…

Jzt: WHAT…I am telling u about my things..or U r shouting about urself in the office so tht the whole office hear u…WHAT do u know abt me…Have u ever heard me telling anything personal, in this office…

S: No, I meant, whenever u go out of the office…U tell me where u r going..I don’t like tht…

(Now, the issue is…When I visit another department or go for lunch or the washroom..I inform her of the same…Reason was mainly because, if at all somebody looks for me, She could atleast let them know where am I…and I explained the same to the boss…)

Jzt: Ok, S…if u don’t wanna know it…I wouldn’t say...Its easy for me too…and much better…

Boss: Ok, Jzt..so now u know, right..?? So now onwards, never tell her where u going..she doesn't like it…

Jzt: Yes Boss…(Smiling...or was it ridiculing…)

And with tht…the confrontation part was over…a sort of SILENCE prevailed between us…days passed by..I submitted my resignation…went for vacation…joined back work…1 week more with that office…and on the last day….Work was flowing like hell…She, for some reason kept on bulking my table with the work…When she kept 7 files on my table, she place 2 on the other females desk…I dint mind…I finished all 7…before lunch break… I informed my boss that I was going for a farewell lunch arranged by some of the friends from other department…Unfortunately, I got delayed by 30minutes…I informed my Boss of the same…I had also kept another colleague informed of the same…

As I came back, a colleague from other office told me that S was looking for me..As I went to my office, I asked S if she was looking for me… “YES, I was…I HAD to know where u have disappeared…”…and I replied… “Oh, but I thought, u dint like me telling u where I was going…that was what was decided during the other day meeting…Moreover, I had informed XX and also the boss too…” I could feel (#&$(^$*^@(^$ from her side…

The day was nearing end…She kept on dumping work on my table… I knew, I wouldn’t be able to finish them…as I had enough work for Hand over too…thus..

Jzt: S, I don’t think, I will be able to finish all this…I have so much of stuff to finish and handover before the day end…

S: I don’t CARE…

Jzt: OK…U might not care…BUT I should care about what I am doing…and I cant take up new files when I have pending stuff to be done…

SILENCE….for few minutes…and again…

S: I just want those files to be done before evening…

Jzt: I am sorry, but I have other responsibilities too…

S: U should have thought about it before going for ur Lunch Break…I couldn’t go out because of these works… (Now, POINT TO BE NOTED…she HAD nothing to do..and was just browsing even when she was arguing with me… All she was doing was, getting the new files and dumping on my table…IF SHE WAS that concerned, she could have picked on any of those files and started working on it…Ofcourse, an extra hand would have made a big difference that day…especially, when the load was too large and only me and the other girl was working on them…)

Jzt: Now, S…I didn’t use ur personal time for my lunch break..If I have gone for break, that is what I am entitled for..and the remaining 30minutes, I had informed the person whom I should be informing and that is my BOSS..I am not answerable to u and U R NONE TO order me what I should do..Atleast now, let me decide what I should be doing…I very well know, what IS MY PRIORITY…and u better take care of urself…

I could again feel….grrr…%$&%$#^&%*(^#! ... Anyways, after another 30minutes, she again asked.. “How many files more will u be able to finished today…” and I replied… “I don’t think any…” and that was it…

Now the embarrassing moment came much later…Lol…

Would you believe, just 10 minutes before the end of the working hours…She came out with a FAREWELL CAKE …and that too baked by herself…Gosh… my boss had asked her to…but then, I felt soo embarrassed…I and she had a fight exactly on the day when I was leaving and especially when she had baked me a Cake…

Anyways…a Farewell Speech was made…and my Boss apologetically said that he feel bad that I was dumped with work on my last day…and I was a great employee and was PERFECT in my work…hmmmm….

He then, jokingly said… “Between U and S, maybe something called Chemistry was never there…Else nobody else ever had any issue with Jzt…Whatever happened…nothing should be kept at heart and as we part ways, u should have only good thoughts about us, Jzt…”

And that was the END…of my service there…the Show down and my Cold War with Miss Show OFF…

Good Bye, Miss. Show OFF...Phew!!!

The Royal Confrontation - One DOWN

Thanks to all my blogends who were sweet enough to wish me good luck and give their opinions on what happened with me and Ms. S… Some of u had doubts in mind, why I took it for so long and why should I run away from it…To explain that, you should know exactly what was in my mind while taking all tht in…

I was with that company for almost 3 hours when Recession struck …the department I worked for then was separated from the company and a new Management started ruling it…and to safeguard their employees, majority employees from my department got termination letters including me…If you guys go back to starting days in 2009, you can see what was my mental stature then…It was at such a situation that I was offered this position cancelling my Termination…I was overwhelmed and was at peace…As I feared a financial instability at that moment if there was NO JOB situation…

With this fear in mind, naturally, when u get into a new place, u try to adjust with that place, how much ever problems u might have to face…especially, when u know that Boss trusted the Culprit more than anybody in that department… and especially when rest of the colleagues, never raised a formal complaint, I felt, HOW, I who came just now could start issues…and how can I expect Boss to believe me… rather, he could take me as Problem Maker…Thus, I took everything in…When it was growing above limits…I spoke to him..but dint find much solace…and again tried the same few months back…and what happened, you know…Now, what happened that day…after she placed herself on the chair opposite to me in the Boss’s office room…enjoy…

The Royal Confrontation…

She walked in and took a chair against me…Placed her leg one on top of the other and sat looking at the Boss’s face…I could see, the Boss finding difficulty to start…hmmmm…Finally the words came out…I am typing down some interesting part of that almost 45minutes discussion cum downpour or Final show down…

Boss: Yes, S…U had a complaint about Jzt that she was using the phone a lot. She wanted to speak to you for clarification

S: Sure…Yes, What I said is TRUE? (passing occasional stares towards me…maybe she thought she could burn me down…

Jzt: S, Can you confirm that I am misusing the office hours for my personal phone calls?

S: Yes, you are on the phone too much…

Boss: Jzt, that is not a good way..U should follow some work ethics…(as usual, he was jumping the bush)

Jzt: S, tell me, am I on the phone for long hours. Doesn’t anybody else in this office get calls? Are you not talking on the phone Yappy Yappy, so loudly that the whole floor has to listen to your Cat’s stories or Mother-in Law problems…Have I ever disturbed you with a Single call? Am I talking on the phone loudly? My phone is on Silent mode and even if I get calls, do u see me answering them, except for some really urgent ones…

S: Yes, everybody gets call…But when U get 6 calls, the other girl might get 5 and I might get 4…So u r getting maxim calls..and I dint say you are on phone for long hours..I just said, U GET CALLS… U might not answer, but still u do get calls…

Jzt: S, I am coming here to provide for my family. That doesn’t mean, when I leave my home, I SHOULD forget them and not answer any calls from home or friends. I WOULD ofcourse answer them. But I have the professional ethics to see to it that my talking on the phone doesn’t disturb my colleagues or that I talk on phone for long hours…

(After a series of U, U, ME, ME..)

Boss: Ha, S…If she is only getting calls and not actually answering, then why make it an issue…If she doesn’t sit on phone for long time, then ??…We all would get calls, right…and we CAN talk on phone without disturbing others…So I really doesn’t think, there’s a concern here…I think, you should really think, if there is any BIG issue in this for you to Blame her…

S: OK, Boss… (not so happy expression)

ONE DOWN…and…

to be continued...

Height of Artificiality...

Ok, all my Blogends (Blogger +Friends)… Finally I am off all those traps that I was bound by…I am in here, with lot of fresh air and a fresh positive feeling…Thanks to Dost & Tomz for their prompt response to my earlier blog… Being away from Blogs for long period has such disadvantages…all those regulars who have been there giving me their precious opinions cease coming in …when they see I am no longer writing anything…lol!!! But still, never mind…I would want to vent out all the happiness and sorrows in here..so that I feel relieved by dumping them on to my Blogends’ head..hehe!!! Cool na…So, I am sure, U can feel the cheerfulness in my mood today…that’s the effect of the newness in my life…hmmm…

SO for those who are wondering, what happened..and for those who could understand nothing from my previous blog…Let me tell u…after all the hassles, finally I left my old job and joined a new company…with a better pay, benefits and Position…Ok…now, don’t think…the pay or the benefits or the position was my attraction…they were all added gifts from God to me…The main attraction of the New Job was that I COULD LEAVE THAT PLACE…not that the company I worked for was bad..It was a wonderful company..but the ONE person that I had the misfortune to work with…had made me hate that job where I had spend my last 5 years…

I know, Past is Past…but then, at times, I really wonder, how could I be so enduring…I, who could not take the least bit of unpleasant behavior suffered absolute unacceptable behavior for 2 years without fighting back…hmmm…Wanna share it with you guys…I am sure, many of u might have already gone thru such situations…which should be clearly called as an ABUSE…a Professional Abuse…The name suits it well..as the harassment I had faced was at a very professional environment in a professional way…lol!!!So here goes, some highlights of my days of Abuse…hmm…

Starting Days
An extremely artificial person…Lets call her S meets me and assists me in knowing the work. I wondered why I felt her behavior to be so ARTIFICIAL when she was so nice to me…Days passed as I realized, how artificially she showed her pleasantness to all that was pleasant to her. I behaved well…hmmm…She was not my Boss, but at times she acted as one…I dint mind, as long as it wasn’t of much intensity…

After Six Months…
I was selected as one of the few to be with the Top Management for some specific meetings. I dint feel it to be a big thing, while others said it was…and that day, I started seeing that she started to shower me with rudeness and harshness in anything and everything…Any query from my side was answered with an “IDONT KNOW.. U GO CHECK”…”DON’T TELL ME”…etc etc…I ignored…and behaved friendly as always…

Another Six months…
I had no time to even raise my head at my desk…NOT bcoz work was overflowing in the office…but bcoz work was over flowing on my table…While my two other colleagues sat joking, surfing nets…I was dumped with stuff to do…I WAS FINE…as I never wasted time and finished my work daily on time without keeping anything for pending…

The Two Onlookers…
Uhm my two other colleagues…they behaved normal when she was not around..and when she was there, they behaved as if they never knew me…One of them warned me of S’s nature…of backbiting and bitching…She told me, how she was the Victim till I came and now, S is busy focusing on only ME…She shamelessly told me, how she acted so excitedly to her just to avoid a confrontation…I too started noticing, how quickly they used to ridicule her the moment she left the room..even for the matters they all spoke so sweetly with each other…They adviced me too to just SHOW OFF affection…I couldn’t…So…situation didn’t change much…I existed in that office only for the work side and for them, they acted, I dint ever exist…

Tough days…
After the First year, it was almost near to my limit of adjusting and ignoring..things started getting into my nerves…Finally, I decided to take it up with Superiors…I reached the HR…The Director gave two options…Either go for a formal Complaint..or Confront her with the issue…

I confronted her in front of the Boss…She said some CRAP reasons for her CRAPPY behavior…She was in the tension of some exams…I said softly… “Never take your personal tensions on others… I wouldn’t do that even if I had 101 tensions outside...”

Behind the Scene
She was genuinely trying to malign my reputation in front of my boss…with regular complaints about me..Can we call it a complaint…or should we call it a School Kid fantasies… “Teacher, tht kid pinched me…Teacher, she’s staring at me…Teacher, She’s not sitting on her seat…”

On three different occasions, the BOSS behaved as if he believed everything he said, and he came forward with some SO CALLED SUGGESTIONS…He never confronted me with such issues as complaints…But as Suggestions… Some of the conversations we had…

“Jzt, please take care of coming on time to work…HR is monitoring”
“But, Boss, I reach office daily 15 minutes before time…”
“OH OK, then fine…I just informed you of policies…” (Remember, I had joined that company even before he was there…and this was just an Internal Transfer)

“Jzt, kindly see to it that during office timings, you don’t use the phone much…”
“But Boss, you are sitting near me. Have you ever seen me on phone during duty hours…”
“No..I haven’t seen you..I was just saying…”
“Ok, if I was doing that, I could have controlled it..Still I will keep it in mind..”

“Jzt, S is planning some work…her new initiative…U should help her in tht..”
“But Boss, this has been initiated & implemented by me soon after I joined this office…And I am regularly updating it…”
“Oh, u r already up-to date on that…??? Then its fine…”

Etc etc etc…

Three months back…
Limits were broken…frustrations grew…No talks helped…I hated going to that office, seeing her face…Wished, I could just leave everything and blast out of that place…Indirectly, it started affecting my health…my mental peace..my behavior…my temperament…in short…it was destroying me completely… I knew it…

A Confidential Meeting…
A Last try…Met with the Boss personally…and explained how pathetic things were happening…He claimed, that even he had noticed…At the end, I declared… “If she can’t change, I can either look for a job change or a department change…”… He too was firm when he said... “NO, she has to change...that is not professional…”…We part ways deciding that soon he will meet me and her together and sit and discuss…I waited eagerly for the day…

That was it…
Five days after the meeting, the BOSS called me and shocked me when he said... “Jzt, I have got a complaint against you…You talk on the phone a lot during working hours…”

That was the limit… and I blasted… “BOSS, I AM DONE WITH THIS, NOW...ANYMORE DISCUSSION, I DO IT IN FRONT OF HER…I WANT TO CLEAR THIS NOW AND HERE…”

And soon…She entered…with her usual Artificial Self…for the first time, I laughed mockingly…towards that embodiment of artificiality…

Height of Artificiality…

Door of Hope...

Ok…sooo…laziness is indeed a beautiful experience…uhmm..I think for past 2 months, I was popping out all of sudden and welcoming myself back…Sad part is not many actually noticed my absence…Many of u didn’t even wanted to double check if I was dead or still alive…hmm..maybe u knew it better…Thanks to those few who DID check my whereabouts…and was particularly concerned about my health..uhmm…I am hoping that now onwards I be able to continue normally..without any more laziness flowing into my senses…

Let me tell u guys…more than laziness, it was my peaceless mind that was initiating this long silence from my side…I who always loved to type long mails, felt soo disturbed that even an SMS was too much for me to type…Unanswered mails filled up my Inbox and Unattended duties overflowed into my consciousness… I knew, I wasn’t me…but somehow…even the strongest Rock can break at some point…uhm…Am I being too much by comparing myself to a Rock…Naaaahh!!!!

Anyways…days gone are gone… in between I been for a short vacation too…Yipeee, for my cousin’s marriage…Didn’t I tell u guys of my cousin who was getting married to a Northie…Cool…had a SUPERB marriage…Our Marriages are mainly rituals…so imagine, if adding to it, we followed all traditional rituals of North Indians too…Double Dhamaka…Still a regret…the days when I should have been open heartedly enjoying…I was actually in dilemma…hmm..

I could have very well called myself a Fire Cracker…Outside it was all colours and beautiful exploding out its beauty…Inside, it was all a burning…hmm…Yeah…reason being Uncertainity…as usual…Imagine, u find a door in front of you open for you...u know, it’s the door thru where u can escape ur sorrows…but then, as u approach it, u find urself entangled in some ropes and in that confusion, U feel the doors are closing slowly…Only if u release yourself from those ropes, can u reach the door before it gets completely closed…I was in somewhat similar situation….

I took my flight to my home country with such an entanglement in my heart and mind…Had NO idea what was going to happen to that New Hope…So naturally..amidst all the fun, my mind was restless and tensed and upset…I laughed and smiled and all of a sudden I would get gloomy at heart…tried hard not to show it out and spoil other’s mood too…Thus through out my vacation, I was like burning inside and glowing outside…hmm…

Again…past is past…today…I am near that door…Almost 99% of the trap beneath my feet is off me…I could slowly get up and walk towards that door…I feel I will be soon entering that door…Just a few more obstacles and I would be in there…where I feel I would be freed from all the tensions I have been going through the past years…where I could be myself…where I could have everything that I wished to have…where I could be happy and feel wanted…

Yes friends…Wish me luck…add me in your prayers…pray for me that all those optimistic feelings I have now would come true…Pray for me so that the Door be what I wish for…and Let not that door be another Trap…I am right there, just waiting for the last few steps to be taken…with a mixture of optimism and pessimism, here I am taking those steps…towards that door…

The Door of Hope…